“Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence” – Seneca
Developing Confidence in Yourself
What is your biggest obstacle to more self-confidence? I think it’s your internal dialogue – the way you talk to yourself. If you think negative thoughts – than negative things will happen. It’s the law of attraction happening in real-time. A low self-image translates into a lack of confidence – which causes us to think negative thoughts – which in turn causes us to hold back and give up easily rather than to face tough challenges.
“The better people think they are, the better they will be. A positive self-image creates success’ – Liisa Joronen. World class athletes, like world-class actors visualize a Gold Medal – Oscar-winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their mind’s eye what their performance will look like. And then they go out and replay that winning performance in real-time.
You need to visualize how a great manager looks and acts and then play that video for real. The more you do it – the more you will become it. (Think it – Act it – Become it) Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your self-confidence.
Five Ways to Develop Confidence in Yourself:
- Look for a role-model or mentor. What is it about their style that you like? What do they do that makes them appear confident? (Their walk, the way they look or the way they talk?) Act like they act and you’ll eventually begin to act the same way. I love Tom Peter’s style when he delivers a speech (Author of “In Search of Excellence”) So when I first began giving speeches I emulated his style and it eventually became my style. I created a “Habit” and I now do it without thinking about it. (A good habit is a good result – plain and simple)
- Focus on your achievements rather than your failures. Focus on what you did well and what you are going to do better the next time you have the same opportunity. We can all improve. We’ve all done things that in hindsight we would have done differently. I’m forever critiquing myself. But it’s the only way I know how to get better at what I do. How often have you had an exchange with someone that turned ugly? And after you calmed down you went over it again in your mind and realized that you could have handled it better? Remember – No body is perfect but everyone has the capacity to grow and get better.
- Set reachable goals for yourself. (Set SMART targets) Break down difficult tasks into more bite sized pieces. Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time. I love the feeling I get when I get to cross an item off on my To-Do list. It’s even better when I’ve completed everything on the page and I get to tear it out of my notebook and throw that page away.
- Be prepared for every task. Nothing beats thinking and planning it out. You can’t be prepared for everything but you should be able to predict the kinds of things that could happen and how you’ll react to them. You should be able to anticipate the kinds of questions you are going to be asked and script your answers in advance. If you have prepared well you’ll look confident and the other person will think that you are. (Communication is 93% non-verbal. It’s not what you say that people remember – it’s how you went about saying it that people remember the most)
- Remember to be your authentic self. You are not in competition with anyone else but yourself. You are unique. You are who you are. You can only do what you can do. Strive to be the very best You that you can be. Feel good about yourself knowing that you gave 100% of yourself. You can’t do better than that. There is no try – you either do it – or you don’t. And don’t is OK if you gave it 100%.
Someone who is confident in their own abilities and is comfortable in their own skin won’t need to hold anyone else down so that they can feel better about themselves. What do you want people to think and say about you? Think it, act it, become it. Be that person.