Tag Archives: Leadership Development

You Are Who Ever You Think You Are – The Power of Suggestion

Coping with Stress, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , ,

Worth Remembering … “Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important as the one we pass on ourselves. Nearly every psychological problem – from anxiety and depression to self-sabotage at work or at school is traceable to low self-esteem” – Nathaniel Branden Ph.D.

I’m not going to get too deep here – but your internal dialogue (what you say to yourself) has everything to do with the image you project externally. You are whoever you think you are – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can – or can’t – you’re right. If you think you can’t then you’re beat before you even start. David knew he could defeat Goliath. He had faith in his own ability to pull it off. You need to believe that you have the ability to do what ever you set your mind to. You must learn to trust yourself.

We know adults can learn to “Act” in a different way to get a different result. There are a number of things you can do to build up your self-esteem. Read over this list and decide where you want to start. Remember – You are the boss of you. No one can take away your self-esteem without your permission.

1. – Stop comparing yourself to others: You are unique – truly one of a kind. There is no one else like you. You don’t need to apologize to anyone for being you.
2. – Stop putting yourself down with negative thoughts: I believe everything in life is a positive. Even the negative things that will happen are positive ones because each negative thing that happens gives us an opportunity to grow – to learn from it – to get past it and move on.
3. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people: I can’t stand to be around negative people. They wear me out. I have better – far more important things to do with my time than to spend it listening to people complain about their lot in life. They’d rather complain about it – then to do something about it.
4. – Get involved in the work and activities that inspire you: I love what I do. I can’t see myself doing anything else. Do what makes you happy. Choose a career over a job. A career that you’d do even if you didn’t get paid for doing it.
5. – Stop trying to be perfect: No one is perfect. Let me repeat that – NO ONE is perfect. We all make mistakes now and again. You can’t beat yourself up over it. Your future is not in the past so don’t live there. Forgive yourself and those around you for the mistakes that are made and move on.

Low self-esteem, or low self-image, translates into a lack of confidence in ourselves – which causes us to think negative thoughts – which in turn causes us to hold back and give up way too easily rather than face tough challenges. “Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks on a great and honorable course with a sure hope and trust in self” – Cicero. Go ahead – trust yourself – take a leap of faith. If you aren’t making mistakes – you aren’t trying hard enough. Those who make the most mistakes and learn from them – are having the most fun because they are giving themselves permission to grow – to experience all the wonderful things this life has to offer. 🙂 – Cheers,

Park Your Ego At The Door – It’s Not About Being Right 3

Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Drop the idea that you are Atlas carrying the World on your shoulders. The world would go on even without you. Don’t take yourself too seriously.” – Norman Peale. Managing people is not about proving your right. If you’re bent on proving that you’re right and they’re wrong, then you need to pick a different profession. Managing others is about doing whatever it takes to accomplish what it is you need to get done.You’ve got to give up control to get control.

Managing is a team sport. (Together – Everyone – Achieves – More) You and I both know that there are a number of ways to accomplish the same task. Does it really have to be all your way? You have the title of manager. You’re going to get the credit for job well done anyways. (Of course the opposite is also true but don’t let that stop you from allowing your people to do it their way) Try not to get too caught up on the process. (How they go about completing the assigned task) The more that you allow your people to be involved in putting the plan together, the more likely it is that they will be interested in the results. If that means letting them win by doing it their way – as long as it doesn’t compromise the end result – then do it – it’s no big deal.

“Bury your ego. Don’t be the star. Be the star maker.” – Bud Hadfield.

Remember – everyone likes to put their personal stamp on things. You should be prepared to do what ever it takes – to reach your goal – to get everyone on the same page and going in the same direction. If that requires you parking your ego at the door – then so be it. You need your people a great deal more than they need you. You’re going to look pretty silly doing everything yourself. Managing others is about inclusion – not exclusion.

There’s More to Listening Than Hearing 1

Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , ,

“In the industrial age, the CEO sat on the top of the hierarchy and didn’t have to listen to anybody … In the information age; you have to listen to the ideas of people regardless of where they are in the organization.” – John Sculley. Active Listening? What images conjure up in your mind’s eye when you hear that? Who do you think is the most important person in the conversation – the sender or the receiver? Active listening (receiving) is as important to communication as effective speaking (sending). If the receiver doesn’t receive the message the way it was intended then whatever was said means absolutely squat.

Active listening is described as a process in which the listener interacts with the speaker. Effective communication takes two. To really listen to what is being said requires mental and verbal paraphrasing and attention to non-verbal cues like tones, gestures, and facial expressions. (We communicate 93% of the time non-verbally – 38% by the tone of our voice and 55% by body language alone.) The next time you have an opportunity to listen try being actively involved in the exchange by developing/demonstrating these five skills to become a more active listener.

1. Restating and Summarizing: You should be able to restate what the speaker said and or summarize the discussion. The speaker should hear their own words being played back to them. (So what you are saying is …)

2. Paraphrasing: You are paraphrasing what the speaker said by repeating it as accurately as you can – using your own words. If you met someone in the hallway after the discussion could you tell that person what the discussion was about?

3. Non-Words: Listeners can show the speaker that they are listening by verbally and non-verbally acknowledging the speaker. (The Fraser Crane – Hello – I’m listening) Use non-words like “ah-ha – yeah – hmmmmmm – oh. Smile, nod and make eye contact.

4. Supporting Statements: Another way to verbally acknowledge a speaker is to use supporting statements. Examples include “Go on; tell me more, and then what happened?, OMG you’re kidding?

5. Non-Verbal Messages: Remember – We communicate 55% of the time non-verbally. Your body language is speaking volumes and you haven’t said a word. Your non verbal messages must be the same as your verbal messages so that the speaker feels that you are being sincere. People believe the non-verbal messages you send to be more accurate. Your verbal responses should include non-verbal responses such as: body angle and stance, facial expressions, arms, hands, legs and feet. Your body language should appear open and receptive. Put your hands down at your sides not across your chest. Rolling your eyes, yawning, looking around the room, looking down at your watch or tapping on the floor with your toe should be avoided at all costs.

We aren’t born good listeners but we can learn how. Try adding these five skills to your active listening toolbox. You’ll find out everything you need to know about the people you work with and interact with by actively listening. 🙂 – Cheers,

Increase Your Team’s Motivation Five-Fold – Scott Keller 2

Coping with Stress, Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“Dolphins do it, humpback whales do it, even lions, orcas and wolves do it, and of course humans try to do it”. So says Phil Baguley author of “Teams and Team-Working”. Why teams? Do we really accomplish more? Reduce our costs? Or is it just wishful thinking? Teams and work teams make for a great sound bite – but in the real world – your world – do they produce the kinds of results that you want? Or do they create more problems than they’re worth?

I’ll try not to be too cynical here – but you can’t throw people together – call them a team – and have them perform without teaching them what it means to be part of a team – and how to be a good team player. (It’s a learned behaviour) Making teams work is a challenging and difficult process. Nonetheless, you can increase the likelihood that your team will succeed in accomplishing individual and team goals by carefully managing the setting of team goals and priorities, how work team members are selected, trained and compensated. Team goals may vary depending on the role that teams play in your organization. Problem solving teams, self-managed teams, cross functional teams, virtual teams and work teams. Teams can be brought together, based on each team member’s area of expertise, to work on a specific project and once that project is completed the team is disbanded. (Project Managers work in this type of environment and it takes a special set of skills to manage those teams)

“Coming together is a beginning – Keeping together is progress – Working together is success” – Henry Ford. Managers need to understand that they need their people a great deal more than their people need them. You and I both know that there are a number of ways to accomplish a given task. The more that you allow other team members to be involved in the process, the more likely it is – that they’ll be interested in the results. Do you want to know the secret to increasing your team’s motivation five-fold? Reading Scott Keller’s article is a great place to start. Enjoy the read 🙂

Increase Your Team's Motivation Five-Fold – Scott Keller – Harvard Business Review.