Worth Remembering … “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound; rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your goal” – Napoleon Hill. I was not my sons favorite person when his mother and I were going through our divorce. I had a choice to make. The divorce could become adversarial or not. I could be confrontational and drag out the proceedings or I could choose to be open and receptive and negotiate a settlement that we both could live with.
Having a relationship with me son was, and still is, very important to me. My ex-wife will always be my sons mother and my grandchild’s Nanna whether we were married or not. Nothing I do will ever change that. I knew if I wanted a good relationship with my son – I needed to have a good relationship with my ex-wife. So I decided to negotiate a settlement that we both could agree on. It ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m happy to say that my son and I have a great relationship and I consider my ex-wife one of my closest friends. I know I can turn to her for help when ever I need it and she knows she can count on me to be there for her.
Every decision you make is a matter of choice. You may not like your choices – but it is a choice. You can choose to do nothing and see what happens, or you can choose to do something and hopefully end up with what you want. You always have a choice. Your choices define who you are. I know I can’t control everything that goes on around me. I know most outcomes are out of my hands. But I do know that I can control how I choose to react in any given situation. Think about what it is you want and then choose to act in a way that will help you get there.
Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be copied without permission. Are you looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Call me – Let’s talk
You are the captain of your own ship. If you don’t like the direction you’re going, then you have the power to turn your ship around. If you don’t like the direction you’re headed, then you have the power to plot a new course and take action. Because chances are if you keep sailing in the wrong direction, you’ll either end up on the rocks, stranded on a sand bar, or float aimlessly like a vessel without a rudder. Change can be difficult. Change means getting out of your comfort zone. But without change, you can’t move forward. Without change, you most likely can’t even stay where you are because everything around you is changing. And if you don’t keep pace with that change, you will get left behind.
Worth Remembering … “They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” – Andy Warhol
You can change, but you will only change if the will to change is greater than the will to stay where you are. An early model of change developed by Kurt Lewin, universally recognized as the founder of modern social psychology, described change as a three stage process.
- Unfreeze: Stop what you are doing and decide what needs to change. Decide what is getting in your way of you making a change? As Dr. Phil says “You cannot change what you do not acknowledge”.
- Change: Stop doing one thing and start doing another. When you change the behavior you change the result. What you need to do is replace one habit with another. Adults can change if they believe the change will help them accomplish their goals.
- Re-Freeze: Once you have made the change keep doing what you are doing. If you do it long enough it will become part of you. Successful people keep doing what made them successful. Successful people do what others won’t do so be patient, stay focused, and keep on course.
Worth Remembering … “Change what you can – influence what you will – and give up on all those things that you cannot control.”
You can only do what you can do. You can only change you. You’ll have to navigate your ship around the odd rock formation and sail through choppy waters and rough seas. And there will be times when you think you aren’t moving at all, but that’s ok. Keep sailing your ship on the course you’ve set for yourself. That’s what good captains do. Mission possible? Absolutely! You can turn your ship around. 🙂
Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for keynote speaking and presentations on a number of soft-skills topics. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com