Without Trust You Can’t Lead

TrustTrust and respect do not come automatically just because you’ve been given a title or own the business. You must earn both – one person at a time. Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process that you must go through when meeting someone for the very first time. Some will go through this process easier than others, while others will have to work at it. Why establish trust? Because sometimes you need others to take you at your word. They will be more inclined to do that if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe that you have their best interest in mind. Walter Winston may have given us the best reason why establishing trust is so important when he said – “In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake … people in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity”.

Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process, often referred to as the 3 R’s. – Rapport, Relationship and Respect.

Worth Remembering … You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie. 

Rapport: If you want people to be interested in you-you must be interested in them. Get to know the person for more than the job they do. Get to know them on a personal level. Find out what they like to do outside of work. Do they have a hobby? Are they married, do they have children? What do they like to do for fun? To establish rapport you need to show genuine interest in them. You need to be able to carry on a conversation about them.  You stand little chance of developing a relationship without first establishing rapport.

Worth Remembering … What is uttered from the heart alone, will win the hearts of others to your own. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Relationship:  Once you have established a rapport you are ready to take the next step in establishing mutual respect. People quit managers they don’t quit companies. How much fun are you to be around? People like to work with and hang around with people they like. Friends don’t like to let their friends down. If you have built your relationship on a solid foundation by creating a friendly environment to work in then people will want to perform well for you.

Worth Remembering … They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Carl W. Buechner 

Respect: The final step in establishing trust is respect. You will never respect anyone that you haven’t developed a relationship with first. How often have you heard someone say that they didn’t agree with what was said but they respected the fact that they had a right to express their opinion? People who respect one another can agree to disagree and move on. If I respect you – I will trust you even if I don’t agree with you.

Worth Remembering … I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. – Friedrich Nietzsche 

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationships based on mutual respect. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. Trust is important because sometimes you need others to take a leap of faith. Establishing trust is important because sometimes you need people to follow you even when you don’t have all the answers. They will if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe you have their best interest in mind. Without trust you can’t lead.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a Professional Speaker or Seminar Leader who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call – he will work with you one-on-one to ensure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com

Would You Work For You?

judge-with-gavel1Would you work for you? Would you work for a Boss who belittles you, and berates you in front of your co-workers, instead of behind closed doors? Would you work for a Boss who always needs to be right – even when they are wrong.? Would you work for a Boss who promises you something one day – and then takes it away from you the next? Does this sound all too familiar? Chances are we’ve all worked for a Boss just like that. I believe great Bosses aren’t born – they’re made. If given the chance, what kind of Boss would you be? Take a moment and think about that. If you had to put a list together of the top ten things a great Boss should be – what would you put on your list?

I think a great Boss should be:

  1. Patient: Able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or impatient.
  2. Open-minded: Be willing to accept new ideas.
  3. Honest: The quality of being honest.
  4. Empathetic: Show an ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
  5. Flexible: Demonstrate a willingness to change or compromise.
  6. Trustworthy: Have the ability to be relied on, to be honest, or truthful.
  7. Fair: Treat others in a way that is right or reasonable and not allowing personal opinions to influence their judgement.
  8. Consistent: Acting or doing things in the same way over time, especially to be fair or accurate.
  9. Loyal: Give firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or organization.
  10. Compassionate: Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others regardless of their standing or position.

People don’t quit companies – they quit lousy Bosses. Always remember that you get to decide what kind of Boss you want to be. Culture is created from the top down, never the bottom up. Most people, if given a choice, would rather not be the Boss. But everyone gets to decide what kind of Boss they want to follow. Keep that in mind the next time you’re given the opportunity. Be the kind of Boss you’d like to follow. Ask yourself – would you work for you? If the answer is no – then you need to change.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or someone to conduct an in-house training session on soft-skills training or leadership development? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

I’m Guilty As Charged

judge-with-gavel1I should have known better. I have been in the business of managing and leading others in one capacity or another, as a General Manager, College Professor and Management Consultant, for over forty years. In spite of all those years of experience, I committed the number one cardinal sin. I jumped to a conclusion before I had all the facts.  And worse yet, I posted my comment on LinkedIn. The person, who I  offended shall remain nameless, but T.M. knows who he is.  He may not realize it – but the fact that he called me out – reminded me of a valuable lesson that I had obviously forgotten. It’s time for me to step up and do the walk instead of just doing the talk.

Before I act, either verbally or in writing, I am going to step back, take a deep breath and follow these 3 simple rules.

Rule Number One: I am going to assume nothing. I am going to put my brain into gear before I engage my mouth. How often have you said something that you later regretted? How often have you said something that you wish you could take back?

Rule Number Two: I am going to do some research. I am going to take the time to collect all the facts before I act or speak. How often have you made a decision, only to find out it wasn’t the right one because if you knew then, what you know now, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place? How many times has it come around to bite you?

Rule Number Three: I am going to ask myself, how would I feel if someone posted something about me that wasn’t true? Someone who I’ve never met. Someone who didn’t take the time to find out more about me, and what my motives were?

Leaders will make mistakes. All leaders do, and when they do they should own it, apologize for it, learn from it and don’t repeat it. That’s what separates the not-so-good ones from the great ones.  What kind of leader do you want to be?  You get to make a choice, so choose wisely. Others are watching and deciding who they want to follow. If no one is following you, you aren’t leading.

Copyright (c) 2017. Brian Smith – PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a Professional Speaker or Seminar Leader who can deliver a session on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today brian@briansmithpld.com – Visit https://briansmithpld.com to find out what Brian can do for you.

How to Build a Relationship With Just About Anyone

Conflict Resolution 2Practice the 3 R’s – to establish trust and build relationships with the people you work with and interact with. Have you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Yuck – what a dink?”. (I don’t mean Double Income No Kids). There is just something about them that you don’t like. For what ever reason they rub you the wrong way. The truth of the matter is sometimes you have to work with – or interact with – people you don’t like. Even if you don’t like them – you still need to find a way to work with them. I have a solution for you. Think of someone who you work with that for what ever reason, you are having difficulty getting along with them. I want you to try this little experiment and see if it helps repair that relationship or a least make it bearable. I call it the 3 Rs to building relationships and establishing mutual trust with just about everyone and anyone.

Rapport: Start a conversation and find out something about them that you can talk about. What are their hobbies? Do they have children, play sports or read books? What do they love to do in their spare time? You can’t build a relationship with anyone that you haven’t established a rapport with first. Get them talking about themselves or what they love to do, and you are on your way to the next step. You are on your way to likeability.

Relationship: People like to hang around with, and interact with people they like. The more conversations you can have with that person or persons, the more likely it is that you are breaking down those barriers and are becoming more likable. Soft-skills – the ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others is a necessary skill in building relationships. Building a relationship is key to getting along with people – even the ones you don’t like.

Respect:  You don’t respect anyone you haven’t built a relationship with first. Out of a relationship comes mutual respect. You might not agree with everything they have said or done – but because you have built a relationship with them, you will respect the fact that they have a right to their own opinion and a right to live their lives as they see fit. We tend to agree to disagree with people we respect.

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. As friends, parents, managers, leaders, and coaches sometimes you need people to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers and need them to trust you. If you have established mutual respect in your relationships, then they will trust you. They will take that leap of faith knowing that you would never set them up for failure. They’ll know you have their best interest in mind.

Copyright (c) 2017. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com