How to Build a Relationship With Just About Anyone

Conflict Resolution 2Practice the 3 R’s – to establish trust and build relationships with the people you work with and interact with. Have you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Yuck – what a dink?”. (I don’t mean Double Income No Kids). There is just something about them that you don’t like. For what ever reason they rub you the wrong way. The truth of the matter is sometimes you have to work with – or interact with – people you don’t like. Even if you don’t like them – you still need to find a way to work with them. I have a solution for you. Think of someone who you work with that for what ever reason, you are having difficulty getting along with them. I want you to try this little experiment and see if it helps repair that relationship or a least make it bearable. I call it the 3 Rs to building relationships and establishing mutual trust with just about everyone and anyone.

Rapport: Start a conversation and find out something about them that you can talk about. What are their hobbies? Do they have children, play sports or read books? What do they love to do in their spare time? You can’t build a relationship with anyone that you haven’t established a rapport with first. Get them talking about themselves or what they love to do, and you are on your way to the next step. You are on your way to likeability.

Relationship: People like to hang around with, and interact with people they like. The more conversations you can have with that person or persons, the more likely it is that you are breaking down those barriers and are becoming more likable. Soft-skills – the ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others is a necessary skill in building relationships. Building a relationship is key to getting along with people – even the ones you don’t like.

Respect:  You don’t respect anyone you haven’t built a relationship with first. Out of a relationship comes mutual respect. You might not agree with everything they have said or done – but because you have built a relationship with them, you will respect the fact that they have a right to their own opinion and a right to live their lives as they see fit. We tend to agree to disagree with people we respect.

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. As friends, parents, managers, leaders, and coaches sometimes you need people to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers and need them to trust you. If you have established mutual respect in your relationships, then they will trust you. They will take that leap of faith knowing that you would never set them up for failure. They’ll know you have their best interest in mind.

Copyright (c) 2017. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

If They Could See Me Now

Choices 2Who Knew? Who knew that a high school drop out would become an award-winning entrepreneur, college professor, published author and a successful motivational speaker.   Certainly, not me – and likely not most of my friends and family. I was never a very good student. I was the class clown, always going for the laugh. I went to school to play sports, and when they took that away from me because my grades weren’t good enough – I quit – and got a job working retail. It was the sixties, life was easy. I was ok with hanging out in the slow lane, in no particular rush to get anywhere in a hurry. If you asked me back then what I wanted to do with my life I would have told you I wanted to be a musician or truck driver. I still think being a truck driver would be pretty cool.
#WorthRemembering … Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future if you change the here and now
If you aren’t happy with where you are – doing what you are doing – you have the power within you to change it. I truly believe that. For the most part, I am just like you. I don’t have super powers – I don’t have a magic wand to wave. I’m not any smarter than most. The only difference that might set me apart from you, is my desire to succeed at whatever the cost. I’m prepared to do whatever I need to do – to accomplish the goal. I believe that if it is worth doing – it is worth doing to excess. I think I inherited that gene from my Dad. He never did anything half-way.  He never let the lack of a formal education get in the way of achieving what he set out to do.
#WorthRemembering … Think it, Act it, Become it. When you change the habit you’ll change the result
What things are you doing right now that are getting in the way of you doing what you’d rather be doing? What do you need to start doing to get to where you want to be? What are you willing to give up to accomplish what you want to accomplish? If what you’re doing isn’t working for you – then you need to make changes. Wishing and hoping won’t make it so. As Pete Drucker would say “Miracles are great, but they are so hard to come by.” Change is never easy.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is taking a leap of faith. Most people would rather back into the future. Most people aren’t comfortable flying without a net. If you are happy where you are – stay there. If not – it’s time for you to get busy. I guarantee you – you’ll amaze yourself.
Copyright (c) 2017. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced with permission.

If Your Life Sucks It’s Because You Do

Loser 1If you aren’t happy doing with you’re doing, then you need to take a good look in the mirror and realize that the only one getting in your way is you. You need to learn to get out of your own way and live the life you intended. Don’t let shoulda, coulda, woulda be part of your vocabulary. What is getting in the way of you realizing your full potential and accomplishing your goals? I want you to take a moment and write them down. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.

You are the steward of your life. You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you choose the life you lead. It’s a matter of choice – your choice. It is 100% in your control. You choose to be overweight. You choose to be poor. You choose to be miserable. You choose to blame others for your lot in life. When you get knocked down you choose to stay down.

You have the power within you to make a change. You just need to decide what it is you’d like to change for the better? When you change the habit you change the result. Can you create a new habit to get a different result? Replacing old habits with new ones is not easy but it can be done. Just stop doing one thing and start doing another – and if you do it often enough it will become you. You have the capacity within you to make a change. You can learn to act in a way that is going to get you what you want? You just have to decide when you’ve had enough of your old life. Until you get to that point you won’t be motivated enough to make a change. Motivation is inside out never outside in. If your life sucks, it’s because you do.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission.

Do You Know Your Why?

winningThe question to ask yourself isn’t what you do – the question to ask yourself is why you do it. Once you know your why, then all you need to do is have the courage to create your life around it. What really turns your crank? In a perfect world what would you really love to be doing? What would it take for you to develop a career around it? What things need to fall into place for you to live a purposeful life – a life of purpose?

#Worth Remembering … You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose and do it courageously – Steve Maraboli

Not sure what you were meant to be – what you were meant to do? For the next two weeks I want you to write down what you are doing when you catch yourself smiling  for no particular reason. Every time you catch yourself smiling or whistling a song, write down what you where doing at that very moment. After your two weeks are up look over your list. Do you see a pattern? You should be able to connect the dots and see the common denominator. It will reveal what you are truly meant to be doing.

#Worth Remembering … The mystery of human existence lies in not just staying alive, but in finding something to live for – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I truly love what I do. I can’t see myself doing anything else. You have within you the ability to do the same thing. You just need to decide what it is – and then put a plan together to get there. I know I make it sound simple – but it really is. All you need to do is to get out of your own way by believing you can live the life you are intended to live. Wake up every morning with your goal in mind. Do one thing, no matter how small, that is going to move you forward to your goal. Be patient – slow and steady eventually will win the race.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission https://briansmithpld.com