Without Trust You Can’t Lead

TrustTrust and respect do not come automatically just because you’ve been given a title or own the business. You must earn both – one person at a time. Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process that you must go through when meeting someone for the very first time. Some will go through this process easier than others, while others will have to work at it. Why establish trust? Because sometimes you need others to take you at your word. They will be more inclined to do that if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe that you have their best interest in mind. Walter Winston may have given us the best reason why establishing trust is so important when he said – “In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake … people in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity”.

Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process, often referred to as the 3 R’s. – Rapport, Relationship and Respect.

Worth Remembering … You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie. 

Rapport: If you want people to be interested in you-you must be interested in them. Get to know the person for more than the job they do. Get to know them on a personal level. Find out what they like to do outside of work. Do they have a hobby? Are they married, do they have children? What do they like to do for fun? To establish rapport you need to show genuine interest in them. You need to be able to carry on a conversation about them.  You stand little chance of developing a relationship without first establishing rapport.

Worth Remembering … What is uttered from the heart alone, will win the hearts of others to your own. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Relationship:  Once you have established a rapport you are ready to take the next step in establishing mutual respect. People quit managers they don’t quit companies. How much fun are you to be around? People like to work with and hang around with people they like. Friends don’t like to let their friends down. If you have built your relationship on a solid foundation by creating a friendly environment to work in then people will want to perform well for you.

Worth Remembering … They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Carl W. Buechner 

Respect: The final step in establishing trust is respect. You will never respect anyone that you haven’t developed a relationship with first. How often have you heard someone say that they didn’t agree with what was said but they respected the fact that they had a right to express their opinion? People who respect one another can agree to disagree and move on. If I respect you – I will trust you even if I don’t agree with you.

Worth Remembering … I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. – Friedrich Nietzsche 

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationships based on mutual respect. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. Trust is important because sometimes you need others to take a leap of faith. Establishing trust is important because sometimes you need people to follow you even when you don’t have all the answers. They will if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe you have their best interest in mind. Without trust you can’t lead.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a Professional Speaker or Seminar Leader who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call – he will work with you one-on-one to ensure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com

Different Folks Requires Different Strokes

Control Freak 7Yes, I admit it. I was once a control freak! I was an “old school” micro-manager. Trust me – in my 40+ year career as an award-winning entrepreneur and general manager for a major corporation, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. I’m here to confess my number one sin in the hope that first-time supervisors, managers and business leaders will learn what not to do. I also think there’s a lesson here for seasoned veterans who developed their management style in the late 1960’s like I did. Social psychologist Douglas McGregor referred to it as a “Theory X” style of management. Managers who adopted this style believed that workers were inherently lazy and needed to be bullied or brow-beaten into performing their work.  Employees were never to question authority.  “Do as I say – not as I do. When I tell you to jump – the only thing you can ask is how high”. There are still a number of managers and business leaders out there who continue to manage and lead that way. They manage and lead by intimidation. I’m here to tell you the days of the “Bully Boss” are over.

#Worth Remembering …The definition of insanity is doing the same thing – expecting a different result” – Albert Einstein

Times have certainly changed for the better. If I knew then what I know now there is no question I would have managed differently. After reading this article I hope you’ll manage differently too. What you need to decide is – will the management style that got you here – be the same style that will help you be as successful moving forward? I believe we’re not born knowing how to manage or lead others effectively. I believe it’s a learned behaviour. We all start out making certain assumptions, based on our past experiences and perceptions, as to the kind of role we think managers and leaders need to play. But we also know, based on our experiences, that our perceptions may not always be correct and that sometimes we have to change our way of thinking to become better at what we do. Today’s managers and business leaders need to change the way they manage others to stay in step with an ever-changing workforce. Different folks require different stokes. It’s now about inclusion – not exclusion. It’s now about building collaborative teams.

#Worth Remembering … One of the most important things about being a good manager is to rule with a heart. You have to know the business, but you have to know what’s at the heart of a business and that’s people. – Oprah Winfrey

Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking book – “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, might have said it best. “We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other”. Emotional intelligence often referred to as soft-skills now plays a more pivotal role in how we manage and lead others. If you can’t connect on an emotional level with the people you work with and interact with – then you stand little chance of being successful. Productivity and profitability is still the name of the game. That will never change. But how we get there has. People like to work with people they like. And the only way to get people to like you is to work with them in a way that they like. It’s no longer about your technical ability. It’s about your ability to connect with others, communicate, educate and delegate in a style that they like. If you can’t do that then you can’t manage or lead. It’s no longer my way or the highway. It’s about our way. You need to learn to manage and lead the 21st Century way. You need to change because they aren’t going to.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or workshop facilitator who can deliver an entertaining and informative session on a variety of soft skills topics? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

 

Would You Work For You?

judge-with-gavel1Would you work for you? Would you work for a Boss who belittles you, and berates you in front of your co-workers, instead of behind closed doors? Would you work for a Boss who always needs to be right – even when they are wrong.? Would you work for a Boss who promises you something one day – and then takes it away from you the next? Does this sound all too familiar? Chances are we’ve all worked for a Boss just like that. I believe great Bosses aren’t born – they’re made. If given the chance, what kind of Boss would you be? Take a moment and think about that. If you had to put a list together of the top ten things a great Boss should be – what would you put on your list?

I think a great Boss should be:

  1. Patient: Able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or impatient.
  2. Open-minded: Be willing to accept new ideas.
  3. Honest: The quality of being honest.
  4. Empathetic: Show an ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
  5. Flexible: Demonstrate a willingness to change or compromise.
  6. Trustworthy: Have the ability to be relied on, to be honest, or truthful.
  7. Fair: Treat others in a way that is right or reasonable and not allowing personal opinions to influence their judgement.
  8. Consistent: Acting or doing things in the same way over time, especially to be fair or accurate.
  9. Loyal: Give firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or organization.
  10. Compassionate: Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others regardless of their standing or position.

People don’t quit companies – they quit lousy Bosses. Always remember that you get to decide what kind of Boss you want to be. Culture is created from the top down, never the bottom up. Most people, if given a choice, would rather not be the Boss. But everyone gets to decide what kind of Boss they want to follow. Keep that in mind the next time you’re given the opportunity. Be the kind of Boss you’d like to follow. Ask yourself – would you work for you? If the answer is no – then you need to change.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or someone to conduct an in-house training session on soft-skills training or leadership development? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

I’m Guilty As Charged

judge-with-gavel1I should have known better. I have been in the business of managing and leading others in one capacity or another, as a General Manager, College Professor and Management Consultant, for over forty years. In spite of all those years of experience, I committed the number one cardinal sin. I jumped to a conclusion before I had all the facts.  And worse yet, I posted my comment on LinkedIn. The person, who I  offended shall remain nameless, but T.M. knows who he is.  He may not realize it – but the fact that he called me out – reminded me of a valuable lesson that I had obviously forgotten. It’s time for me to step up and do the walk instead of just doing the talk.

Before I act, either verbally or in writing, I am going to step back, take a deep breath and follow these 3 simple rules.

Rule Number One: I am going to assume nothing. I am going to put my brain into gear before I engage my mouth. How often have you said something that you later regretted? How often have you said something that you wish you could take back?

Rule Number Two: I am going to do some research. I am going to take the time to collect all the facts before I act or speak. How often have you made a decision, only to find out it wasn’t the right one because if you knew then, what you know now, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place? How many times has it come around to bite you?

Rule Number Three: I am going to ask myself, how would I feel if someone posted something about me that wasn’t true? Someone who I’ve never met. Someone who didn’t take the time to find out more about me, and what my motives were?

Leaders will make mistakes. All leaders do, and when they do they should own it, apologize for it, learn from it and don’t repeat it. That’s what separates the not-so-good ones from the great ones.  What kind of leader do you want to be?  You get to make a choice, so choose wisely. Others are watching and deciding who they want to follow. If no one is following you, you aren’t leading.

Copyright (c) 2017. Brian Smith – PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a Professional Speaker or Seminar Leader who can deliver a session on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today brian@briansmithpld.com – Visit https://briansmithpld.com to find out what Brian can do for you.