Everyone You Meet is Somebody’s Somebody

secret 5Every Friday night is date night with my 5-year-old grandchild. It’s our time to hang out and do what ever she wants to do. We usually start out at her favorite eatery and end up at the local toy store. I cherish the time we get to spend together. We where enjoying a fun moment when she playfully grabbed my hat and put it on. “Hey Poppa” she said – “I’m you and you are Mr. No Buddy”. It came as a shock to me because I’d never heard her say that before. I knew she was just repeating what she had heard at school. She didn’t realize how hurtful that saying can be.

Children are sponges. They soak up everything they see and hear. They are a reflection of the environment around them. Adults, especially parents, need to be mindful of the lessons they are teaching their children. Children aren’t born bullies. They learn that from others. Children aren’t born haters. They learn that from others. Children aren’t born racists. They learn that from others. You are the greatest influence in your child’s life. They take their lead from you.

What lessons are you teaching your child? Are you teaching them to be tolerant, compassionate and respectful of others?  Do they know what it means to be a good citizen, to be kind to others and lead by example? Do they know that everyone you meet is somebody’s somebody? You have a very important job to do. I hope you are up for the task. The next generation of parents are counting on you.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission.  Brian is available for key note speeches or conducting workshops on a variety of soft-skills topics. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Some Have to Work at It – For Others it Comes Naturally

grumpy ladyHave you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Oh, yuck – What a dink? And I don’t mean double income no kids. You didn’t know why – you just knew there was something about them that you didn’t like. But, after you spent some face time with them, and you got to know them better, did you ever change your mind? Building relationships and establishing mutual respect with the people you work with and interact with, is crucial to your overall success. (Not to mention your sanity).

You have two choices; You can either learn to get along with them – or you can dis-associate yourself from them. If it is someone you have to work with. or interact with. then you’ll have no choice but to learn how to get along with them. You don’t have to socialize with them outside of official company functions and you don’t have to go to the local watering hole after work and buy them their favorite beverage, but you will need to learn how to coexist.

If it is someone in your social circles and it won’t impact your relationship with your other friends. then just walk away.  You get to pick and chose who you want to hang around with. There aren’t any rules that say you have to like everyone.

Three Steps To Establishing Those All Important Relationships

Step One: Establish Rapport – Find out something about them that they like. Do they have a hobby? What do they like to do in their spare time? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they enjoy talking about. Once you get them talking about the things they like – you’ll learn everything you need to know about them to move on to the next step.

Step Two: Develop a Relationship. You can’t develop a relationship with anyone you haven’t established rapport with first. People like to hang around and work with people they like. The more that you interact with them, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to develop a relationship with them. Be patient. This step takes time. Keep at it. Trust me – they will eventually start to open up to you.

Step Three: Build Respect – No one respects anyone that they haven’t developed a relationship with first. Some people will move through this three-step process quicker than others, but it’s a process we all need to go through. If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will have established mutual respect. They may not agree with everything you say or do but they will agree that you have the right to say it. Respect is reciprocal. You get what you give. If you treat someone with respect. eventually you will get it in return.

Try this 3-step process the next time you have to go along with someone to get along. Some have to work at it – for others it comes naturally.  Give it a go – Let me know how it works out.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics?  To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you, your people and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com – You’ll be glad you did.

Pushing Through The Glass Ceiling

shattered glassSuccess and being successful has nothing to do with gender, colour or social status. Success and being successful has everything to do with committment, hard work and a can-do-it-attitude. It’s nice to see that women all over the world are starting to push through the glass ceiling to take their rightful place managing and leading Fortune 500 Companies. Women are now out pacing men in starting small businesses. According to research  conducted by The Centre for Women’s Business – well over 10.1 Million firms in the USA are owned by women – employing more than 13 Million people.

“It may be the Cock that crows, but make no mistake that it’s the Hen who decides when and where to lay the egg” – Margaret Thatcher

Dee Dee Myers – author of “Why Women Should Rule The World” believes that women are more successful at running small businesses because women can make people accountable for their actions but, they can also be there to support them. “Females have that trait, where maybe most men do not”. What women seem to come by naturally is empathy – the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. An important 21st Century skill. Unfortunately most men still have to learn it. Mary Matalin, former counselor to President George W. Bush was quoted as saying – “Women around the World are rewriting history at a ferocious pace with or without mans permission”. It’s easy to argue that men haven’t been doing such a great job of managing things lately.

“Be selfish with your time. Learn to say no to things you do not have an interest in. You are not serving anyone when you spread yourself too thin. Your first obligation should be to yourself. You cannot be any good for someone else unless you are first good to yourself.” – Larry Winget

A very dear and close personal friend of mine likes to remind me now and again that she doesn’t need a man in her life to “complete” her. She’s capable enough to do that all on her own. After all – she’s be operating her own very successful small business now for over 30 years. She knows who she is and she’s not afraid to speak up and ask for what she wants. That’s one of the many qualities I love and admire about her. Men who feel threatened by that are neanderthals, still living in the past. They need to get over themselves and wake up to the realities of a new order of things where women have a seat at the table. It’s great to see that more and more women feel the same way. We are all going to be better for it.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for workshops or keynote speeches on a variety of soft-skills topics. He’ll work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find our more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Heart Trumps Talent Every Time

heart 2The will to win is often more powerful than the talent or skill to win. The difference between those who are successful and those who are not is that successful people never, ever give up. In spite of all the odds against them they persist in following their dream. They understand that every time they failed it moved them one step closer to achieving their goal. They understand that no one achieves anything great by staying where they are. You have to stretch yourself in order to grow. Think it, act it, eventually you’ll become it. No one is born knowing all they need to know to accomplish what they want to accomplish in life. Success and being successful is a learned behaviour. Once you decide on the “what” – the “How” will reveal itself.

Worth Remembering … “The depths and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of customary conditions of life, for only then do they have to fall back on their reserves” – Leon Trotsky 

Attitude isn’t something – attitude is everything! Henry Ford knew all to well that if you think you can – you can. If you think you can’t – you’re right. Attitude is a choice. It’s 100% in your control. Only you get to decide how you want to react to every situation. You can decide to quit or not. It’s your choice. Only you get to decide if you want to put in the effort to achieve your goals or not. It’s your choice. No one can make you give up on your dreams but you. How bad do you want it? What are you willing to do to achieve your goals? There will be sacrifices. What are you willing to give up to move yourself closer to living your dream? Heart – your heart – trumps talent every time. It’s the difference maker.

Worth Remembering … “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedeness or skill. It will make or break a company … church … a  home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is your attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … We are in charge of our Attitudes.” – Charles Swindell 

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or someone to deliver a workshop on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what you can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com – or email: brian@briansmithpld.com