Take Covey’s Advice – It’s 100% in Your Control 3

I know that I can’t control everything that goes on around me. I know most outcomes are out of my hands. But I do know that I can control how I choose to react in any given situation. I know that in that space between stimulus and response that Dr. Covey talked about – and what Dr. Viktor Frankl knew to be true from his own life experiences – that I must learn to react in a way that will get me what I want. Everything you do in life is a matter of choice. You may not like the choices that you have to choose from – but it is a choice.

“If you change the way you look at things. The things you look at will change” – Unknown

Having a relationship with my son was and still is very important to me. (I was not his most favorite person when his mother and I were going through our divorce) But I knew that if I wanted to have a good relationship with my son I had to have a good relationship with his mother. I had a choice to make. The divorce could be adversarial or not. I could choose to be confrontational and drag out the divorce proceedings, or I could choose to be open and receptive and negotiate a settlement that his mother and I could agree on. I knew that if I wanted what I wanted – which was a relationship with my son – then I needed to react in a way that was going to accomplish that. My ex-wife will always be my sons mother and my granddaughters grandmother whether we were married or not. Nothing I could do would ever change that. It is what it is – it would make no never mind.

“Everything can be taken away from man but one thing – to choose – one’s own attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl

I’m happy to say that my ex-wife and I have a great relationship. She is one of my very best friends. I know that I can turn to her for help when I need it and she knows she can count on me if and when she needs my help. (That’s what friends do) That’s a conscious choice I made.

Attitude really is everything. I’m talking about yours, not the people you work with and interact with on a daily basis. If you think about it – your attitude is the only thing you can control 100% of the time. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. Yes it’s true – other people or events may be the motivating factor that got you to react a certain way – but only you can mentally or physically do it. No one else can do it for you. You are the only one who can give that kind of power over you away. Take Covey’s advice. In that space between stimulus and response think about what you want to accomplish and then respond in a way that will get you what you want. Remember – It’s 100% in your control. – Cheers, 🙂

Managing for Results – The Art of Managing & Leading in the 21st Century

What kind of training are you providing your managers and potential leaders? Mark September 11 & 12th down on your calendar and have them attend this high-intensity, very interactive 2-day skills development workshop. You won’t be sorry you did. The traditional role of the manager has changed. New leadership skills are required for the workplace of today and the next decade. Make a commitment. Don’t put their career or your organization at risk – have them learn how to manage the 21st Century way.

Managing for Results – The Art of Managing & Leading in the 21st Century.

Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make – July 18

Contact Convey to register for this “Free” one hour webinar and be eligible for a copy of my book – “Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make & How to Avoid Them”.  Don’t delay – contact Convey today. You’ll be glad you did.

Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make by – July 18, 2012.

It’s Called Delegation for a Reason – Give up Control to Get Control 1

Do you know me? I’m the one who is constantly looking over your shoulder. I lurk in the shadows, waiting for you to slip up so that I can pounce. Still don’t recognize me? My way is always the only way. I need to be in charge and I go out of my way to make sure everyone knows it. If this sounds like you, then perhaps you and I are one and the same: the typical “A” personality? (I’ll let you decide what the “A” stands for). If you haven’t guessed all ready – we’re the micro-manager; the classic control-freak. Trust me – I speak from experience. There’s no question that the control freak style of managing others does get results. But the question you need to ask yourself is “Will this style of managing – which was born out of the 1940’s and 50’s – be the same style that will help you be successful managing in the 21st Century?”

Worth Remembering …

“In the digital age you need to make knowledge workers out of every employee possible” – Bill Gates, Microsoft

I believe one of the keys to good management moving forward will be about “inclusion” not “exclusion”. It will be about including workers in the decision-making process at all levels in the organization. Companies should invert the triangle so that the pointed end is at the bottom and the wider portion – the base of the triangle – is at the top. By inverting the triangle you are acknowledging the people who really make it happen – your workers. (Management think they do – but the rank and file know better) Managing effectively in the 21st Century means that you have to “Give up control – to get control”. To control things – you don’t have to be involved in all things. You physically can’t be in all places – all the time. Decisions need to be made – actions need to be taken – time to react is now – not after you’ve had time to address the situation and decide the course of action. At some point you’ll have to delegate some of your responsiblity to others.

Worth Remembering …

“You establish some objectives for them, provide some incentive, and try not to direct the detailed way in which they do their work.” – David Packard, HP

It’s critical to your success that you show trust and confidence in your people. The best way to do that is to get out of their way and let them do it their way. Don’t get too hung up on how your people go about doing it. Yes, you can give them some pointers here and there, but keep in mind that most people like to put their own stamp on things. Don’t be a micro-manager. You didn’t like it when someone was looking over your shoulder – watching your every move – second guessing every decision you made – so don’t do the same thing to them.

The next time you have an opportunity to give up some of your control try these five easy steps to effective delegation:

1. Decide what you want to delegate: You need to be very clear on what task you are going to delegate and make sure they have all the tools they’ll need to complete it.

2. Decide who you are going to delegate the task to: Who on your team do you believe is capable of completing the task and achieving the desired results?

3. Create a teachable moment: Demonstrate the task – have them perform the task while you observe – and once you are satisfied that they can perform the task – get out of their way and let them do it on their own without you looking over their shoulder.

4. Monitor their performance: Follow-up, follow-up, follow-up. Make it a point to check-in on them once in a while to make sure they are still achieving the desired result. Be there to answer any questions or address any concerns that they may have. People do what you inspect not what you expect. Keep the lines of communication open.

5. Praise performance often: Recognize what has been accomplished and be quick to offer praise for a job well done. When you praise someone for a job well done – be sure to keep your “but” out of it. If you want to tweak what they are doing ever so slightly then replace the “but” with “and”. John I love how you did that – it looks great – AND the next time you do it try doing this and see what you think.

If you don’t delegate some of your duties and responsibilities you won’t have the time to step back and think about where you, your department and or the organization needs to be and how you are going to get there. If you don’t
trust your people to do a job on their own, then why did you hire them in the first place? 🙂 Cheers,