Things Won’t Get Better Until You Do 6

Delegate 2We all feel overwhelmed at times. We all feel tired and can’t seem to find the willpower to carry on. We all have self-doubt, feel unappreciated and wonder why we keep doing what we do. But what separates each and every one of us – is the strength we find within ourselves to get up off the floor and get back in this game we call life. Mind you some are better at it than others. And some decide to give it up all together and walk away. And that’s OK. It just means they haven’t figured out yet what they want to do with the opportunities they’ve been given. They are still searching for meaning in their lives. I believe we all have the capacity within ourselves to lead the kind of life we envisioned for ourselves. We all have the ability to change – to develop the kind of skills we need to be better at what we do.

Worth Remembering … “When you’re up to your neck in alligators it’s easy to forget that the initial objective was to drain the swamp”  – Unknown

The question is – Are you willing to make the kinds of changes you’ll need to be more effective at what you are doing? Are you willing to make the kind of changes needed to learn how to communicate and listen more effectively, get along with others, manage your time or cope with stress?  I believe we are all born a certain style which subconsciously dictates the way we act and react to what’s going on around us. We need to learn to react in a way that is going to get us what we want.  How does a good communicator and listener act? What changes will you need to make to manage your time more effectively, to get along with others or cope with stress?

Worth Remembering … “Between stimulus and response is our greatest power – the freedom to choose.”  – Stephen R. Covey 

There are two things I know for certain about people. Motivation is inside out never outside in. People are motivated to change if they believe there is a payoff. They are motivated to make a change in their lives if they believe it is worth while. It’s what I call a WIIFM. (What’s in it for me). And the second thing I know for certain about people is that they get to decide how they want to react to any given situation. It’s a choice only they get to choose 100% of the time. No one else has the power over them to make them do something they don’t want to do. Now it’s true that we may not like the choices we have to choose from – but it’s a choice none the less.

Worth Remembering … “If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not – you’ll find an excuse” – Unknown 

If you are feeling overwhelmed what changes do you need to make? Do you need to have a shorter to do list? Do you need to learn how to prioritize and manage your time more effectively? If you are feeling tired what changes do you need to make? Do you need to take more “Me” time to recharge your batteries to cope with the stress in your life? Do you need to learn how to say “No” to others so you can say “Yes” to yourself? If you have self-doubts, feel unappreciated and wonder why you keep doing what you’re doing what changes do you need to make? We are adults and adults can change. We can stop doing one thing and start doing another. And if we do it often enough it becomes us. When you change the habit you change the result. You can learn to act in a way that will get you what you want. You just have to decide what that is. Things won’t get better until you do.

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker? Planning a leadership development session or workshop on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

Mission Possible? You Can Turn Your Ship Around 9

Change-GraphicYou are the captain of your own ship. If you don’t like the direction you’re going, then you have the power to turn your ship around. If you don’t like the direction you’re headed, then you have the power to plot a new course and take action. Because chances are if you keep sailing in the wrong direction, you’ll either end up on the rocks, stranded on a sand bar, or float aimlessly like a vessel without a rudder. Change can be difficult. Change means getting out of your comfort zone. But without change, you can’t move forward. Without change, you most likely can’t even stay where you are because everything around you is changing. And if you don’t keep pace with that change, you will get left behind.

Worth Remembering …  “They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” – Andy Warhol

You can change, but you will only change if the will to change is greater than the will to stay where you are. An early model of change developed by Kurt Lewin, universally recognized as the founder of modern social psychology, described change as a three stage process.

  1. Unfreeze: Stop what you are doing and decide what needs to change. Decide what is getting in your way of you making a change? As Dr. Phil says “You cannot change what you do not acknowledge”.
  2. Change: Stop doing one thing and start doing another. When you change the behavior you change the result. What you need to do is replace one habit with another. Adults can change if they believe the change will help them accomplish their goals.
  3. Re-Freeze: Once you have made the change keep doing what you are doing. If you do it long enough it will become part of you. Successful people keep doing what made them successful. Successful people do what others won’t do so be patient, stay focused, and keep on course.

Worth Remembering … “Change what you can – influence what you will – and give up on all those things that you cannot control.”

You can only do what you can do. You can only change you. You’ll have to navigate your ship around the odd rock formation and sail through choppy waters and rough seas. And there will be times when you think you aren’t moving at all, but that’s ok. Keep sailing your ship on the course you’ve set for yourself. That’s what good captains do. Mission possible? Absolutely! You can turn your ship around. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for keynote speaking and presentations on a number of soft-skills topics. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Life Lessons – How to Get The Life You Want 11

1475825_10202358184503139_292663748_nI’d like you to take out a blank piece of paper and write down the first thing that comes to mind. “In a perfect world, your world, what would you rather be doing then what you are doing right now?” Don’t over think it – just write down the first thing that popped into your head. Now I know there is no such thing as a perfect world – nothing is perfect – but I think we can get close to it by doing those things that we are meant to do. And we are meant to do those things that make us happy. What is getting in the way of you doing what you’d rather be doing? Life – your life, is a planned event. Wishing and hoping won’t make it so.

If you aren’t excited about what you are doing – excited to the point that you can hardly wait to get up in the morning and get at it  – then it’s time for you to choose an alternative career. If you aren’t excited about what you are doing then it’s time you gave some serious thought to how you are going to get to where you’d rather be. It’s time you gave some serious thought to what you need to do to get the life you want.

Worth Remembering … “A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step” – Lao-tzu

First things first. Take a moment and list all the things that need to fall into place for you to accomplish what you are wanting to do. What pieces of the puzzle need to fit together so that you can accomplish your goals? Look over your list and prioritize what needs to happen and when. (I must do A, then B and move on to C, etc.) Congratulations! You now have a game plan.  You now know what you need to do to get the life you want. The only thing left for you to do is to start working your plan. I know it sounds simple – and some times it’s easier said then done. But if you have the strength of your convictions and believe in yourself – you will succeed. The only thing getting in your way is you.

Worth Remembering …. “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have discovered 10,000 ways that do not work” – Thomas Edison

Always keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect plan. Trust me – there will be road blocks, detours and traffic jams along the way. We all experience those. However, DO NOT let that stop you. Stay focused, stay committed to completing the journey you’ve started. If you have to adjust your plan or tweak it here and there along the way – so be it.  Stay strong. You will succeed. You will realize your full potential. YOU WILL cross the finish line. And most importantly, you will have the life you want. Now get to work. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for keynote speaking or for delivering a seminar on a variety of soft-skills topics. To find out more about Brian and what you can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Without a Rudder Any Direction Will Do

images (6)It doesn’t matter how much wind you have in your sails, without a rudder, you stand little chance of ending up where you wanted to go. Life is a planned event – wishing and hoping won’t make it so. Hedge your bet for success and make a list of what needs to happen for you to accomplish your goals. We have a tendency sometimes to do what we like to do first – not what needs to be done, so prioritize the items on your list and the expected date of completion for each one to help keep you on course.

Don’t let yourself get discouraged or side tracked, keep your eye on the “prize” and remember why you are doing what you are doing. Think of all the good things that will come your way. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed with the number of things you need to do before you arrive at your destination. Be patient, take one step at a time, accomplish one thing at a time and you will eventually realize your dream.

Be Confident: Be confident in your own ability to accomplish what ever you set out to do. Be confident that no matter what roadblocks you come across you will find a way around them or over them.

Be Competent: Know what you know but, more importantly, know what you don’t know. You aren’t born knowing all you need to know. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is a sign of strength. No one ever accomplished great things alone.

Use Common Sense: The only thing common about common sense is that it’s not very common. Common sense should be called life sense. It just seems to me that the older we get – the smarter we get. Learn from your mistakes. And trust me, you’re going to make mistakes. Look at mistakes as your opportunity to grow, as your opportunity to try again but this time  more aware of what not to do. Remember that failing and falling down is not the issue. Not getting back up and trying again is.

So adjust your sails, take a look at your map and keep your rudder pointed in the direction of your goals. And most importantly, enjoy the journey. I wish you good sailing. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith-PLD. Looking for a speaker, planning a lunch-n-learn or training session? Visit http://briansmithpld.com. Let’s talk.