Tag Archives: self-confidence

Nobody’s Perfect – So Get Over Yourself 1

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , ,

Sorry if I’m the one to burst your bubble but, nobody is perfect. Not even you. You don’t need to handicap yourself by carrying around that kind of burden. Aim for the bull’s-eye? Absolutely. Strive for perfection? Yes – always – but understand that some times you can’t attain the unattainable. Sometimes you are going to fall short and miss the target. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Learn to accept that. You can take pride in the fact that you did your very best – that you gave it your all. And if you truly gave it your all, than you have no more to give. Learn to accept what is – is – short comings and all. Chances are you’ll live longer and enjoy the simpler things that life has to offer.

Worth Remembering … An environment that calls for perfection is not likely to be easy. But aiming for it is always good progress – Thomas J. Watson Jr.

According to Psychologists people move in the direction that is opposite to the direction they want to avoid. In other words, perfectionists strive for perfection because they don’t feel perfect. Because they somehow feel inferior to other people in certain situations so they try to overcome their perceived short comings. In the long run constantly striving for perfection  can destroy your self-confidence.

Worth Remembering … Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence – Vince Lombardi

You are good enough. You don’t have to prove it to others. Perfection is highly overrated.  Good enough is good enough. If you did everything you could have to reach your goal, then that has to be good enough. Perfectionists are setting themselves up for failure. It is a self-fulling prophecy. They will always end up feeling disappointed in themselves when they fail to become perfect. Remember – Nobody’s perfect, so get over yourself.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker, organizing a seminar or training session? Give Brian a call. http://briansmithpld.com

Never Let a Good Crises Go To Waste 2

Leadership Development, Personal Development • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Trust 2“I have not failed 10, 000 times. I have discovered 10,000 ways that do not work”. I love that quote by Thomas Edison. If Thomas had let his first fail defeat him I’d be writing this blog post by candle light. Great leaders never let a good crises go to waste. Like Thomas, they learn from it so they don’t make the same mistake twice. Every negative is a positive – because every negative gives you the opportunity to grow. You just have to be willing to look for the lessons, make the necessary adjustments, and try again. And keep on trying until you succeed!

Nothing is ever going to go exactly according to plan. You have to learn how to deal with rejection and dejection because they are both part of the process.  You have to suck it up, rub the “L” off your forehead, and move on.  That’s what great champions do. All winners where losers at one time or another. But they dealt with those defeats and persevered. And you can do the same thing. You just have to believe in yourself and be willing to do what ever it takes to overcome any obstacle that is put in your way.  You CAN do this. You have all the makings of a champions heart.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a speaker who can deliver on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian – he will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

Stop The Madness – You Are Producing a Generation of Wimps 9

Competitive Advantage, Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Personal Development, Personal Values • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Stop the MadnessStop the madness!!! You are producing a generation of wimps. Too much of a good thing – is not a good thing. In the “real” world not everyone gets to make the team, regardless of their skill level. In the “real” world they won’t be praised or promoted for being just good enough. And in the “real” world they may not get a second chance to make the wrong thing right, without paying the price for being wrong in the first place. In the “real” world there are consequences.

You are doing this newest generation a dis-service by not preparing them for life “outside” of the nest. The world can be a cruel place for someone who hasn’t been taught the skills needed to take on life’s challenges. The world can be a cruel place for someone who hasn’t been knocked down because they never learn how to get back up. The world can be a cruel place for someone who rarely heard the word “NO” while growing up.

Worth Remembering … “The depths and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of customary conditions of their life, for only then do they have to fall back of their reserves.” – Leon Trotsky

Tough love, applied at the right time – for the right reasons – is not a bad thing.  Tough love teaches you that life is not always fair. That you don’t get everything that you ask for. That bad things can happen to good people. Tough love teaches you to stand up on your own two feet and compete for what you want. Tough love teaches you that “You aren’t in Kansas anymore”. Tough love builds character, self-confidence and self-esteem.

Worth Remembering … “There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people.” – Thomas Jefferson

You can still be someones soft place to fall – just don’t make it too comfortable. When you eliminate honor rolls or deans list in schools because you don’t want to make those who just want to skate by feel inferior – you take away the incentive for the achievers who want to excel. You can’t build up someones self-worth by taking away someone else’s. When you no longer keep score because you don’t want the other team to “feel” discouraged – you take away a persons competitive spirit. If you don’t teach them the value of money, what it means to be independent and the feeling they’ll get from making it on their own – you are robbing them of their opportunity to grow. Stop the madness!!! You are producing a generation of wimps.

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker? Planing a lunch-n-learn or training seminar? Contact Brian. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you, your organization and your people visit http://briansmithpld.com 

Positive Self-Talk is More Than a Sound Bite

Personal Development • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

self-confidenceThink it, Act it, Become it. Perception is reality – your reality. It is what ever you think it is which is why positive self-talk (what you say to yourself), is more than a sound bite. Your self-talk has the power to move you to action – or in action.  We all feel insecure and unsure of ourselves at times. We all lack self-confidence, especially if we are attempting to do something we’ve never done before. But, you must not let your self-doubt get in the way of you stepping out of your comfort zone and expanding your growth zone.  We must not let fear of failing get in the way of the attempt.

Worth Remembering … “Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence.” – Seneca

World class athletes, just like world-class actors visualize a gold medal, Oscar-winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their mind’s eye what their performance will look like. They see themselves in the winners circle. And then they go out and replay that winning performance in real-time. You need to see yourself as the hero in your own movie.  Think it, Act it, Become it. The more you do it – the more you will become it. Being successful in any endeavor is a learned behavior. When you change the behavior you change the result.

Worth Remembering … “Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks on a great and honorable course with a sure hope and trust in self.” – Cicero

Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your self-confidence. Pick one or two and give them a go. You just may end up surprising yourself.  Failing in your first attempt is never the issue. Not giving it another try is.

  • Focus on your achievements rather than your failures: Nobody is perfect but everyone has the capacity to grow and get better. Focus on what you did well and what you are going to do better on your next attempt. Progress happens in baby steps not gigantic leaps. 
  • Focus on your good qualities: Stick with what you do well and reach out to others when you get stuck. There is no sham in admitting that you need help. Have a short list of mentors and coaches that you can call on for words of encouragement or advice when needed. 
  • Be prepared for the task at hand: Nothing beats thinking and planning it out. You can’t be prepared for everything but you should be able to anticipate what could go wrong and decide ahead of time what you are going to do to overcome them. 
  • Set reachable goals for yourself: Don’t set yourself up for failure – set SMART targets. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely) Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time. 
  • Reward yourself when you succeed: No victory is too small. You have every right to be proud of yourself and what you’ve accomplished. Do something nice for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it. 

Remember – We are not born knowing what we need to know to do all that we want to do. Success and being successful is a learned behavior. Successful people have learned to get out of their own way. You can do the same thing. You just need to believe in yourself. Now get out there and give it a go. 🙂

Copyright (c) Brian Smith. Not to be reproduced without permission. Looking for a keynote speaker, planning a lunch-n-learn or workshop on a variety of soft-skills topics or leadership development? Give Brian a call. http://briansmithpld.com