Category Archives: Uncategorized

Death is Fatal But Never Final

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optimisticMy Dad passed away on November 17 – 2012. Just six days after we celebrated Remembrance Day in his hospital room. My Dad, like so many others of his generation, was a veteran of the Second World War. He taught me the value of hard work and applying yourself. He always made the best with what he had, always striving for something more. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I know his spirit lives on. He’s watching over me and helping to guide me. I like to think that we’ll meet again some day when my time comes. I don’t know that for certain, no one really does, but I’m hopeful just-the-same.

We all have someone in our lives who have passed away all to soon. I was reminded of that the other day when I got the news that a very close and dear friend of mine has stage two lung cancer. She’s beat cancer twice now – and I’m optimistic that she’ll beat it for a third time. Unfortunately the odds aren’t in her favor. She’s getting on in years now and each fight gets more difficult for her to win. Her Doctor feels that surgery will be too evasive and suggested radiation and chemotherapy. She’s leaning towards taking the treatment, but  hasn’t decided yet what she’s going to do.

She’s earned the right to do what ever she thinks is right for her. I believe we all should have that right. The right to leave on our own terms. I know my Dad left on his. Whatever she decides to do I wanted her to know that I’m thinking of her. That I love her – That she made a difference in my life. Her spirit will live on through me and others she has touched. She will never be forgotten. What kind of legacy will you leave behind? What would you like people to say about you when you pass on? Death is fatal, but never final. Make your life memorable.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Management expert, author and speaker specializing in soft-skills training and leadership development. Looking for a speaker? Planning a lunch-n-learn or seminar? Call me – let’s talk. http://briansmithpld.com

When One Door Closes – Another One Opens 5

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13251_10153060318710301_12548721_n“When one door closes another door opens”. I was reminded of that famous Alexander Graham Bell quote on more than one occasion this past week. I got the chance to meet up with  two very special and gifted musical  friends of mine, that I haven’t seen in over 30 years. I’m the one in the middle. I had a full head of curly brown hair back then. Bob Dylan would have been proud of my afro. Once we started reminiscing about the “good-old-days”, the years and the distances between us quickly vanished, and it was 1972 all over again. You can just imagine the three of us enjoying a meal together and adding bits and pieces to each others stories, trying to connect the dots.

The years have been kind to us, not so kind to some of our friends. The truth of the matter is you just never know what’s waiting for you around the corner. Some things are predictable, while other things just seem to happen. Hindsight is always 20 / 20. The one thing I have come to know for certain is that life truly is a journey, not a destination. It’s organic – it evolves. Everyone’s crystal ball is a little fuzzy. You just never know where you’re going to end up. There is no way that I would ever have predicted I’d be a published author, professional speaker and college professor. Chances are my friends and family wouldn’t have predicted it either. Back in 72 I thought I was destined to end up on the front cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

If you find yourself in a situation where  the door has closed, don’t waste too much time regretting the past. That chapter of your life’s story is behind you. If you spend too much time looking back, you may miss the door that is about to open in front of you. Walk through it with confidence. Take a leap of faith, believing that an infinite number of opportunities are waiting for you on the other side. I believe that everything in life happens to us for a reason. It’ may not be obvious at the time we are going thought it, but there is usually a pretty good reason for it. Your past is not a predictor of your future if you are prepared to change the here and now. Take the time to reflect on your past misses, learn the lessons, and move forward.  And above all other things, enjoy the journey. 🙂

This article is dedicated to John Wiebe, Dan Unger and Cheryl Harnett Hynes. Copyright 2013 (C) Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission. http://briansmithpld.com 

If I Knew Then What I Know Now Would Things Be Different

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If someone had told me 30 years ago that I would own my own business someday  – get married – have a son – and then lose my first business – get divorced – almost lose a relationship with my son – become a college professor – start another business – be a published author – and speak and write for a living – I would have thought they where crazy – or at least delusional at best. Hind sight is 20/20 – as Steve Jobs suggests – it’s much easier to connect the dots looking back then it is looking forward. Would it have made a difference if I knew then what I know now? Not sure. However, I do know that I wouldn’t be the same person I am today because I wouldn’t have had the same life experiences. Experience is the best teacher. Having been there – done that – you learn what to do – and most importantly – what not to do the next time.

Worth Remembering … `Your present circumstances don`t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start`- Nibo Qubein

Failing builds character.  If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying hard enough. If you aren’t failing you aren’t stretching – growing or moving forward. If you aren’t failing you’re robbing yourself of your opportunity to become the person you were meant to be. To become the person you want to be. One thing I know for certain is that you get to write your own script. Only you get to decide where you want to end up. Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future if you are determined to change the here and now. You get to write your books final chapter.

If you are feeling stuck – then get unstuck. Decide what you want out of life and then put a plan together to achieve it. Life – your life – is a planned event – wishing and hoping won’t make it so. I know I’m making it sound pretty simple. But most things are simple – we just make them complicated. Self-doubt can do that. Self-doubt can paralyze you. Self-doubt can make you settle for less than what you are entitled to. If you don’t believe in yourself – then no one else will. You just need to learn how to get out of your own way.

Worth Remembering … `Life isn`t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself`- George Bernard Shaw

Take George`s advice and continue to press on. Getting knocked down isn`t the problem – not getting back up is. Shoulda, woulda, coulda – should not be part of your vocabulary. Take a leap of faith. Go where the path wants to lead you. Listen to your gut. I`m a great believer in fate. Everything in life that happens to you happens for a reason. You  may not know why at the time you are going through it – but none the less – it`s a lesson you needed to learn – so you might as well accept it – learn from it – and continue to move forward.  Life – your life – really is what you make of it. Enjoy the adventure. You never know what life has in store for you until you give it a go. – Cheers 🙂

Hey Coach Put Me In The Game 8

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images (33)What could a coach do for you that you can’t do for yourself? The truth is sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know – until you know that you don’t know it.  Sometimes it takes a coach to point out the not-so-obvious. You know where you want to go – but it may take a coach to teach you the skills you’ll need to get you there. You may need the help of a coach to get you to the next level. You only know what you know – it’s what you don’t know that can hold you back or better yet – propel you forward. The most talented of musicians, athletes and actors can attest to that. Even Tiger Woods works with a coach to help him stay at the top of his game.

Worth Remembering …

“In order to be a teacher you’ve got to be a student first” – Gary L. Francione

All Coaches are not created equal  

Think of a Coach that you admire. What is it about their style that resonates with you? Bobby Knight, Coach K and Scotty Bowman have all had success as coaches.  Yet all three went about it differently. What style of coaching would work best for you? Someone who’s been there and done that so they know what they are talking about? A good communicator and listener. Someone who understands you – your strengths and your weaknesses. A coach who won’t tell you what  you want to hear but will tell you what needs to be said.  Someone who is patient when they need to be yet unforgiving when the situation warrants it.   A disciplinarian – a teacher, guidance councilor, cheer leader and mentor all rolled into one. A Coach who will push you to reach higher and go farther than you thought you could.

Worth Remembering …

“If you want something you’ve never had – then you need to do something you’ve never done.” – Drina Reed

A Coach can’t do the work for you 

There are no silver bullets here. A coach can’t do the work for you. You still have to play the game. You still have to put in the time and effort it will take to get you to where you want to go.  A coach can show you the way – but you still have to walk the path. When you come to a fork in the road they can steer you in the right direction. If you are mentally and physically capable of taking the next step – then the only person standing in your way is you. Motivation is inside out – never outside in.  A coach is not there to be your best friend. They are there to help you get up off the mat and begin again. A coach is there to help up fill in the gaps and teach you what you need to know.  So go out and find a coach you can work with – one who can help you get in the game. – Cheers 🙂

 Copyright 2013 (c) |Brian Smith -Author, Communications Expert and Management Consultant works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively; and who want to discover how to get the best out of themselves and others.  To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you or your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com