If someone had told me 30 years ago that I would own my own business someday – get married – have a son – and then lose my first business – get divorced – almost lose a relationship with my son – become a college professor – start another business – be a published author – and speak and write for a living – I would have thought they where crazy – or at least delusional at best. Hind sight is 20/20 – as Steve Jobs suggests – it’s much easier to connect the dots looking back then it is looking forward. Would it have made a difference if I knew then what I know now? Not sure. However, I do know that I wouldn’t be the same person I am today because I wouldn’t have had the same life experiences. Experience is the best teacher. Having been there – done that – you learn what to do – and most importantly – what not to do the next time.
Worth Remembering … `Your present circumstances don`t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start`- Nibo Qubein
Failing builds character. If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying hard enough. If you aren’t failing you aren’t stretching – growing or moving forward. If you aren’t failing you’re robbing yourself of your opportunity to become the person you were meant to be. To become the person you want to be. One thing I know for certain is that you get to write your own script. Only you get to decide where you want to end up. Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future if you are determined to change the here and now. You get to write your books final chapter.
If you are feeling stuck – then get unstuck. Decide what you want out of life and then put a plan together to achieve it. Life – your life – is a planned event – wishing and hoping won’t make it so. I know I’m making it sound pretty simple. But most things are simple – we just make them complicated. Self-doubt can do that. Self-doubt can paralyze you. Self-doubt can make you settle for less than what you are entitled to. If you don’t believe in yourself – then no one else will. You just need to learn how to get out of your own way.
Worth Remembering … `Life isn`t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself`- George Bernard Shaw
Take George`s advice and continue to press on. Getting knocked down isn`t the problem – not getting back up is. Shoulda, woulda, coulda – should not be part of your vocabulary. Take a leap of faith. Go where the path wants to lead you. Listen to your gut. I`m a great believer in fate. Everything in life that happens to you happens for a reason. You may not know why at the time you are going through it – but none the less – it`s a lesson you needed to learn – so you might as well accept it – learn from it – and continue to move forward. Life – your life – really is what you make of it. Enjoy the adventure. You never know what life has in store for you until you give it a go. – Cheers 🙂
Life’s a circle. You get back what ever you put out. Attitude – your attitude is everything – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can – or can’t – you’re right. The difference between those who accomplish what they set out to do – and those who don’t – are those who have an unshakeable belief in themselves. They truly believe they will achieve what ever they set out to do. They don’t let self-doubt creep in and sabotage themselves.
Worth Remembering … “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams and endeavors to live the life that they imagined, they will meet with success unexpected in common hours” – Henry David Thoreau
I’m not going to get too deep here – but your internal dialogue (what you say to yourself) has everything to do with how you see yourself. We all feel insecure and unsure of ourselves at times. We all have self-doubt – especially if we are attempting to do something for the very first time. Don’t let failure get in the way of you taking that first step. Self-doubt translates into a lack of confidence – which causes us to think negative thoughts – which in turn causes us to hold back and give up easily rather than face tough challenges. Have enough confidence in yourself – and your abilities – that you can accomplished anything you set out to do.
Worth Remembering … “Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence.” – Seneca.
World class athletes, just like world-class actors visualize a gold medal – Oscar-winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their mind’s eye what their performance will look like. They see themselves being successful. They see themselves as winners not whiners. You need to start acting like a winner. The more you do it – the more you will become it. (Think it, act it, become it) The better people think they are, the better they will be.
Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your self-confidence:
- Look for a role model or a mentor: What do they do that makes them appear confident? Act like they act and you’ll eventually begin to act like they act. When you change the habit – you change the result.
- Focus on your achievements not your failures: Focus on what you did well – and what you are going to improve upon the next time. We can all improve. Failure is not fatal. Not getting back up and trying again is.
- Be prepared for any task: Nothing beats thinking and planning it out. You can’t be prepared for everything but you should be able to predict the kinds of things that could go wrong and what you’ll do if it happens.
- Expect the unexpected: Remember nothing – and I mean nothing – ever goes exactly as planned. You need to learn to go with the flow and have confidence in your own ability to deal with what ever gets thrown your way.
Remember – You are what you think and do.
Dr. Nathaniel Branden – a Lecturer and practicing psychotherapists who has done more that any other theorist to advocate the importance of self-esteem to human well-being – and author of “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” believes that the value of self-esteem lies not merely in the fact that it allows us to feel better but that it allows us to live better – to respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully and more appropriately. Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important as the one we pass on ourselves. 🙂
Copyright 2012. Brian Smith. Excerpts for this article were taken from Brian’s soon-to-be published book self-help book “Get-A-Grip – Wishing and Hoping Won’t Make it Happen”