Category Archives: Leadership Development

Nobody’s Perfect – So Get Over Yourself 1

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , ,

Sorry if I’m the one to burst your bubble but, nobody is perfect. Not even you. You don’t need to handicap yourself by carrying around that kind of burden. Aim for the bull’s-eye? Absolutely. Strive for perfection? Yes – always – but understand that some times you can’t attain the unattainable. Sometimes you are going to fall short and miss the target. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Learn to accept that. You can take pride in the fact that you did your very best – that you gave it your all. And if you truly gave it your all, than you have no more to give. Learn to accept what is – is – short comings and all. Chances are you’ll live longer and enjoy the simpler things that life has to offer.

Worth Remembering … An environment that calls for perfection is not likely to be easy. But aiming for it is always good progress – Thomas J. Watson Jr.

According to Psychologists people move in the direction that is opposite to the direction they want to avoid. In other words, perfectionists strive for perfection because they don’t feel perfect. Because they somehow feel inferior to other people in certain situations so they try to overcome their perceived short comings. In the long run constantly striving for perfection  can destroy your self-confidence.

Worth Remembering … Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence – Vince Lombardi

You are good enough. You don’t have to prove it to others. Perfection is highly overrated.  Good enough is good enough. If you did everything you could have to reach your goal, then that has to be good enough. Perfectionists are setting themselves up for failure. It is a self-fulling prophecy. They will always end up feeling disappointed in themselves when they fail to become perfect. Remember – Nobody’s perfect, so get over yourself.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker, organizing a seminar or training session? Give Brian a call. http://briansmithpld.com

On Your Mark – Get Ready – Set – Now Go

Leadership Development, New Year's Resolutions, Personal Development, Planning, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , ,

2016 - 3It’s that time of year again when we look back on the year that was and direct our attention to the year ahead. Instead of making resolutions the way you’ve always done – try something different this year. Write down 3 action words that will help you focus on your goals. Every action you take this year should be a reflection of what you want to accomplish. If they aren’t – then don’t do it. Resolutions won’t work unless you do. Your life is a planned event. Put a plan together and then work your plan.

Once you decide what you want to accomplish, you need to develop the how. Last year I wanted to improve my golf swing so I took some golf lessons and managed to take 15 strokes off my average score. I wanted to spend more time with my family and friends so I took some vacation time – rare for me because I’m a workaholic. The last thing I wanted to accomplish in 2015 was to expand my circle of influence so I spent one hour a day developing and executing a social media strategy on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and Google +. I accomplished all 3 in 2015 because I had a game plan and stuck to my plan.

My action words for 2016 are Health, Speaking and Finance. What 3 things would you like to accomplish in 2016? What 3 action words will help you stay focused and accomplish those 3 things that are most important to you? What 3 action words will give you the best return on your time investment? You only have 168 hours in the course of a week. No more or no less. Those who accomplish the things in life that are most important to them have learned to invest their time wisely. Spending your precious time on things that won’t get you closer to accomplishing your goals in 2016 is a total waste of your time. Any time is the right time to start a new beginning. On your mark – get ready – set – now go!!! – Make 2016 your best year yet.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you or someone you know looking for a keynote speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Visit http://briansmithpld.com

If You Aren’t Failing You Aren’t Trying Hard Enough 1

Leadership Development, New Year's Resolutions, Personal Development, Planning, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , ,

bulls eye 2“A good goal is like a strenuous exercise – it suppose to make you stretch” – Mary Kay. Personal growth happens just outside your comfort zone. When was the last time you tried something you’ve never done before? Are you guilty of letting your fear of failing  hold you back? Setting and achieving your goals doesn’t happen by chance – it should be a planned event. If you are mentally and physically capable of accomplishing what you set out to do – then the only thing stopping you is you. There will be roadblocks, detours, and highways under construction along the way, but if you don’t lose sight of where you want to end up, you’ll get there.

Here are some basic guidelines on goal setting and performance improvement. Remember that a good goal starts with the end in mind. Once you decide what it is you want to accomplish put a step-by-step plan together to get there.  Think of your plan as creating a SMART Target and aim for the bull’s-eye.

S – Specific: Write down what you want to accomplish. Don’t generalize. You’ve got to name it to claim it. If you want to lose weight – how much weight do you want to lose? If you want to save some money – how much money do you want to save? If you want to improve your golf game – how many strokes do you want to shave off your average score?

M – Measurable: You’ve got to be able to measure your progress. Break your goal down into bite size pieces. Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time. What results do you want to see in a week, month or year? If you can’t measure it then don’t do it. Because if you can’t measure it you won’t know if you are working the right plan.

A – Attainable: Don’t set yourself up for failure. Don’t commit to completing a task in 20 minutes if you think it might take you 40? If you do that you’re beat before you start. You need to believe that the target can be reached  – that you aren’t just wasting your time.

R – Realistic: To try to lose 20 pounds in a week might not be healthy or realistic. To loose one pound a week may be more inline. It must be doable or you’ll most likely give up trying or not even bother trying at all.

T – Time-Based: An expected date of completion is a great motivator. It helps you create a sense of urgency. Don’t sell yourself short here. Add in some extra time to compensate for those roadblocks, detours, and highways under construction that you may bump into along the way.

Be sure to commit your plan to writing. It will give you something to refer back to as you monitor your progress. Give your written plan the same status that you’d give any contractual agreement. Honor your commitments and never ever give up. “Only those who fail greatly can ever achieve greatly” – Robert Kennedy. If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying hard enough.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a keynote speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out what Brian can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com

Some Have to Work at It – For Others it Comes Naturally

Dealing with Difficult People, Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , ,

grumpy ladyHave you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Oh, yuck – What a dink? And I don’t mean double income no kids. You didn’t know why – you just knew there was something about them that you didn’t like. But, after you spent some face time with them, and you got to know them better, did you ever change your mind? Building relationships and establishing mutual respect with the people you work with and interact with, is crucial to your overall success. (Not to mention your sanity).

You have two choices; You can either learn to get along with them – or you can dis-associate yourself from them. If it is someone you have to work with. or interact with. then you’ll have no choice but to learn how to get along with them. You don’t have to socialize with them outside of official company functions and you don’t have to go to the local watering hole after work and buy them their favorite beverage, but you will need to learn how to coexist.

If it is someone in your social circles and it won’t impact your relationship with your other friends. then just walk away.  You get to pick and chose who you want to hang around with. There aren’t any rules that say you have to like everyone.

Three Steps To Establishing Those All Important Relationships

Step One: Establish Rapport – Find out something about them that they like. Do they have a hobby? What do they like to do in their spare time? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they enjoy talking about. Once you get them talking about the things they like – you’ll learn everything you need to know about them to move on to the next step.

Step Two: Develop a Relationship. You can’t develop a relationship with anyone you haven’t established rapport with first. People like to hang around and work with people they like. The more that you interact with them, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to develop a relationship with them. Be patient. This step takes time. Keep at it. Trust me – they will eventually start to open up to you.

Step Three: Build Respect – No one respects anyone that they haven’t developed a relationship with first. Some people will move through this three-step process quicker than others, but it’s a process we all need to go through. If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will have established mutual respect. They may not agree with everything you say or do but they will agree that you have the right to say it. Respect is reciprocal. You get what you give. If you treat someone with respect. eventually you will get it in return.

Try this 3-step process the next time you have to go along with someone to get along. Some have to work at it – for others it comes naturally.  Give it a go – Let me know how it works out.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics?  To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you, your people and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com – You’ll be glad you did.