Things Won’t Get Better Until You Do

secret 4Life – your life is not about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. It’s about learning how to live the life you imagined for yourself. Are you happy being you? Would you rather be doing something else then what you are doing right now? The only person who can change your current situation is you. If you’re waiting for someone else to come along to improve your lot in life you are going to be waiting a very, very long time. Miracles are great, but they are so hard to come by. Wishing and hoping won’t make it so. Life, your life, is a planned event.

What is getting in the way of you accomplishing those things that seem to be out of your reach? What skills will it take for you to realize your full potential? I believe we are born a certain style which influences how we communicate and interact with others, how we manage our time and deal with stress. And how we solve problems and resolve conflict. I also believe we aren’t born knowing what we need to know to accomplish those things that are most important to us. But I also believe we have the capacity to learn how. When you change the habit you change the result. All you have to do is stop doing one thing and start doing another. And if you do it often enough – it will become you.

You can learn to manage your time more effectively, cope with the daily stressors in your life and deal with difficult people and challenging situations better. The only person getting in your way of accomplishing those things that are most important to you – is you. You just need to learn how to get out of your own way. It starts with you believing in you. It starts with you believing you can. Once you believe in yourself the rest will fall into line. I know I’m making this sound pretty simple. But it really is. We just make it seem impossible. If you can dream it you can do it. Success and being successful is a learned behaviour. It’s time you got busy and start doing what needs to be done. Nothing will get better until you do.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit

Do You Lack Self-Confidence? Then Fake it Until You Make It

Worth Remembering …

“The better people think they are , the better they will be. A positive self-image creates success.”    – Liisa Joronen

What is your biggest obstacle to more self-confidence? I think it’s your internal dialogue – the way you talk to yourself. If you think negative thoughts – then negative thoughts will happen. (It’s the law of attraction)

Here’s a story that will help explain what negative thinking can do. I know most of the golfers out there can identify with this. (Certainly the ones I play with) Have you ever walked on to a tee-box – ready to hit your first drive down the centre of the fairway – but you couldn’t stop thinking about the water hazard lurking just out of the corner of your eye to your right? You kept saying to yourself, “Whatever you do – DON’T hit it into the water”. And what did you end up doing? That’s right – you hit it into the water anyways. (That’s the law of attraction)

World class athletes, just like world class actors visualize a gold medal – Oscar winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their minds eye what their performance will look like. And then they go out and replay that winning performance in real time.

If you have recently been promoted to a management position – but lack the self-confidence that only experience on the job can bring – take a page out of the actors handbook and try visualizing how a good manager looks and acts and then play that video in real time. (Fake it – until you make it) The more you do it – the more it will become you.

Here are five helpful tips on how to give your self-confidence a boost:

  • Look for a role model or mentor. What is it about their style that you like? What do they do that makes them appear confident? How do they act? Act like they act –  you will eventually act the same way. 
  • Focus on your achievements rather then your failures. Focus on what you’ve done well and what you are going to do better the next time you have the same opportunity. We can all improve. We’ve all done things that in hindsight we would have done differently. 
  • Focus on your good qualities. I can’t grow a full beard to save my life – but I can grow a great mustache. I’m a compassionate person and will give anyone a break. I believe in second chances. (Up to a point – but don’t try to take advantage of my good nature. I can be assertive when the situation warrants it) 
  • Dress for the job you want not the one you have. Clothes have a way of framing  our thoughts. If you feel good about the way you look – you’ll feel better about yourself and project a more confident image. Their perception is the new reality. 
  • Expect the unexpected. Remember – nothing ever goes completely as planned. You need to learn to go with the flow and adapt. Have confidence in your own ability to deal with whatever gets thrown your way. You need to be able to solve problems by thinking on your feet – making the best decision that you can – with the information that you have at the moment – and move on. 

Worth Remembering ”’

“Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence.”  – Seneca