Tag Archives: Dealing with Difficult People

Managing for Results – The Art of Managing & Leading in the 21st Century

Coping with Stress, Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What kind of training are you providing your managers and potential leaders? Mark September 11 & 12th down on your calendar and have them attend this high-intensity, very interactive 2-day skills development workshop. You won’t be sorry you did. The traditional role of the manager has changed. New leadership skills are required for the workplace of today and the next decade. Make a commitment. Don’t put their career or your organization at risk – have them learn how to manage the 21st Century way.

Managing for Results – The Art of Managing & Leading in the 21st Century.

Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make – July 18

Coping with Stress, Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Contact Convey to register for this “Free” one hour webinar and be eligible for a copy of my book – “Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make & How to Avoid Them”.  Don’t delay – contact Convey today. You’ll be glad you did.

Confessions of a Reformed Control Freak – The Top Ten Sins Most Managers Make by – July 18, 2012.

People Won’t Trust Anyone They Don’t Respect First – Building Relationships That Last

Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , ,

Have you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Oh, yuck – What a dink”? (And I don’t mean Double Income No Kids) You didn’t know why – you just knew that there was something about them that you didn’t like. But, after you spent some time with them – and got to know them better – did you ever change your mind? Building relationships and establishing trust with the people you work with is crucial to your overall success as a manager. Once you lose the trust and confidence of your people – you lose your ability to manage and lead them.

“We cannot hide behind our boundaries, or hold onto the belief that we can survive alone” – Meg Wheatley

Trust and respect do not come automatically just because you’ve been given the title of manager. You must earn both, one person at a time. (And remember once you gain your team’s trust and respect, you can just as easily lose both.) Establishing trust between you and the people you work with and interact with – is a 3-step process that I refer to as the 3’R’s – Rapport, Relationships and Respect. It’s a process that everyone must go through when they meet someone for the very first time. Some people will go through this process quicker then others, but it’s a journey we all must take.

“In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake … people in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity.” – Walter Wriston

The 3-R’s – Building Relationships That Last

Step One: Rapport; The first step is to build rapport. Find out something about the person other than the work they do. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children? What do they like to do in their spare time? Do they like to fish, play golf, ride horses or walk their dog? You need to be able to carry on a conversation them on a subject that they’d enjoy talking about. Idle chit-chat is important if you want to build rapport. No one can have a relationship with anyone unless they have established rapport first.

Step Two: Relationship; Successful managers and leaders understand the value of building relationships with the people they work with and interact with. They understand that people choose to do business with and follow people they like. If you have built your relationships with them on a solid foundation, then your team will want to perform well for you. No one wants to let a “friend” down. The third step, respect, will evolve over time as a result of those relationships. But remember, no one will respect anyone that they haven’t established a relationship with first.

Step Three: The third step to building trust is respect. How often have you heard someone say, “Well, I don’t agree with what was said, but I do respect him/her for being honest, up front, and telling it like it is.” That is the kind of relationship that you must have with your people. We are adults, we can agree to disagree. Let your people know that it’s OK for them to express their opinion – that you will listen to what they have to say. That you won’t belittle them, brow beat or dismiss them outright because they didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. Respect is reciprocal. You have to give it – to get it. Others will respond in kind. If you have establish mutual respect – they will trust you. They will take a leap of faith because they know you have their best interest in mind.

“Women are becoming enormously successful …. They’re running their businesses on what we call a familial model, a family, instead of a hierarchical top-down military model. They work with, not over or for.” – Faith Popcorn

If you had to make a choice of either to be liked or respected – which one would you choose? The truth of the matter is that not everyone will like you and you won’t like everyone you work with. But you do need to respect and trust each other. 🙂

It’s Called Delegation for a Reason – Give up Control to Get Control 1

Coping with Stress, Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Do you know me? I’m the one who is constantly looking over your shoulder. I lurk in the shadows, waiting for you to slip up so that I can pounce. Still don’t recognize me? My way is always the only way. I need to be in charge and I go out of my way to make sure everyone knows it. If this sounds like you, then perhaps you and I are one and the same: the typical “A” personality? (I’ll let you decide what the “A” stands for). If you haven’t guessed all ready – we’re the micro-manager; the classic control-freak. Trust me – I speak from experience. There’s no question that the control freak style of managing others does get results. But the question you need to ask yourself is “Will this style of managing – which was born out of the 1940’s and 50’s – be the same style that will help you be successful managing in the 21st Century?”

Worth Remembering …

“In the digital age you need to make knowledge workers out of every employee possible” – Bill Gates, Microsoft

I believe one of the keys to good management moving forward will be about “inclusion” not “exclusion”. It will be about including workers in the decision-making process at all levels in the organization. Companies should invert the triangle so that the pointed end is at the bottom and the wider portion – the base of the triangle – is at the top. By inverting the triangle you are acknowledging the people who really make it happen – your workers. (Management think they do – but the rank and file know better) Managing effectively in the 21st Century means that you have to “Give up control – to get control”. To control things – you don’t have to be involved in all things. You physically can’t be in all places – all the time. Decisions need to be made – actions need to be taken – time to react is now – not after you’ve had time to address the situation and decide the course of action. At some point you’ll have to delegate some of your responsiblity to others.

Worth Remembering …

“You establish some objectives for them, provide some incentive, and try not to direct the detailed way in which they do their work.” – David Packard, HP

It’s critical to your success that you show trust and confidence in your people. The best way to do that is to get out of their way and let them do it their way. Don’t get too hung up on how your people go about doing it. Yes, you can give them some pointers here and there, but keep in mind that most people like to put their own stamp on things. Don’t be a micro-manager. You didn’t like it when someone was looking over your shoulder – watching your every move – second guessing every decision you made – so don’t do the same thing to them.

The next time you have an opportunity to give up some of your control try these five easy steps to effective delegation:

1. Decide what you want to delegate: You need to be very clear on what task you are going to delegate and make sure they have all the tools they’ll need to complete it.

2. Decide who you are going to delegate the task to: Who on your team do you believe is capable of completing the task and achieving the desired results?

3. Create a teachable moment: Demonstrate the task – have them perform the task while you observe – and once you are satisfied that they can perform the task – get out of their way and let them do it on their own without you looking over their shoulder.

4. Monitor their performance: Follow-up, follow-up, follow-up. Make it a point to check-in on them once in a while to make sure they are still achieving the desired result. Be there to answer any questions or address any concerns that they may have. People do what you inspect not what you expect. Keep the lines of communication open.

5. Praise performance often: Recognize what has been accomplished and be quick to offer praise for a job well done. When you praise someone for a job well done – be sure to keep your “but” out of it. If you want to tweak what they are doing ever so slightly then replace the “but” with “and”. John I love how you did that – it looks great – AND the next time you do it try doing this and see what you think.

If you don’t delegate some of your duties and responsibilities you won’t have the time to step back and think about where you, your department and or the organization needs to be and how you are going to get there. If you don’t
trust your people to do a job on their own, then why did you hire them in the first place? 🙂 Cheers,