Is Your Cup Half-Full or Half-Empty? Attitude is Everything 6

Sir Winston Churchill once said “For myself – I am an optimist. It does not seem to be much use being anything else.” Do you walk around thinking that your cup is half-full or half-empty? I choose to see my cup as half-full. I choose to see the positives in everything that happens to me and around me – because I believe that everything in life is a learning opportunity. Even the negative things that happen to you, and trust me there will be plenty of them, are really positives if you choose to look at them from a different point of view. (It also helps if you believe in fate) I believe everything that happens to you in life – happens for a reason. Whatever happens today is preparing you for what is going to happen tomorrow. (It may not be obvious at the time as you are going through it – but you’ll be able to connect the dots looking back)

I am without a doubt the most optimistic person you’ll ever meet. But besides being an eternal optimist I’m also a realist. (I do have my Dr. Phil moments of clarity) I know that I can’t control everything that goes on around me. I know most outcomes are out of my hands. But I do know that I can control how I choose to react in any given situation. I know that in that space between stimulus and response that Dr. Covey talks about is choice.  I know that I must choose to react in a way that is going to get me what I want.

Everything you do is a choice. You may not like the choices that you have to pick from – but it is a choice. You can choose to do nothing – and see what happens – or you can choose to do something and hopefully end up with what you want. You always have a choice. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. Your attitude is 100% in your control. “If you change the way you look at things. The things you look at will change”.

The next time you are faced with having to make a choice try asking yourself:

  • What’s my WIIFM? What do I want the end result to be? (You’ve got to name it to claim it)
  • What do I want the other person’s response or reaction to be?
  • Is there a lesson here? What am I suppose to be taking away from this so I don’t end up doing it again?
  • What do I need to do to get what I want? How am I suppose to react?

Once you decide what you want – the how will reveal itself. So remember – the next time that you have to make a choice – take a deep breath – ask yourself a series of questions for clarity – and then react in a way that will get you what you want. Attitude – Your attitude – will make all the difference in the world. – Cheers, 🙂

There’s More to Listening Than Hearing 1

“In the industrial age, the CEO sat on the top of the hierarchy and didn’t have to listen to anybody … In the information age; you have to listen to the ideas of people regardless of where they are in the organization.” – John Sculley. Active Listening? What images conjure up in your mind’s eye when you hear that? Who do you think is the most important person in the conversation – the sender or the receiver? Active listening (receiving) is as important to communication as effective speaking (sending). If the receiver doesn’t receive the message the way it was intended then whatever was said means absolutely squat.

Active listening is described as a process in which the listener interacts with the speaker. Effective communication takes two. To really listen to what is being said requires mental and verbal paraphrasing and attention to non-verbal cues like tones, gestures, and facial expressions. (We communicate 93% of the time non-verbally – 38% by the tone of our voice and 55% by body language alone.) The next time you have an opportunity to listen try being actively involved in the exchange by developing/demonstrating these five skills to become a more active listener.

1. Restating and Summarizing: You should be able to restate what the speaker said and or summarize the discussion. The speaker should hear their own words being played back to them. (So what you are saying is …)

2. Paraphrasing: You are paraphrasing what the speaker said by repeating it as accurately as you can – using your own words. If you met someone in the hallway after the discussion could you tell that person what the discussion was about?

3. Non-Words: Listeners can show the speaker that they are listening by verbally and non-verbally acknowledging the speaker. (The Fraser Crane – Hello – I’m listening) Use non-words like “ah-ha – yeah – hmmmmmm – oh. Smile, nod and make eye contact.

4. Supporting Statements: Another way to verbally acknowledge a speaker is to use supporting statements. Examples include “Go on; tell me more, and then what happened?, OMG you’re kidding?

5. Non-Verbal Messages: Remember – We communicate 55% of the time non-verbally. Your body language is speaking volumes and you haven’t said a word. Your non verbal messages must be the same as your verbal messages so that the speaker feels that you are being sincere. People believe the non-verbal messages you send to be more accurate. Your verbal responses should include non-verbal responses such as: body angle and stance, facial expressions, arms, hands, legs and feet. Your body language should appear open and receptive. Put your hands down at your sides not across your chest. Rolling your eyes, yawning, looking around the room, looking down at your watch or tapping on the floor with your toe should be avoided at all costs.

We aren’t born good listeners but we can learn how. Try adding these five skills to your active listening toolbox. You’ll find out everything you need to know about the people you work with and interact with by actively listening. 🙂 – Cheers,

Increase Your Team’s Motivation Five-Fold – Scott Keller 2

“Dolphins do it, humpback whales do it, even lions, orcas and wolves do it, and of course humans try to do it”. So says Phil Baguley author of “Teams and Team-Working”. Why teams? Do we really accomplish more? Reduce our costs? Or is it just wishful thinking? Teams and work teams make for a great sound bite – but in the real world – your world – do they produce the kinds of results that you want? Or do they create more problems than they’re worth?

I’ll try not to be too cynical here – but you can’t throw people together – call them a team – and have them perform without teaching them what it means to be part of a team – and how to be a good team player. (It’s a learned behaviour) Making teams work is a challenging and difficult process. Nonetheless, you can increase the likelihood that your team will succeed in accomplishing individual and team goals by carefully managing the setting of team goals and priorities, how work team members are selected, trained and compensated. Team goals may vary depending on the role that teams play in your organization. Problem solving teams, self-managed teams, cross functional teams, virtual teams and work teams. Teams can be brought together, based on each team member’s area of expertise, to work on a specific project and once that project is completed the team is disbanded. (Project Managers work in this type of environment and it takes a special set of skills to manage those teams)

“Coming together is a beginning – Keeping together is progress – Working together is success” – Henry Ford. Managers need to understand that they need their people a great deal more than their people need them. You and I both know that there are a number of ways to accomplish a given task. The more that you allow other team members to be involved in the process, the more likely it is – that they’ll be interested in the results. Do you want to know the secret to increasing your team’s motivation five-fold? Reading Scott Keller’s article is a great place to start. Enjoy the read 🙂

Increase Your Team's Motivation Five-Fold – Scott Keller – Harvard Business Review.

Silent Conversations. Are Your Body and Mouth on the Same Page? – Rita Rocker 2

You are speaking volumes and you haven’t said a word yet. On a percentage basis how much do you think we communicate by the actual words we say? Based on the research of Dr. Ralph Nichols – we communicate just 7% of the time by the actual words we say. I want you to think about that for a moment. You communicate just 7% of the time by the actual words you say. You communicate 93% of the time – non verbally. (38% by the tone of your voice and 55% of the time by body language alone) And most adults believe the non-verbal as more accurate – especially women who are far more intuitive to non-verbal communication cues than men. With men it’s usually black or white. With women, it’s more in that grey zone. Women tend to read between the lines and communicate on an emotional level. Your actions and what you are saying must be congruent to be believed. Pay attention to a person’s body language when communicating so you can pick up on subtle nuances and depict what’s really on their mind. – Great article by Rita Rocker – Enjoy the read 🙂

Silent Conversations. Are Your Body and Mouth on the Same Page? | Work + Money – Yahoo! Shine.