Resolving conflict is a skill; like any other skill, it can be learned. You can learn to disagree without being disagreeable. You can learn to deal with difficult people and challenging situations better and still build collaborative teams. You can learn to handle awkward conversations without destroying important relationships. You can agree to disagree.
Worth Remembering – Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional. – Lucado.
A conflict is defined as a disagreement, clash, or struggle between one or more persons, a group, ideas or thoughts when their goals, values or needs are not met.
Resolving Conflict. Generally, there are 3 types of conflict.
1 – Disagreement. A disagreement is when each of you has a different opinion about a subject, neither of which you can alter in any way.
2 – Misunderstanding. A misunderstanding is when communication breaks down, and only part of the message is getting through to the other person.
3 – True Conflict. True conflict occurs when one person gets what they want, and the other person can’t get what they want.
Worth Remembering – It is more rewarding to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship. – Josh McDowell.
Resolution Techniques. The next time you are faced with resolving a conflict, first identify the type of conflict, then apply the appropriate technique to resolve it.
1 – Disagreement. When the discussion gets old, resolve it quickly by respecting each other’s opinions, agreeing to agree to disagree.
2 – Misunderstanding. Resolve with courtesy, respectful assertiveness, and, most importantly, great listening skills. Ask open-ended questions for clarity to ensure you understand the other person’s point of view.
3 – True Conflict. To resolve true conflict, do these 4 steps.
1 – Separate the person from the problem. They are ok; it’s what they are doing that’s not.
2 – Focus on needs, not wants. What do they need? What do you want?
3 – Come up with all the options you can that would resolve the situation, and pick one that you can live with.
4 – Insist that the results are based on some objective standard. It can’t be because you said so.
What’s your WIIFM – what’s in it for me? You can learn a new skill. But you won’t put in the effort unless it is something you want. That’s your WIIFM. If you stop doing one thing and start doing another, and if you do it often enough, you will have developed a new skill. You can agree to disagree.
Copyright 2026. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a guest speaker or planning an in-person training session? Contact Brian – he works with people who want to communicate and interact more effectively, regardless of gender or generation, build collaborative teams, resolve conflicts or motivate others to perform at their best.
