Category Archives: Self-Help

Managing Your Boss and Living to Tell About It 2

Leadership Development, Management, Networking, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

images (36)The key to managing your boss is to manage them in a style they like. One thing you need to know for certain is you are not going to change them. They’ve been successful managing a certain way so why would they want to do it any differently? If you want to learn how to manage your boss and live to tell about it then you must change your style to be more in tune with theirs. Everyone has a natural style of behaving. A natural way of communicating and interacting with others. Everyone likes to manage and be managed a certain way. Learn to mirror their behavior.

Different strokes for different folks. I believe we are born one of four styles of behaving. (Dominate, Interactive, Steadiness and Conscientious. The theory of DISC was developed by Dr. William Marston.) Take time to discover your bosses style and then communicate and interact with them that way.

D Style: (Dominant) They walk fast, talk fast and do everything fast. Make communication brief and to the point. Don’t muddy the water by using graphs, charts and volumes of data. Respect their need for autonomy. Be prepared for blunt, demanding approaches. They lack empathy and are uncomfortable with social interaction so they see no need for idle chit-chat.

I Style: (Interactive / Interpersonal) Don’t be in a hurry. They prefer a relaxed and social environment. Let them verbalize their thoughts and feelings. They are great communicators so be prepared for someone who will attempt to persuade and influence others. Provide them with the information they’ll need to make the right decisions. They like being the center of attention.

S Style: (Steadiness) Be logical and systematic in your approach. They have a natural resistance to change. They prefer to know how things will be done ahead of time – preferably in writing. They have a difficult time identifying priorities and meeting deadlines. Teach them how to say no nicely because they usually say yes to everything. They are the ultimate team player never wanting to let anyone down.

C Style: (Conscientious) They value high standards – they strive to be perfect. Be prepared – know what you know. They have very little patience for vague generalizations. Chances are they will double-check your work so let them know what you don’t know but assure them that you’ll go and find out. Don’t make stuff up. They are all about detail. They love pie charts and graphs.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker or workshop facilitator? Give Brian a call. He’ll work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Visit http://briansmithpld.com

Success Comes By Learning To Fail Magnificently 1

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

FailingIf you are going to fail – you might as well fail magnificently. And if you aren’t failing chances are you aren’t trying hard enough. If you aren’t failing you are going through life by playing it way too safe. You are robbing yourself of your opportunity to grow. I don’t thing we start out intentionally to fail – but we shouldn’t let the fear of failing get in the way of us giving it a go. Failing is part of the learning process. It’s a way of figuring out what works – and more importantly – what doesn’t work.

“I have not failed 10,000 times – I have discovered 10,000 ways that do not work” – Thomas Edison. Imagine what life would have been like in Edison’s time if he had given up. I know for certain that if he had given up he would never have realized his full potential. Where would Micheal Jordan be today if he had given up on basketball after being cut from his high school basketball team? I’ve been knocked down so many times I’ve lost count. Getting knocked down has never been an issue for me. If I want it bad enough I will get back up – dust myself off – and press on – hopefully a little wiser and a little more informed.

How bad do you want it? Are you willing to get knocked down – look for the lessons – learn them – and then get back up and press on? The only person getting in your way – is you. Don’t let shoulda, coulda, woulda be part of your vocabulary. Don’t rob yourself of your opportunity to grow. What do you want? What has to happen for you to reach your goal? Success comes by learning to fail magnificently. Now put a game plan together and get busy. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you or someone you know looking for a speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Visit http://briansmithpld.com

The Secret to Success is Between Your Ears 1

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Planning, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , ,

secret 3Think it, act it and eventually you’ll become it. The secret to your success is between your ears. However, just thinking about success isn’t good enough. You actually have to go out and apply yourself. That’s the difference between successful people and the not so successful people. Successful people work at it. Successful people get up off the couch and get after it. Successful people hit the ground running.

What would you rather be doing with your life then what you are doing right now? I want you to think about that for a moment. What does the ideal career look like to you? If you wanted to start your own small business, what kind of business would it be? If you want to take on a leadership position in your organization, what role would that be? Life – your life – is a planned event – wishing hoping won’t make it so. Put a plan together and then work your plan.

Good habits = good results. We are adults and we can develop new habits. What new habits will you need to develop to open your own small business? What new habits will you need to learn to get promoted? I know it’s easier said then done – but it can be done. Do you need to learn how to be more patient, open-minded or a better communicator and listener? Will you need to be better at planning and managing your time more effectively?

When you change the habit – you change the result. All you need to do is just stop doing one thing and start doing another. And once you’ve done it often enough it will become you. You will have developed a new habit. Once you’ve made up your mind what it is you want, and how to go about getting it, eventually everything will fall into place.

Copyright (c) Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you or someone you know looking for a keynote speaker, planning a lunch-n-learn or organizing an event? Brian can deliver an informative and entertaining presentation on a variety of soft-skills topics. Contact Brian today – He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is a success. http://briansmithpld.com

Going Along to Get Along – The Art of Working With People You Don’t Like 1

Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Management, Networking, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

grumpy ladyYou may not like some of the people you work with – but the truth is – you need to learn how to get along with them. Think of a job that you could do in your life time that didn’t involve working with people. You’d be hard pressed to come up with one.  Dealing with difficult people and challenging situations is a learned behavior. You just need to decide if it’s worth it. But trust me – If you are looking for a career in sales, owning and operating a business some day or managing and leading others then it’s not open for debate – the ability to get along with others is a must have.

Think of someone you are having difficulty connecting with. You don’t know why but there is something about them that drives you crazy. There is something about them that makes you want to pick up a heavy object and smack them across the side of the head. Before you do something that might get you arrested give this 3-step process a try. Remember – you don’t have to like them you just need to learn how to work with them. The 3 R’s will teach you how.

Rapport: Find out something about them that you could use to strike up a conversation. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children or grand children? What do they like to do in their spare time? Do they like to hunt, fish, play golf or read books? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they like. You need to get them talking. Idle chit-chat is important to establish rapport. And you need to establish rapport to move to the next level. You can’t develop a relationship with someone until you’ve established rapport first.

Relationship: Successful sales people understand the value of developing a relationship with their clients. People like to do business with and buy products or services from people they like. You need to develop a relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You need to develop a relationship with the people you’re going to manage or lead. No one wants to let a friend down. If they like you they will go to great lengths so they don’t disappoint you. You need to develop a relationship before you can move on to the final step – respect.

Respect: The final step in this 3-step process is respect. If you have established a rapport and developed a relationship with the people you work with and interact with, then chances are they will respect you for you. They may not like what you said or what you did but, they will respect you and will most likely forgive you. However, keep in mind that respect is reciprocal. You must give it to get it. You can’t demand it. People respect people that they have developed a relationship with.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can deliver an entertaining and informative session on a variety of soft-skills topics including; communication, time management, coping with stress and dealing with difficult people and challenging situations better? Contact Brian today. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com