Tag Archives: Communication

When Did Empathy Become a Bad Thing

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

If you look up empathy in the dictionary, it means being aware of and sharing another person’s feelings, experiences, and emotions. Empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to the feelings and thoughts fully communicated in an objectively clear manner, thereby vicariously experiencing them. Why is trying to see things from another person’s point of view considered taboo? When did empathy become a bad thing?

We have two ears but only one mouth. Some people suggest that it is because we should spend twice as much time listening as talking. Others suggest it’s because listening, really listening to what is being said, is twice as hard. – Dr. Ralph Nichols.

There is a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is that you heard something – listening is that you understood what you heard. Having the ability to really listen to someone is an acquired skill. We are not ‘wired’ to be a good listener. A recent survey revealed that individuals listen about 25 percent of the time, most people only recall 50 percent of what they hear, and 70 percent of all misunderstandings occur because people don’t truly listen to each other. The good news is we can learn to be good listeners.

In the industrial age, the CEO sat at the top of the hierarchy and didn’t have to listen to anybody. However, in the information age, you have to listen to the ideas of people, regardless of gender, generation or position within the organization. – John Scully.

To become a great listener, master these three key listener skills.

1 – Pay attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention. Do not interrupt.

2 – Paraphrase what the speaker said so they know you understood their point of view. If need be, ask open-ended questions for clarity.

3 – Pause and reflect on what was said. Do not become emotional.; respond respectfully in a professional manner. Remember Covey – ‘I listen to understand, not necessarily to agree. We are adults and we can agree to disagree.’

Always keep this in mind. Active listening, receiving the message as it was intended, is as essential to effective communication as speaking. You won’t learn a thing if you keep talking. Pay attention – paraphrase what the speaker said – pause and reflect before responding respectfully and professionally. When did empathy become a bad thing?

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event, or planning a training session at your location? Brian specializes in soft skills training and leadership development. He works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, resolve conflicts, build collaborative teams or motivate others to perform at their best.

Are You Missing Out On That Promotion

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Your ability to manage your emotions and recognize and influence the feelings of others is considered an essential skill. We live in a hi-tech world, but your soft skills – empathy, patience, open-mindedness and your ability to communicate, listen and establish trust with those you work with and interact with will play a significant role in your success. According to Dr. Daniel Goleman’s research, sixty-seven percent of the competencies required to manage and lead others are emotionally based. If you can’t connect emotionally with others, you’ll have difficulty managing or leading them. Are you missing out on that promotion?

Worth Remembering – So much success has nothing to do with hard skills. – Harvey MacKay.

Soft skills won’t guarantee that promotion, but not having them puts you at risk of not getting the offer.

Empathy – is your ability to see things from another person’s point of view. Put yourself in their shoes and do what you can to help them.

Patience – is your ability to remain calm under pressure and accept delays or problems without becoming anxious or angry and lashing out at someone.

Open-mindedness – is your willingness to consider someone else’s point of view, whether new or different, before deciding on a course of action.

Communicating – is your ability to communicate in a way that others will understand. Whatever you say won’t mean anything if they haven’t received the message as you intended.

Listening – is your ability to give someone your undivided attention when they are speaking. Remember what Covey said—listen to understand, not necessarily to agree.

Trustworthiness – is your ability to establish trust. Whatever you say you’re going to do – do it. People must be able to trust what you say. If they can’t trust your word – they won’t trust you.

Worth Remembering – Likeability is a soft skill that leads to hard result. – Mo Bunnell.

Soft skills are people skills that are not negotiable. People like to work with people they like. Not everyone wants to lead – but everyone gets to decide who they want to follow. If no one is following you – you aren’t leading. Are you missing out on that promotion?

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning an in-house training session. Brian works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams, resolve conflict or motivate others to perform at their best regardless of gender of generation. Contact Brian to learn more.

Me Thinketh a Monologue Doth Not a Dialogue Maketh

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Communication isn’t just something – it’s everything. I can’t think of a more valuable skill than communicating effectively. However, communication is a two-way street. It’s an exchange of thoughts and ideas amongst one or more persons. Me thinketh a monologue doth not a dialogue maketh.

I know you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. – Alan Greenspan.

It takes a great deal of effort on both the sender’s and receiver’s part to ensure the message has been sent, received, and, most importantly, understood. I haven’t even mentioned yet how each generation and gender communicate differently. Sometimes, they are not on the same wavelength. When you add that to the mix, it’s no wonder communication can break down.

A study on gender differences by Professor Deborah Frances Tannen of Georgetown University and Professor Julia Wood of the University of North Carolina noted that;

  • Women are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking, while men are more likely to look away.
  • Men tend to jump from topic to topic, but women talk at length about one topic at a time.
  • Women are inclined to express agreement and support, while men are inclined to debate.
  • Women see communication as a way to connect and build relationships, while men see it as a way to accomplish an objective.
  • Women seek out and welcome relationships, while men think relationships will jeopardize their independence.

Avoid fight or flight; always talk through your differences. – Stephen Covey.

We aren’t born great communicators. It is a learned behaviour. Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively.

  • Ask open-ended questions for clarity to promote dialogue to ensure they have received the message.
  • Listen twice as much as you talk. You won’t learn anything if you keep talking.
  • Be more intuitive to non-verbal cues to check for points of disagreement or misunderstanding. Based on the work of Dr. Ralph Nichols, we communicate 55 percent of the time using body language alone.
  • When giving instructions, be direct and to the point. Too much information tends to overwhelm the receiver.

If the essence of communication is sending and receiving the message as intended, you must remember that you are not the most important person in the conversation. Me thinketh a monologue doth not a dialogue maketh.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning an in-house training session. Contact Brian to learn what he can do for you, your team and your organization. Brian’s training programs include individual coaching at no extra cost.

Four Leadership Skills That Will Drive Team Performance

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Whether you are in a management position or want to be promoted into a leadership role in your organization, the challenges remain the same. New leadership skills are required for an ever-changing, multi-generational, diverse workplace. Today’s new crop of potential managers and leaders must have exceptional people skills and master the ability to connect with others to build collaborative teams, communicate in a way that everyone will understand, educate them on what they need to know, and help others grow by delegating often.

Worth Remembering – If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t design tasks that work for them; instead, teach them to long for the immensity of the sea. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

Connecting. Exceptional managers and leaders can make an emotional connection. They understand that if you can’t make an emotional connection, you stand little chance of capturing their heads, hearts, and hands. Your success and the success of your organization hinge on your ability to bring people together and build a collaborative team.

Communicating. Exceptional managers and leaders know that communication is everything. They realize that they are not the most important person in the conversation. If you can’t send the message in a way that everyone will understand, then whatever you say will mean absolutely nothing. You need to get everyone on the same page.

Educating. Exceptional managers and leaders can teach others what they need to know to complete the task and reach individual and team goals. They understand that not everyone learns the same way. The key to teaching someone is to find out how they like to learn and teach them in their preferred style.

Delegating. Exceptional managers and leaders understand that they can’t do it alone. They understand that you must give up control to get control. They know that if they don’t delegate some of their responsibility to those around them, they rob them of their opportunity to grow. Successful managers and leaders resist the urge to micromanage.

Worth Remembering – To each, there comes a moment when they are offered a chance that’s fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if, at that moment, finds them prepared or unqualified. – Sir Winston Churchill.

Are you looking to become an exceptional manager or leader? Develop these four skills. Learn to connect with others, communicate in a way your team likes, educate them on what they need to know and grow your people by delegating often.

Copyright 2024. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. This article was written without AI Assistance. Brian specializes in helping others communicate and interact more effectively, resolve conflict, build collaborative teams and motivate others to perform at their best. Brian’s programs can be delivered virtually, online or in person, including one-on-one coaching.