How to Build a Relationship With Just About Anyone

Conflict Resolution 2Practice the 3 R’s – to establish trust and build relationships with the people you work with and interact with. Have you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Yuck – what a dink?”. (I don’t mean Double Income No Kids). There is just something about them that you don’t like. For what ever reason they rub you the wrong way. The truth of the matter is sometimes you have to work with – or interact with – people you don’t like. Even if you don’t like them – you still need to find a way to work with them. I have a solution for you. Think of someone who you work with that for what ever reason, you are having difficulty getting along with them. I want you to try this little experiment and see if it helps repair that relationship or a least make it bearable. I call it the 3 Rs to building relationships and establishing mutual trust with just about everyone and anyone.

Rapport: Start a conversation and find out something about them that you can talk about. What are their hobbies? Do they have children, play sports or read books? What do they love to do in their spare time? You can’t build a relationship with anyone that you haven’t established a rapport with first. Get them talking about themselves or what they love to do, and you are on your way to the next step. You are on your way to likeability.

Relationship: People like to hang around with, and interact with people they like. The more conversations you can have with that person or persons, the more likely it is that you are breaking down those barriers and are becoming more likable. Soft-skills – the ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others is a necessary skill in building relationships. Building a relationship is key to getting along with people – even the ones you don’t like.

Respect:  You don’t respect anyone you haven’t built a relationship with first. Out of a relationship comes mutual respect. You might not agree with everything they have said or done – but because you have built a relationship with them, you will respect the fact that they have a right to their own opinion and a right to live their lives as they see fit. We tend to agree to disagree with people we respect.

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. As friends, parents, managers, leaders, and coaches sometimes you need people to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers and need them to trust you. If you have established mutual respect in your relationships, then they will trust you. They will take that leap of faith knowing that you would never set them up for failure. They’ll know you have their best interest in mind.

Copyright (c) 2017. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

If They Could See Me Now

Choices 2Who Knew? Who knew that a high school drop out would become an award-winning entrepreneur, college professor, published author and a successful motivational speaker.   Certainly, not me – and likely not most of my friends and family. I was never a very good student. I was the class clown, always going for the laugh. I went to school to play sports, and when they took that away from me because my grades weren’t good enough – I quit – and got a job working retail. It was the sixties, life was easy. I was ok with hanging out in the slow lane, in no particular rush to get anywhere in a hurry. If you asked me back then what I wanted to do with my life I would have told you I wanted to be a musician or truck driver. I still think being a truck driver would be pretty cool.
#WorthRemembering … Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future if you change the here and now
If you aren’t happy with where you are – doing what you are doing – you have the power within you to change it. I truly believe that. For the most part, I am just like you. I don’t have super powers – I don’t have a magic wand to wave. I’m not any smarter than most. The only difference that might set me apart from you, is my desire to succeed at whatever the cost. I’m prepared to do whatever I need to do – to accomplish the goal. I believe that if it is worth doing – it is worth doing to excess. I think I inherited that gene from my Dad. He never did anything half-way.  He never let the lack of a formal education get in the way of achieving what he set out to do.
#WorthRemembering … Think it, Act it, Become it. When you change the habit you’ll change the result
What things are you doing right now that are getting in the way of you doing what you’d rather be doing? What do you need to start doing to get to where you want to be? What are you willing to give up to accomplish what you want to accomplish? If what you’re doing isn’t working for you – then you need to make changes. Wishing and hoping won’t make it so. As Pete Drucker would say “Miracles are great, but they are so hard to come by.” Change is never easy.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is taking a leap of faith. Most people would rather back into the future. Most people aren’t comfortable flying without a net. If you are happy where you are – stay there. If not – it’s time for you to get busy. I guarantee you – you’ll amaze yourself.
Copyright (c) 2017. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced with permission.

What Legacy Will You Leave Behind?

Optimistic 3My Mom had a great life – filled with much love – some sorrow – but mostly happiness. She was a devoted mother to her 7 children, 15 grand children and 11 great grand children. But most importantly she was best friend and loving wife to my Dad for over 66 years. She may have been small in stature, but don’t let her size fool you – she was one tough lady. She had to – to keep five boys in line. But she managed to do it in such a way that you always knew she loved you unconditionally, no matter how many times you messed up. And trust me – we messed up on more than a few occasions.

She was a member of the Canadian Women’s Army Corps and an outspoken advocate for the fair treatment of veterans. My Mom and her poppy blanket where a big hit on National TV. She managed to get a front row seat on Remembrance Day in the Nations Capital, where she laid a wreath in my Dad’s honor. A memory our family will cherish forever.

Those who knew my Mom knew she never shied away from giving her opinion on a variety of topics. A trait that she passed on to her children. You always knew where you stood with her. She was a serial volunteer, serving on a number of committees in one capacity or another. Mom was a proud member of the Royal Canadian Legion, the Red Hat Society and a Lady of the Knight. An honor bestowed upon her because my Dad was a Forth Degree Knights of Columbus.

Mom had a great sense of humor and loved to socialize with her many friends. Where ever, and when ever you saw my Mom you knew my Dad wouldn’t be too far behind – they were inseparable. They are now where they were always meant to be – together. “When you look to the heavens perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where are loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy” – author unknown but rather fitting. My parent’s spirit will live on through us and our children’s children. They will always be our guiding light and soft place to fall.

My parents taught us to be respectful towards others. To say please and thank you and pardon me – old fashion values that should never go out of style. They taught us to stand up for ourselves and each other. That family is important. They reminded us that nothing worthwhile comes without a great deal of hard work and sacrifice; and if it was worth doing – it was worth doing well. They reminded us that if you weren’t willing to go all in – then don’t waste your time and energy. What life lessons will you pass on? What legacy will you leave behind?

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaking who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Visit http://briansmithpld.com to find out more.

Answering The Why Not Me Question?

Let's Get Focused ImageWe have all experienced heart ache, disappointment and tasted defeat at some point in our lives. As painful as they might be, they are all part of life. They are all part of the process. If you aren’t happy with the way things have turned out so far,  you have the power within you to change it. You have a choice. You can let your past dictate your future or, you can change the here and now. You can live a deliberate life. You can live the kind of life that you envisioned for yourself. Your life is the result of the choices you’ve made. If you want to change your life – make different choices.

Worth Remembering … “The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment.” – Eckhart Tolle

Where would you rather be, than where you are right now? What would you rather be doing, then what you are doing right now? What career would you rather have, then the career you have right now? I want you to take a moment and write it down on a blank piece of paper. What will you need to do to make that happen? I want you to write all those things down that need to fall into place. (Things like; I need to get a car, move to another city , go back to school, get a better paying job so I can save some money. What ever you need to do to accomplish your life’s goal, I want you to write it down)

Worth Remembering … “I am a firm believer in goal setting. Step by step. I can’t see any other way of accomplishing anything” – Michael Jordan

Congratulations! – You’ve just taken your first step. Now take each one of those things that need to happen and break them down into baby steps. Remember – “Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time”. The only difference between those that realize their full potential and those that don’t – are the ones who are willing to put in the time and effort and do the heavy lifting. If you are willing to do that, then there will be nothing that can stop you from accomplishing what you set out to do. You will fall down, you will feel like giving up, but I promise you – if you hang in there and keep working your plan, you will realize your goals. The only thing standing in your way is you. Are you ready to answer the “why not me” question? I hope so.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a key-note speaker or facilitator who can deliver an informative and entertaining session on a variety of soft-skills topics? Brian will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Visit http://briansmithpld.com