Mothers Are The Ultimate Control Freaks

IMG_20140511_145439A “BIG” high-five to all the Mothers out there. Without your love, guidance and dedication most of us would not be here. I hope everyone got the chance to be with their Mom or at least talk with her on her special day. I’m one of the lucky ones because I got to spend Mothers Day with my Mom. Having my four brothers and sister there was a bonus. It’s been more than 50 years since all of us where together on Mothers Day. Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s was an interesting time. Perhaps not as challenging as it is now – but with eight of us living under the same roof, it had its moments. And through it all my Mother was able to maneuver the ship through the occasional rough sea and stay the course without ending up on the rocks and sinking.  Mothers are the ultimate control freaks but they control in a very special way.

Mothers are Teachers: My Mom taught me the difference between right and wrong.  To be respectful of others. To be kind. To help those in need. She taught me how to be a man. And more importantly she taught me how to be a parent.

Mothers are Referees: In spite of growing up with four competitive brothers and one sister in the house my Mom still managed to keep the peace. She’d have to intervene once in a while and make us go to neutral corners and take a much deserved time out. My Mom walked quietly but carried a big stick. She just had to give you that certain look and you understood.

Mothers are Guidance Councilors:  My Mom was the voice of reason. She guided me with a soft-hand and a gentle push. I could always count on her to be my soft-place to fall so I was never afraid to venture out on my own and take chances.

Thank you Mom. I love you. I am forever in your debt.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or workshop facilitator who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics including: powerful communication strategies, time management and personal effectiveness or how to deal with difficult people and challenging situations better? Visit http://briansmithpld.com

You Couldn’t Pay Me Enough to Work Here 3

bxp59950Staff engagement – it’s rarely about the money. They stay because of the people they work with. They stay because it’s a fun place to work. They stay because they see an opportunity for advancement. According to a recent survey conducted by Aon Hewitt, employee engagement in North America is at an all time low – down to 63% of the workforce. If those numbers are accurate that means 37% of your employees are not engaged, they are just going through the motions, or worse yet, they are actively disengaged, and our bent on trying to undermine what you and your engaged employees are trying to accomplish. That means 37 % of your staff have turned off or have tuned out.

Worth Remembering … “Get to know your people, what they do well, what they enjoy doing, what their weaknesses and strengths are, and what they want and need from their job” – Robert Townsend

What are you doing to retain the talent you have? Every organization has an identity – a culture that is best described as the values, beliefs and attitudes that are shared by everyone in the company. It starts at the top and trickles down. It never starts from the bottom and trickles up. Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos believes that if you get the culture right, then a lot of really amazing things happen on their own. What are you doing to engage the hearts and minds of everyone in the company? Answers to exit interviews conducted by the Saratoga Institute and outlined in Leigh Branham’s book “The Seven Hidden Reasons Employee’s Leave” may hold a few clues. According to those surveyed “Workers felt devalued and unrecognized, workers suffered from stress due to overwork and work-life balance and there was a loss of trust and confidence in senior management”

  • You’ve got to give people a reason to stay.
  • You’ve got to make them feel part of the process by soliciting their input.
  • You’ve got to communicate often by letting them know how well they are doing
  • You’ve got to let them in on your plans for the future, where they fit in and where the organization is going.

Worth Remembering … “One of the most important things about being a good manager is to rule with a heart. You have to know the business, but you also have to know what’s at the heart of business and that’s people.” – Oprah Winfrey

What are you doing to attract new talent? Everyone is competing for the same recruit. Why would someone want to work for your company instead of your competitors? And remember it’s not about the money. You just can’t sit back and throw money at them. At some point you won’t be able to pay them enough money to stay. According to a 2012 Bersin survey, $720 million per year is spent on employee engagement without much of a return on that investment.  If you want to attract new talent then you need to understand what they are looking for in the companies they choose to work with and commit to changing the way you communicate and interact. Life outside of work has become just as important, if not more important, than life at work. Especially among Millennials who will make up 50 % of the workforce by 2020. What are you doing to promote a healthy balanced life-style?  Advancement should be based on merit not on seniority. What training dollars are you willing to invest in their future? If you aren’t willing to invest in them, then don’t expect them to invest in you. Do you have a mentorship program? Have you identified your next crop of managers and enrolled them in your management development program? Can they work at home or do you offer a flexible work schedule? Company mission statements, values and code of conduct should be more than just fancy platitudes. You and everyone in the organization need to “live” them.

  • You’ve got to give people a reason why they would want to work for you
  • You’ve got to make them feel part of the process by soliciting their input
  • You’ve got to communicate often by letting them know how well they are doing
  • You’ve got to let them in on your plans for the future, where they fit in and where the organization is going.

I hope you are starting to see a pattern here? People are people – it doesn’t matter what generation you are from – we all want the same thing. We want to be seen and treated as partners. We want to work for an organization that wants us to be successful and are willing to invest time, energy and resources in us. And we want to work for an organization that makes us feel valued and trusted. 

Copyright (C) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a speaker? Planning a lunch-n-learn or training session? Let’s talk. briansmithpld@gmail.com. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit – http://briansmithpld.com

Fatherhood Doesn’t Come with an Instruction Manual 2

137r2v8t0hcp5mae.D.0.Happy-Father--s-Day-QuotesMy Dad passed away in November of 2012. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I still haven’t deleted him from my Skype contact list. (We Skyped each other on Sunday afternoons) I’m reminded every Fathers Day of how much I’ve lost but also of how much I gained. I have my memories to comfort me. I’m glad that I was able to kiss him on the forehead and tell him that I loved him as I left his hospital room. The last words I heard him say was that he loved me too. If your father is still alive don`t miss the opportunity to let him know how much he means to you.

The truth is we don’t get to pick our Dad. I lucked out. I got a Dad who loved me unconditionally no matter how many times I screwed up – no matter how many times I might have disappointed him. I knew I could always count on him to be my soft place to fall. I could call on him for advice – to give me guidance – to be a strong disciplinarian when I needed it but also loving and caring and empathetic when the situation warranted it. I knew he`d always be in my corner when I needed him.

Fatherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You learn in bits and pieces as you go along. Experience is a great teacher. You learn what to do – but more importantly you learn what not to do. I’m thankful my Dad was around to teach me how. I didn’t learn all the lessons as well as I could have – or should have – but I did the best I could. Hindsight is 20-20. Did I make mistakes – absolutely. Did I learn from them – you bet. My son is proof positive that things worked out in a good way. He’s a great Dad to his daughter. The legacy passed down from my Dad to me and from me to my son will live on. Thanks Dad. Thank you for everything. I know you are still there looking out for me – guiding me – and pointing the way. I love you. Happy Fathers Day.

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith. Not to be reproduced without permission. http://briansmithpld.com