How To Get Along With People Even If You Don’t Like Them

Rarely can you accomplish all that you set out to do without help from someone else. You don’t have to like the people you work with, but you must learn how to get along with them. Daniel Goleman believes that soft skills – often called emotional intelligence – are a common core of personal and social abilities that have proven critical to people’s success.

Worth Remembering – “One of the most important things about being a good manager is to rule with a heart. You have to know the business, but you also have to know what is at the heart of the business, and that’s people.” – Oprah.

A better understanding of yourself and understanding others’ behaviours allows you to improve your performance in relationships at home and work. Your technical abilities alone no longer guarantee success in working with others. Results of a study conducted by the HayGroup, a leading authority on emotional intelligence, show that EQ (emotional intelligence) is twice as important for most jobs involving working with people than IQ. You don’t have to be the most intelligent person in the room to be the most effective. Sixty-seven percent of the competencies needed to work with others are emotionally based. You can learn to be more empathetic, open-minded, and flexible and communicate and interact more effectively with others.

Worth Remembering – “In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake. People in trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity.’ – Walter Wriston.

Establishing a relationship based on mutual respect and trust is a learned behaviour. It is a process that all humans go through when meeting someone for the very first time. We take direction and like to hang out with people we like. Trust and respect don’t come automatically. You must earn it one person at a time. You must learn to get along with people even if you don’t like them. Working with others is a team sport. Just like it takes a village to raise a child – it takes a team to manage and lead an organization.

Take the 3-R Challenge and learn how to get along with people even if you don’t like them.

Think of someone you are having difficulty working with. For whatever reason, you two are not getting along. It can be someone at work or in your social circles. Please take on this Challenge and turn that situation around. I want you to apply a 3-step process known as the 3-Rs. (Rapport, Relationship, Respect) I promise you will be amazed at how effective it is to establish those all-important relationships.

Step One: Establish Rapport. Find out something about them other than the work they do. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children? What do they like to do in their spare time? The easiest way to establish rapport is to get them talking about themselves. Ask questions, and show interest in them. If you show interest in them – they will be interested in you.

Step Two: Develop a Relationship. You cannot develop a relationship with anyone unless you have established rapport first. The more you converse with them on subjects they are interested in – the more likely you are to develop a relationship with them. You are beginning to break down the barriers between you and them. You are starting to like each other or at least tolerate each other.

Step Three: Mutual Respect. You will not respect anyone until you first develop a relationship with them. Respect is reciprocal, but you have to give it before you get it back. The more you treat someone how you want to be treated, the more likely they will respond in kind. You get back what you send out.

Build Trust; You will never build trust with anyone you don’t respect first. If you establish mutual respect in your relationships with the other person, they will trust you. They may not always agree with you, and you may not always agree with them, but they will respect that you have a right to express your opinion.

Take the 3-R Challenge.

Take the 3-R Challenge and establish those all-important relationships. Contact me at – and let me know how you made out. I am here to help you succeed. Remember – You don’t have to like them, but you do need to learn how to get along with them.

Copyright (c) 2023. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a corporate training provider, a keynote speaker for your next conference or planning an in-person or virtual workshop? Contact Brian – he will customize a program for you and your organization. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you, visit – All four of Brian’s published books are available on Amazon –