Avoidance Is Not Conflict Resolution

You can’t ignore a conflict in hopes that it will go away. Avoidance is not conflict resolution. Conflict and disagreements are unavoidable. Whenever you have more than one person in the room you’re going to have some type of conflict or disagreement. Two people can’t be expected to agree on everything. When dealt with in a respectful and positive way, conflict provides an opportunity for both parties to grow.

Worth Remembering … “Problem solving is a having the ability to directly and positively face and resolve difficult situations.”

If you are going to resolve it, you must first understand what caused it. Was it competitive feelings, personal jealousy or resentment, the desire to sabotage someone else’s idea, dissension caused by poor listening skills, lack of good communication skills or a lack of trust? Remember – avoidance is not conflict resolution. It is not going to go away by walking away. You need to deal with it.

Here are five things you can do to resolve conflict.

1 – Provide more information to make discussions productive rather than contentious. Lack of information or not the right information could be the reason behind the conflict.

2 – Ask for solutions. I would never let anyone come to me with a problem and not ask them what would they do to resolve it. If their solution sounds reasonable, and is doable, then go with it.

3 – Establish common goals, In the big scheme of things the differences may not be too far apart. You may discover you both want much of the same thing.

4 – Managing your emotions and keeping your ego in check is key to resolving conflict. Make saving the relationship your number one priority.

5 – Do not force a consensus. Develop a plan of action that is right for both parties. Something that you can both live with. Learn to pick your battles. Sometimes the conflict is not worth damaging or destroying a relationship.

Worth Remembering … ” An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi

My final thought on resolving conflict. We are emotional beings, and sometimes we say things in the heat of the conflict that we wish we could take back. Words are powerful. They can leave an invisible scar. We can use them to build people up or tear them down. Choose your words wisely.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Is Your Cup Half Full or Half Empty?

“For myself – I am an optimist. It does not seem to be much use being anything else”. Churchill was right. Do you walk around thinking that your cup is half-full or half-empty? I choose to see my cup as half-full. I choose to see the positives in everything that happens to me because I believe that everything that happens to me is a learning opportunity. Even the negative things that happen to you, and trust me there will be plenty of them, are really positive ones if you learn to look at them from a different point of view.

Worth Remembering … “The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.” – Amanda Curtis Kane

Attitude – your attitude is a matter of choice. You own it 100% of the time. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. You are the boss of you. You can choose to look at the negative things that will happen to you and wallow down in the muck or you can choose to learn from them and grow. You can choose to learn the lessons the negatives are trying to teach you and move forward. You always have a choice.

Worth Remembering … “Between stimulus and response there is a space. And in that space lie our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices, lie our growth and happiness.” – Stephen R. Covey

Viktor Frankl understood the power to choose. Viktor understood that no one else but he could decide how he should react to any given situation. Viktor was an Austrian born Neurologist and Psychiatrist who was best known for founding a theory he named Logotherapy that is used when working with people who are contemplating suicide. During WWII the Nazi’s had taken away all that was dear to him. He lost his prized manuscripts, his loving parents and siblings. Viktor had a choice to make. He knew he had no control over what they had done to him and his family, but he could control how he choose to react to it. Like Viktor, we all have a choice. We can choose to find the positives in the negatives.

Worth Remembering … “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound. Rebuild those plans and set sail once more towards your goal.” – Napoleon Hill

Having a relationship with my son was and still is very important to me. But in order to have a relationship with my son I needed to have a relationship with his mother, my soon to be ex-wife. I had a choice to make. I could choose to be confrontational and drag out the divorce proceedings or I could choose to negotiate a settlement that we both could agree on. I choose to negotiate a fair settlement.

Is your cup half-full or half-empty?

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Sometimes It’s Best to Park Your Ego at The Door

You and I both know there are a number of ways to accomplish the same thing. Does it really have to be your way? You’re in charge. You’re going to get the credit. However, the more that you allow others to be involved in the process, the more likely it is that they will be interested in the results. Don’t let your ego get in the way of doing the kinds of things you need to do to get others to buy in to what you want to get done.

Worth Remembering … “Drop the idea that you are Atlas carrying the world on your shoulders. The world would go on even without you. Don’t take yourself too seriously. ” – Norman Vincent Peale

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have a healthy ego. Trust me, I have enough ego to fill up any room I walk into. My ego has never been in short supply.. But remember that a strength overused, or used in the wrong situation, can become a weakness. It’s like stress. A little stress in your life is not necessarily a bad thing. Without a little stress in our lives we’d turn into couch potatoes and would never get motivated enough to want to do anything.

Worth Remembering … “Bury your ego. Don’t be the star. Be the star maker.” – Bud Hadfield

A little ego gives us enough self-confidence in our own abilities to step up and take on certain tasks or play a certain role. If you have too much ego you may volunteer to take something on but then have too much pride to admit you’re in over your head and ask for help if things go wrong. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Having some humility and admitting you made a mistake is a sign of strength. Sometimes it’s best to park your ego at the door.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Sometimes Good Enough is Good Enough

Sorry if I am the one to burst your bubble but nobody is perfect. Not even you. You do not need to handicap yourself by carrying around that kind of burden. Aim for the bull’s-eye? Absolutely. Strive for perfection? Yes – always – but understand that sometimes you cannot attain the unattainable. Sometimes you are going to fall short and miss the target. Do not beat yourself up over it. You can take pride in the fact that you did your very best. That you gave it your all. And if you truly gave it your all, then you have no more to give. You can only give 100%. Learn to accept that what is is, short comings and all. Eliminate the stressors in your life, chances are you will live longer.

Worth Remembering … “An environment that calls for perfection is not likely to be easy. But aiming for it is always good progress.” – Thomas Watson Jr.

According to most psychologists’ people move in the direction that is opposite to the direction they want to avoid. In other words, perfectionists strive for perfection because they do not feel that they are perfect. Because they somehow feel inferior to other people in certain situations and try to overcome their perceived short comings. In the long run, striving for perfection can destroy your self-confidence. In most cases perfection is highly overrated.

Worth Remembering … “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” Vince Lombardi

Paralysis by analysis. Over thinking can be a deal breaker. There is no such thing as the perfect plan. You cannot think of everything that could or would go wrong. If you wait for perfect before executing your plan, when early action would have been preferable, you stand the chance of missing your opportunity for success. In most cases perfection is highly over rated. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about \Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com or contact him directly at: brian@briansmithpld.com