Category Archives: Networking

Managing Your Boss and Living to Tell About It 2

Leadership Development, Management, Networking, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

images (36)The key to managing your boss is to manage them in a style they like. One thing you need to know for certain is you are not going to change them. They’ve been successful managing a certain way so why would they want to do it any differently? If you want to learn how to manage your boss and live to tell about it then you must change your style to be more in tune with theirs. Everyone has a natural style of behaving. A natural way of communicating and interacting with others. Everyone likes to manage and be managed a certain way. Learn to mirror their behavior.

Different strokes for different folks. I believe we are born one of four styles of behaving. (Dominate, Interactive, Steadiness and Conscientious. The theory of DISC was developed by Dr. William Marston.) Take time to discover your bosses style and then communicate and interact with them that way.

D Style: (Dominant) They walk fast, talk fast and do everything fast. Make communication brief and to the point. Don’t muddy the water by using graphs, charts and volumes of data. Respect their need for autonomy. Be prepared for blunt, demanding approaches. They lack empathy and are uncomfortable with social interaction so they see no need for idle chit-chat.

I Style: (Interactive / Interpersonal) Don’t be in a hurry. They prefer a relaxed and social environment. Let them verbalize their thoughts and feelings. They are great communicators so be prepared for someone who will attempt to persuade and influence others. Provide them with the information they’ll need to make the right decisions. They like being the center of attention.

S Style: (Steadiness) Be logical and systematic in your approach. They have a natural resistance to change. They prefer to know how things will be done ahead of time – preferably in writing. They have a difficult time identifying priorities and meeting deadlines. Teach them how to say no nicely because they usually say yes to everything. They are the ultimate team player never wanting to let anyone down.

C Style: (Conscientious) They value high standards – they strive to be perfect. Be prepared – know what you know. They have very little patience for vague generalizations. Chances are they will double-check your work so let them know what you don’t know but assure them that you’ll go and find out. Don’t make stuff up. They are all about detail. They love pie charts and graphs.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker or workshop facilitator? Give Brian a call. He’ll work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Visit http://briansmithpld.com

Going Along to Get Along – The Art of Working With People You Don’t Like 1

Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Management, Networking, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

grumpy ladyYou may not like some of the people you work with – but the truth is – you need to learn how to get along with them. Think of a job that you could do in your life time that didn’t involve working with people. You’d be hard pressed to come up with one.  Dealing with difficult people and challenging situations is a learned behavior. You just need to decide if it’s worth it. But trust me – If you are looking for a career in sales, owning and operating a business some day or managing and leading others then it’s not open for debate – the ability to get along with others is a must have.

Think of someone you are having difficulty connecting with. You don’t know why but there is something about them that drives you crazy. There is something about them that makes you want to pick up a heavy object and smack them across the side of the head. Before you do something that might get you arrested give this 3-step process a try. Remember – you don’t have to like them you just need to learn how to work with them. The 3 R’s will teach you how.

Rapport: Find out something about them that you could use to strike up a conversation. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children or grand children? What do they like to do in their spare time? Do they like to hunt, fish, play golf or read books? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they like. You need to get them talking. Idle chit-chat is important to establish rapport. And you need to establish rapport to move to the next level. You can’t develop a relationship with someone until you’ve established rapport first.

Relationship: Successful sales people understand the value of developing a relationship with their clients. People like to do business with and buy products or services from people they like. You need to develop a relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You need to develop a relationship with the people you’re going to manage or lead. No one wants to let a friend down. If they like you they will go to great lengths so they don’t disappoint you. You need to develop a relationship before you can move on to the final step – respect.

Respect: The final step in this 3-step process is respect. If you have established a rapport and developed a relationship with the people you work with and interact with, then chances are they will respect you for you. They may not like what you said or what you did but, they will respect you and will most likely forgive you. However, keep in mind that respect is reciprocal. You must give it to get it. You can’t demand it. People respect people that they have developed a relationship with.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can deliver an entertaining and informative session on a variety of soft-skills topics including; communication, time management, coping with stress and dealing with difficult people and challenging situations better? Contact Brian today. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

Stop Doing What Doesn’t Work 14

Leadership Development, Networking, New Year's Resolutions, Personal Development, Planning • Tags: , , , , , , ,

fortune-telling It’s that time of year again when we sit down and reflect on the year that was and start making plans for the year ahead. Are you great at making New Year Resolutions but somehow manage to fall short of actually accomplishing them? You are not alone. According to a recent study, only 10% of those who make a list of resolutions manage to see it through.

Perhaps it’s time to stop doing what doesn’t work and try something different for 2014. Like most of us I was in that 90% group until I read a blog post by Chris Brogan. Chris suggested that I pick 3 action words that best describes the things that I wanted to accomplish for the coming year. So with nothing to lose and much to gain I picked Ask, Health and Networking. I decided that everything I set out to do in 2013 had to be a reflection of those 3-action words or I wasn’t going to do it. I gotta tell you – it works – it forced me to do things that I normally wouldn’t bother doing. Even though I knew I should.

ASK: I use to sit back and wait to be asked – not now – I ask for what I want. If you don’t ask you don’t get. You have to ask for what you want out of life because chances are no one else is going to offer it to you. You have to ask for that raise, ask for that promotion or ask to go out on a date with that special someone. I sent out more proposals this year then I ever have and they are paying dividends. 

HEALTH: I rarely ate breakfast or lunch. I would go all day without eating until I sat down at the end of my day for dinner. I knew it wasn’t the right way to go about taking care of my health but I never felt like taking the time to cook myself a meal. I now religiously eat breakfast, lunch and dinner – regardless of whether I feel like it or not.

NETWORK: In spite of what some people may think I’m actually a pretty shy guy and rarely go out of my way to meet and greet new people. I’ve gone to more events and meet-ups this year then I ever have. Which in my line of work is a good thing. I realized that the only way to expand my circle of influence was to get actively involved. I attended my first networking event and MC’d a fashion showcase this year.

Thinking of trying something different this year? Think of 3 action words that will help motivate you to accomplish your goals in 2014. Here’s the thing. Every time you go to do something – if it isn’t a reflection of your action words – then you shouldn’t do it. If it’s not going to move you a step closer to achieving your goals – then why bother? My 3 actions words for 2014 are No, Yes and Exercise. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can inform as well as entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Are you planning a leadership development training session? Give Brian a call. Visit http://briansmithpld.com

Action Speaks Volumes About You 4

Leadership Development, Networking, New Year's Resolutions, Personal Development • Tags: , , , , , , ,

 It’s time to stop talking about the life you want and start doing something to make it happen. Life is a planned event – wishing and hoping won’t make it so. Instead of writing out your list of New Year Resolutions try something different this year. Think of 3 action words that will motivate you and help you to move closer to your goals. I got this idea from Susan Murphy (http://www.suzemuse.com) – who got the idea from Chris Brogan (http://www.chrisbrogan.com) – who started using this goal setting technique back in 2006. As Chris explains it “Think of a word that gives you the HUGE picture, not the small picture”.

Everything you set out to do – should be reflected in your 3 words. If it isn’t then that’s a strong indication that you are spending time and energy doing something that won’t help you accomplish your goals. And if it’s not going to move you closer to accomplishing your goals – then you have to ask yourself why are you doing it?

The 3 words I’ve chosen for myself this year are – Ask, Health and Network. I’m going to concentrate on these 3 things to motivate me to achieve the goals I’ve set for myself.

ASK – I’m going to ask more this year. I’m going to ask for more of the things that I want – instead of hanging back hoping someone will offer them to me. I figure if I don’t ask – I won’t get. If I ask for what I want – what’s the worst thing that can happen? Either they say no – and if the answer is no I really haven’t lost anything because you can’t lose something you never had. Or they can say yes. And if they say yes – then mission accomplished.

HEALTH – I haven’t been treating myself as well as I should be. I’m going to take better care of myself. I realize without my health – everything else falls by the wayside. I was never big on eating 3 meals a day – specially breakfast. But everything I read – and everyone I talk to – tell me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So this year – I’m going to eat breakfast. I’ll have a light lunch and a healthy dinner. (I’m going to pay close attention to my portion size and sugar intake – limiting my sugar intake to 15 grams a day) I’m going to exercise more. I’m going to spend 20 minutes a day – stretching – doing push-ups and sit-ups to help strengthen my center core. I’m going to take more “Me” time this year. I’m going to schedule more time off to do things other than work. I’m going to read more, relax more and play more.

NETWORK – Marketing has never been my strong suite. I’ve never been the one to knock on doors to get the word out.  I’m not a joiner. I’ve never been big on joining social clubs or associations. But this year I’m going to expand my circle of influence. I’m going to reach out more – attend social functions – and networking events.  I’m going to give more of myself to those who have a need for my expertise without expecting anything in return. I’m going to pay it forward more.

What 3 words are you going to pick? What 3 words will help motivate you to achieve your goals? Give it a try. You’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain. Make this year your best year yet. – Cheers 🙂