Category Archives: Personal Development

There is a More Intelligent Way to Disagree

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized

Making tough decisions carries risks, and inevitably, not everyone will agree with the decisions you have to make. Handling uncomfortable situations can be difficult, but if you have developed a relationship built on trust and mutual respect with those you work with and interact with, chances are they will take a leap of faith, knowing that you have their best interests in mind. They will understand that we can agree to disagree. That it need not be adversarial.

The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree but are too cowardly to let you know. – Napoleon.

We can express our differing opinions while maintaining respect and civility towards those with whom we disagree. There is a more intelligent way to disagree. Here are my top ten ways. Which ones will you need to master?

1 – Listen actively. Give the speaker your undivided attention. Do not interrupt.

2 – Use ‘I’ statements. Statements like ‘If I heard you correctly, you said ….’

3 – Acknowledge their point of view. Paraphrase what they said so they know you heard them.

4 – Stay composed. Don’t overreact. Don’t become emotional.

5 – Focus on issues. Do not resort to personal attacks and name-calling.

6 – Ask open-ended questions for clarity, so you understand their point of view.

7 – Find common ground that you both can agree on. Negotiate a win-win.

8 – Avoid generalizations and assumptions. Be specific.

9 – Practice empathy. Try to see things from their perspective.

10 – End on a positive note. Respect the fact that they have a right to express their opinion, even if you disagree with it, as long as they do it respectfully and professionally.

We need not all agree, but if we disagree, let us not be disagreeable in our disagreements. – M.R. DeHann.

The common denominator in all that we do is people. People skills, also referred to as soft skills, encompass our ability to communicate and interact effectively with others, which are skills that can be developed and improved. If you can learn how to disagree without being confrontational, you will have discovered the secret to getting along with people, especially with those you disagree with. It will serve you well in business, family relations and life. Conflict in itself is unavoidable; how you resolve it is optional. There is a more intelligent way to disagree.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced with permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning a training session at your location? Brian works with people who want to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams, resolve conflicts or motivate others to perform at their best. He will tailor a presentation that is right for you, your team, and your organization.

When Did Empathy Become a Bad Thing

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

If you look up empathy in the dictionary, it means being aware of and sharing another person’s feelings, experiences, and emotions. Empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to the feelings and thoughts fully communicated in an objectively clear manner, thereby vicariously experiencing them. Why is trying to see things from another person’s point of view considered taboo? When did empathy become a bad thing?

We have two ears but only one mouth. Some people suggest that it is because we should spend twice as much time listening as talking. Others suggest it’s because listening, really listening to what is being said, is twice as hard. – Dr. Ralph Nichols.

There is a big difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is that you heard something – listening is that you understood what you heard. Having the ability to really listen to someone is an acquired skill. We are not ‘wired’ to be a good listener. A recent survey revealed that individuals listen about 25 percent of the time, most people only recall 50 percent of what they hear, and 70 percent of all misunderstandings occur because people don’t truly listen to each other. The good news is we can learn to be good listeners.

In the industrial age, the CEO sat at the top of the hierarchy and didn’t have to listen to anybody. However, in the information age, you have to listen to the ideas of people, regardless of gender, generation or position within the organization. – John Scully.

To become a great listener, master these three key listener skills.

1 – Pay attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention. Do not interrupt.

2 – Paraphrase what the speaker said so they know you understood their point of view. If need be, ask open-ended questions for clarity.

3 – Pause and reflect on what was said. Do not become emotional.; respond respectfully in a professional manner. Remember Covey – ‘I listen to understand, not necessarily to agree. We are adults and we can agree to disagree.’

Always keep this in mind. Active listening, receiving the message as it was intended, is as essential to effective communication as speaking. You won’t learn a thing if you keep talking. Pay attention – paraphrase what the speaker said – pause and reflect before responding respectfully and professionally. When did empathy become a bad thing?

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event, or planning a training session at your location? Brian specializes in soft skills training and leadership development. He works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, resolve conflicts, build collaborative teams or motivate others to perform at their best.

Do You Have The Skills To Lead In Uncertain Times

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

The world of work is changing. What are you doing to help yourself and your management team keep pace with those changes? Are the leadership skills that got you here the same skills that will get you and your team to where you need to go to manage and lead in uncertain times?

Quotes Worth Remembering – ‘Before you are a leader, success is about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is about growing others.’ – Jack Welch.

Here are four skills that will distinguish you from a so-so leader to an exceptional one. Which ones are you good at – and which ones will you have to learn?

Connecting. Exceptional leaders can bring people together with diverse backgrounds and skill sets, and have them perform as a team. Exceptional leaders understand that teamwork makes the whole thing work.

Communicating. Exceptional leaders have the ability to communicate in a way that everyone will understand. Exceptional leaders understand that if they can’t communicate up, down and across the organization regardless of gender or generation, then they can’t manage or lead them.

Educating. Exceptional leaders understand that you rarely get to hire someone who is fully trained. Exceptional leaders realize that their role is to fill the skills gap by teaching others what they need to know to sustain and grow the organization.

Delegating. Exceptional leaders understand that they must relinquish control to gain control. Exceptional leaders know that they can’t control everything and be everywhere all at once. They understand that they must delegate some of their tasks and responsibility to others, and stay out of their way and let them do their job.

Quotes Worth Remembering. – ‘The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what needs to be done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.’ – Theodore Roosevelt.

You now have the potential to work with four generations simultaneously. Each generation – Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and the newest generation to enter the workforce, Alpha prefer to be managed and led differently. People skills, often referred to as soft skills, are essential skills. Without the ability to connect with others, communicate in a way that everyone understands, educate them on what they need to know, and delegate when necessary, you stand little chance of managing or leading them. Do you have the skills to lead in uncertain times?

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event, or planning a training session at your location? Brian specializes in soft skills training and leadership development. He will customize a session that is right for you and your organization.

Are You Leading or Just Managing

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

True leaders develop more leaders, not grow more followers. True leaders understand that their role is to bring people with different skill sets together, empower them by teaching them what they need to know, and then get out of their way and let them do it. Are you leading or just managing?

Worth Remembering – Bury your ego. Don’t be the star. Be the star maker. – Bud Hadfield.

Whether you are a first-time team leader, supervisor, manager or a seasoned veteran looking to enhance your ability to manage and lead others more successfully, you must master these four leadership skills – Connecting, Communicating, Educating and Delegating.

Connecting. To have or establish rapport. Connect – to join together – to join with or become joined with something else. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Your success as a manager or leader begins and ends with your ability to bring people together. If you can’t connect on an emotional level with others, you stand little chance of managing or leading them.

Communicating. To convey knowledge of or information about. To cause to pass from one to another. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. If you can’t communicate in a way that others will understand, then you can’t manage or lead them. There isn’t a more valuable skill for managers or leaders to have than the ability to communicate effectively up, down and across the organization.

Educating. To train by formal instruction and supervised practice, especially in a skill, trade or profession. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. You rarely, if ever, get to hire someone who is fully trained. Your role as a manager or leader is to fill the skills gap by teaching them what they need to know and do to sustain and grow the organization.

Delegating. To entrust to another. To appoint as one’s representative. Merriam-Webster Dictionary. If you fail to delegate some of your responsibility to those on your team, you are robbing them of their opportunity to grow. You can’t be in all places and do everything by yourself. You must learn to relinquish control to gain control. You must resist the urge to micromanage them.

Worth Remembering – To create human capital, a company needs to foster teamwork, communities of practice, and other social forms of learning. – Thomas Stewart.

Are you leading or just managing? If you haven’t mastered connecting, communicating, educating and delegating, you aren’t leading. You are just managing.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. If you want to put these four leadership skills into practice, Brian’s book – ‘Leadership Lessons from a Reformed Control Freak – A 4-Step Guide to Developing 21st. Century Leaders‘ is available on Amazon and includes a 4-week online leadership development workshop. – ASIN – 0987845926.