You Are What You Think and Do 14

Life’s a circle. You get back what ever you put out. Attitude – your attitude is everything – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can – or can’t – you’re right. The difference between those who accomplish what they set out to do – and those who don’t – are those who have an unshakeable belief in themselves. They truly believe they will achieve what ever they set out to do. They don’t let self-doubt creep in and sabotage themselves.

 Worth Remembering … “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams and endeavors to live the life that they imagined, they will meet with success unexpected in common hours” – Henry David Thoreau

I’m not going to get too deep here – but your internal dialogue (what you say to yourself) has everything to do with how you see yourself. We all feel insecure and unsure of ourselves at times. We all have self-doubt – especially if we are attempting to do something for the very first time. Don’t let failure get in the way of you taking that first step. Self-doubt translates into a lack of confidence – which causes us to think negative thoughts – which in turn causes us to hold back and give up easily rather than face tough challenges. Have enough confidence in yourself – and your abilities – that you can accomplished anything you set out to do.

Worth Remembering … “Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence.” – Seneca.

World class athletes, just like world-class actors visualize a gold medal – Oscar-winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their mind’s eye what their performance will look like. They see themselves being successful. They see themselves as winners not whiners. You need to start acting like a winner. The more you do it – the more you will become it. (Think it, act it, become it) The better people think they are, the better they will be.

Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your self-confidence:

  • Look for a role model or a mentor: What do they do that makes them appear confident? Act like they act and you’ll eventually begin to act like they act. When you change the habit – you change the result.
  • Focus on your achievements not your failures: Focus on what you did well – and what you are going to improve upon the next time. We can all improve. Failure is not fatal. Not getting back up and trying again is. 
  • Be prepared for any task: Nothing beats thinking and planning it out. You can’t be prepared for everything but you should be able to predict the kinds of things that could go wrong and what you’ll do if it happens.
  • Expect the unexpected: Remember nothing – and I mean nothing – ever goes exactly as planned. You need to learn to go with the flow and have confidence in your own ability to deal with what ever gets thrown your way.  

Remember – You are what you think and do. 

Dr. Nathaniel Branden – a Lecturer and practicing psychotherapists who has done more that any other theorist to advocate the importance of self-esteem to human well-being – and author of “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” believes that the value of self-esteem lies not merely in the fact that it allows us to feel better but that it allows us to live better – to respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully and more appropriately. Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important as the one we pass on ourselves. 🙂

Copyright 2012. Brian Smith. Excerpts for this article were taken from Brian’s soon-to-be published book self-help book “Get-A-Grip – Wishing and Hoping Won’t Make it Happen”

Take Covey’s Advice – It’s 100% in Your Control 3

I know that I can’t control everything that goes on around me. I know most outcomes are out of my hands. But I do know that I can control how I choose to react in any given situation. I know that in that space between stimulus and response that Dr. Covey talked about – and what Dr. Viktor Frankl knew to be true from his own life experiences – that I must learn to react in a way that will get me what I want. Everything you do in life is a matter of choice. You may not like the choices that you have to choose from – but it is a choice.

“If you change the way you look at things. The things you look at will change” – Unknown

Having a relationship with my son was and still is very important to me. (I was not his most favorite person when his mother and I were going through our divorce) But I knew that if I wanted to have a good relationship with my son I had to have a good relationship with his mother. I had a choice to make. The divorce could be adversarial or not. I could choose to be confrontational and drag out the divorce proceedings, or I could choose to be open and receptive and negotiate a settlement that his mother and I could agree on. I knew that if I wanted what I wanted – which was a relationship with my son – then I needed to react in a way that was going to accomplish that. My ex-wife will always be my sons mother and my granddaughters grandmother whether we were married or not. Nothing I could do would ever change that. It is what it is – it would make no never mind.

“Everything can be taken away from man but one thing – to choose – one’s own attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl

I’m happy to say that my ex-wife and I have a great relationship. She is one of my very best friends. I know that I can turn to her for help when I need it and she knows she can count on me if and when she needs my help. (That’s what friends do) That’s a conscious choice I made.

Attitude really is everything. I’m talking about yours, not the people you work with and interact with on a daily basis. If you think about it – your attitude is the only thing you can control 100% of the time. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. Yes it’s true – other people or events may be the motivating factor that got you to react a certain way – but only you can mentally or physically do it. No one else can do it for you. You are the only one who can give that kind of power over you away. Take Covey’s advice. In that space between stimulus and response think about what you want to accomplish and then respond in a way that will get you what you want. Remember – It’s 100% in your control. – Cheers, 🙂