Category Archives: Coaching

Without Trust You Can’t Lead

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Management, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personal Values, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher

TrustTrust and respect do not come automatically just because you’ve been given a title or own the business. You must earn both – one person at a time. Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process that you must go through when meeting someone for the very first time. Some will go through this process easier than others, while others will have to work at it. Why establish trust? Because sometimes you need others to take you at your word. They will be more inclined to do that if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe that you have their best interest in mind. Walter Winston may have given us the best reason why establishing trust is so important when he said – “In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake … people in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity”.

Establishing trust with the people you work with and interact with is a 3-step process, often referred to as the 3 R’s. – Rapport, Relationship and Respect.

Worth Remembering … You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie. 

Rapport: If you want people to be interested in you-you must be interested in them. Get to know the person for more than the job they do. Get to know them on a personal level. Find out what they like to do outside of work. Do they have a hobby? Are they married, do they have children? What do they like to do for fun? To establish rapport you need to show genuine interest in them. You need to be able to carry on a conversation about them.  You stand little chance of developing a relationship without first establishing rapport.

Worth Remembering … What is uttered from the heart alone, will win the hearts of others to your own. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Relationship:  Once you have established a rapport you are ready to take the next step in establishing mutual respect. People quit managers they don’t quit companies. How much fun are you to be around? People like to work with and hang around with people they like. Friends don’t like to let their friends down. If you have built your relationship on a solid foundation by creating a friendly environment to work in then people will want to perform well for you.

Worth Remembering … They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Carl W. Buechner 

Respect: The final step in establishing trust is respect. You will never respect anyone that you haven’t developed a relationship with first. How often have you heard someone say that they didn’t agree with what was said but they respected the fact that they had a right to express their opinion? People who respect one another can agree to disagree and move on. If I respect you – I will trust you even if I don’t agree with you.

Worth Remembering … I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. – Friedrich Nietzsche 

If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will be able to establish trust in your relationships based on mutual respect. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. Trust is important because sometimes you need others to take a leap of faith. Establishing trust is important because sometimes you need people to follow you even when you don’t have all the answers. They will if they trust you. They will trust you if they believe you have their best interest in mind. Without trust you can’t lead.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a Professional Speaker or Seminar Leader who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call – he will work with you one-on-one to ensure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com

Have You Ever Licked a 9volt Battery?

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Leadership Development, Management, Mentorship, Personal Development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

pexels-photo-67102.jpegHave you ever licked a 9-volt battery? (I’m not suggesting that you do – I’m just asking if you have). When adults do something that makes them feel good – that gets them excited – what are they more apt to do? If you licked a 9-volt battery and you liked that sensation – then more than likely you’d lick it again. I believe the key to motivating someone is to figure out what turns their crank – figure out what they are looking to get out of the deal. People do things for their own reason – not yours.  All you have to do is figure out what’s in it for them and use that to get them to do what you need to get done.

#Worth Remembering – It’s only when a person has their own generator that we can talk about motivation. They need no outside stimulation. – Frederick Herzberg 

What motivates you to do what you do? I believe everyone can be motivated. I’m certain of that. But not everyone is motivated by the same thing – or in the same way. Some people are motivated by money. Some people are motivated by a fancy job title or that premier parking spot. You need to create an environment where people will want to motivate themselves. Trust me – if you have the means to help them get what’s in it for them – then you have their attention. If you don’t – they won’t be motivated enough to try.

#Worth Remembering – Smith’s Motivation Equation: Personal Want + Goal-Directed Behaviour = What’s in for me. People will act in a way that will get them what they want. 

If you can’t find a way to motivate others, you can’t lead. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. Most people are self-serving and will only do something if they are going to get something out of the deal. Even someone who volunteers their time and energy is getting something from it or they wouldn’t keep volunteering. The next time you need to motivate someone to do what needs to be done – try the carrot, what’s in it for them, instead of using the stick approach. Trust me – it works every time. It’s like licking a 9-volt battery.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Brian’s available for keynote speeches or facilitating workshops on a variety of soft-skills topics.  To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Would You Work For You?

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Enduring Principles, Ethics, Leadership Development, Management, Personal Development, Personal Values, Personality Types, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

judge-with-gavel1Would you work for you? Would you work for a Boss who belittles you, and berates you in front of your co-workers, instead of behind closed doors? Would you work for a Boss who always needs to be right – even when they are wrong.? Would you work for a Boss who promises you something one day – and then takes it away from you the next? Does this sound all too familiar? Chances are we’ve all worked for a Boss just like that. I believe great Bosses aren’t born – they’re made. If given the chance, what kind of Boss would you be? Take a moment and think about that. If you had to put a list together of the top ten things a great Boss should be – what would you put on your list?

I think a great Boss should be:

  1. Patient: Able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or impatient.
  2. Open-minded: Be willing to accept new ideas.
  3. Honest: The quality of being honest.
  4. Empathetic: Show an ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
  5. Flexible: Demonstrate a willingness to change or compromise.
  6. Trustworthy: Have the ability to be relied on, to be honest, or truthful.
  7. Fair: Treat others in a way that is right or reasonable and not allowing personal opinions to influence their judgement.
  8. Consistent: Acting or doing things in the same way over time, especially to be fair or accurate.
  9. Loyal: Give firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or organization.
  10. Compassionate: Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others regardless of their standing or position.

People don’t quit companies – they quit lousy Bosses. Always remember that you get to decide what kind of Boss you want to be. Culture is created from the top down, never the bottom up. Most people, if given a choice, would rather not be the Boss. But everyone gets to decide what kind of Boss they want to follow. Keep that in mind the next time you’re given the opportunity. Be the kind of Boss you’d like to follow. Ask yourself – would you work for you? If the answer is no – then you need to change.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith-PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or someone to conduct an in-house training session on soft-skills training or leadership development? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com

Being a Passionatepreneur is Never Enough

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Competitive Advantage, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Mentorship, Personal Development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Teacher

entrepreneurshipBeing passionate about becoming an Entrepreneur is only the beginning. It’s going to take a great deal more than just being passionate about your small business to be successful. Being passionate is a good start – It will get you out of the starting blocks but it won’t get you to the finish line. The majority of small businesses fail. A study conducted by Eileen Fisher, Schulich School of Business concluded that thirty percent of all new small businesses fail within the first two years, and only half make it to year five. Some of those failures are out of their control. It wasn’t because they weren’t passionate. They failed because they lacked the management or financial skills they needed to succeed.

#Worth Remembering … I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. – Thomas Jefferson. 

Being an Entrepreneur and starting your own small business is not for the faint of heart. You have to be comfortable flying without a net. You have to be comfortable with not knowing where your next pay cheque is going to come from. You have to be comfortable with not having all the answers all of the time. You have to decide what you are willing to give up to succeed. Tom Brady, Wayne Gretzky or Tiger Woods didn’t succeed by being lucky. Luck had nothing to do with it. Did they catch a break now and again? Absolutely. However, the truth of the matter is, they became the best at their sport because they were willing to put in the time and effort needed to succeed.   How much time and effort are you willing to put in?

#Worth Remembering … Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t so you can live the rest of your life like most people can’t – Unknown 

You aren’t going to be great at everything but I believe you must be good at most things. If you study successful entrepreneurs you’ll discover they have some common characteristics. If you had to put a list together what would be your top five? Here are my top five.  I’ve listed them here in no particular order.

  1. Time Management: Be able to manage your time well. Learn to prioritize what needs to be done, so that you do the most important things first. Sometimes that will mean doing things that you don’t like to do. Don’t waste your valuable time on things that won’t help you succeed.
  2. Open-Mindedness: You only know what you know – you don’t know what you don’t know – and it’s what you don’t know that could sink you. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice, and be smart enough to use it.
  3. Patience: However long you think it’s going to take you to accomplish a task, times that by two. Rarely does anything happen just the way you thought it would. Learn to take a deep breath and count to ten. All good things happen to those who wait.
  4. Communicate: You must be able to communicate in a way that others will understand. If you can’t communicate both verbally and by the written word, then you stand little chance of being understood.
  5. Goal Setting: Have a clear vision of what you want to achieve and then put a plan together to get there. However, you need to be flexible enough to change or adjust your plan if it’s not going to help you achieve your goal.

I taught Entrepreneurship for over a dozen years at Algonquin College’s School of Business. On the first day of class, I would give the students my “Dorothy doesn’t live here anymore” speech.  I’d tell them if I haven’t talked you out of being an Entrepreneur by the end of the semester than chances are you might succeed. If I have talked you out of being an Entrepreneur than I have saved you from yourself. Either way, it would be a win-win. I would have done my job and you would have learned a thing or two. Being a Passionpreneur is never enough.

Copyright (c) 2018. Brian Smith – PLD. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or seminar leader who can deliver an entertaining and informative presentation on a variety of soft-skills topics? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit https://briansmithpld.com