Category Archives: Coaching

Lost in Translation

Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Management, Mentorship, Personal Development, Planning, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher • Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Positive Feeback“You cannot love a person into creativity, although you can avoid their dissatisfaction with the way you treat them” – Frederick Herzberg. Words are powerful. The words you choose and how you say them have the power to build people up or tear them down. Drawing attention to a person’s mistakes is not going to be received well. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t take “constructive criticism” personally. According to Collins Dictionary “construct” means to build while “criticism” means to pass judgement on someone. How can you build someone up while passing judgement on them?

You have a choice to make. You can either dwell on what they’ve done wrong or congratulate them on what they’ve done well – and what they need to do to improve. It can be as simple as replacing the word “but” with “and”. You can either dwell on the fact that they have made a mistake – or you can get past it by accepting the fact that everyone makes mistakes and move on from there. What is – is. What happened – happened. Change your mindset in a positive way by thinking about the mistakes people make as teachable moments. Use the opportunity to praise them for what they’ve done well and teach them what they need to do the next time , so they don’t keep repeating what went wrong.

Creating a teachable moment is an opportunity for both of you to grow. You’ll grow as a teacher and they’ll grow as a person by learning a new skill that will help them perform better in the future. The next time you have an opportunity to create a teachable moment use the sandwich technique. “Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise” – Mary Kay Ash. It’s a great way to keep your emotions in check and to turn the situation into a positive experience for both of you. You don’t want to change them – you just want to change what went wrong.

Step One: Start the conversation off by saying something positive about them or what they’ve done. Or how they contribute to the overall success of the team, department, organization, etc.. Remember – You are not looking to change them – you just want to change what they are doing that’s not getting the results you are looking for.

Step Two: Let them know the negative impact their actions are having and what problems they are creating. Let them know you are there to help them succeed. Ask some good open-ended questions to drill down and find out why these mistakes are happening. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. Get their input on what needs to be done to fix it. Agree on a plan of action. You need to get buy-in so be sure to include their ideas in the plan.

Step Three: Let them know that you are looking forward to working with them. Let them know that you will be following up with them to make sure that the plan you’ve agreed on is getting the desired results. If not – you need to agree on a new plan. People do what you inspect not what you expect. Follow up, follow-up and then follow-up some more. You need to change the habit to change the result.

 Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker or planning an in-house training session? Brian specializes in soft-skills training and leadership development. Contact Brian today. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out what Brian can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Mothers Are The Ultimate Control Freaks

Coaching, Enduring Principles, Ethics, Leadership Development, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personal Values • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

IMG_20140511_145439A “BIG” high-five to all the Mothers out there. Without your love, guidance and dedication most of us would not be here. I hope everyone got the chance to be with their Mom or at least talk with her on her special day. I’m one of the lucky ones because I got to spend Mothers Day with my Mom. Having my four brothers and sister there was a bonus. It’s been more than 50 years since all of us where together on Mothers Day. Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s was an interesting time. Perhaps not as challenging as it is now – but with eight of us living under the same roof, it had its moments. And through it all my Mother was able to maneuver the ship through the occasional rough sea and stay the course without ending up on the rocks and sinking.  Mothers are the ultimate control freaks but they control in a very special way.

Mothers are Teachers: My Mom taught me the difference between right and wrong.  To be respectful of others. To be kind. To help those in need. She taught me how to be a man. And more importantly she taught me how to be a parent.

Mothers are Referees: In spite of growing up with four competitive brothers and one sister in the house my Mom still managed to keep the peace. She’d have to intervene once in a while and make us go to neutral corners and take a much deserved time out. My Mom walked quietly but carried a big stick. She just had to give you that certain look and you understood.

Mothers are Guidance Councilors:  My Mom was the voice of reason. She guided me with a soft-hand and a gentle push. I could always count on her to be my soft-place to fall so I was never afraid to venture out on my own and take chances.

Thank you Mom. I love you. I am forever in your debt.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a keynote speaker or workshop facilitator who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics including: powerful communication strategies, time management and personal effectiveness or how to deal with difficult people and challenging situations better? Visit http://briansmithpld.com

Leadership Lessons – Fluent in Friendliness? Apply Within

Coaching, Competitive Advantage, Customer Service, Dealing with Difficult People, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personality Types, Soft-Skills Training, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fluent in Friendliness? Apply Within. Hats off to Lowe’s who posted that sign outside of their newest location under construction. I spent 30 years in the retail business both as a general manager and business owner –  so that sign naturally caught my attention. The one-on-one service that you provide to your customer is the only competitive advantage that you have. It’s not your product or service. It’s not your selection or price. The only competitive advantage that you have to set yourself apart from your competition is the level of customer service you provide.

Every time you come in contact with a perspective client it’s a moment of truth. Every time you come in contact with a perspective client they get to decide if they want to continue to do business with you or not. And most often that decision is based upon the way they feel they have been treated. When was the last time you had “Wow” customer service? When was the last time you got “So-So” customer service? I’ll bet the “So-So” out numbered the “Wow” ten to one. (Ten so-so to one wow)

You don’t need to like everyone you come in contact with – But if you want to get repeat business you need to learn how to get along with them. The same holds true with the people you work with.  You don’t have to like them or socialize with them – But you do need to learn how to interact and collaborate with them. If you’re the one who gets to pick who is on your team you need to make sure you’ve surrounded yourself with people who like being around people. Managers and business owners need  to make sure they hire people who like  helping people. You can’t afford to have someone on your team who is turned off and have tuned out. You need to be just like Lowe’s and hire people who are “Fluent in Friendliness” and get rid of the ones who aren’t.  🙂

 

What Legacy Will You Leave Behind? 9

Coaching, Enduring Principles, Mentorship, Personal Values, Teacher

A hero, a teacher, a mentor, a coach – both on and off the field. A good father – a father who loved his six children unconditionally and was proud of the adults they had become. He loved his grand children and his great-grandchildren. A man who adored his wife – and for the 66+ years that they were married he did everything he could to make her the centre of his world.

A go getter. An achiever. Someone who was all in no matter what he was doing. He figured if you are going to put in the effort – you might as well give it your all – because you just never know how far it will take you or where you’ll end up.

He was a kind man who reached out to his friends when ever he could.  He was fun to be around and hang out with. He was a story-teller. He was not a saint or a sinner. He believed in God but didn’t force his beliefs on others. He was a proud Canadian who wore his colours on his sleeve and fought to defend our rights and freedoms.

He was my Dad. He passed away yesterday on his terms – quietly and at peace. I will miss him dearly. I have a lifetime of memories to keep me company until we meet again. Bye Dad – I love you – but you already knew that. 🙂