Category Archives: Dealing with Difficult People

There is a More Intelligent Way to Disagree

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized

Making tough decisions carries risks, and inevitably, not everyone will agree with the decisions you have to make. Handling uncomfortable situations can be difficult, but if you have developed a relationship built on trust and mutual respect with those you work with and interact with, chances are they will take a leap of faith, knowing that you have their best interests in mind. They will understand that we can agree to disagree. That it need not be adversarial.

The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree but are too cowardly to let you know. – Napoleon.

We can express our differing opinions while maintaining respect and civility towards those with whom we disagree. There is a more intelligent way to disagree. Here are my top ten ways. Which ones will you need to master?

1 – Listen actively. Give the speaker your undivided attention. Do not interrupt.

2 – Use ‘I’ statements. Statements like ‘If I heard you correctly, you said ….’

3 – Acknowledge their point of view. Paraphrase what they said so they know you heard them.

4 – Stay composed. Don’t overreact. Don’t become emotional.

5 – Focus on issues. Do not resort to personal attacks and name-calling.

6 – Ask open-ended questions for clarity, so you understand their point of view.

7 – Find common ground that you both can agree on. Negotiate a win-win.

8 – Avoid generalizations and assumptions. Be specific.

9 – Practice empathy. Try to see things from their perspective.

10 – End on a positive note. Respect the fact that they have a right to express their opinion, even if you disagree with it, as long as they do it respectfully and professionally.

We need not all agree, but if we disagree, let us not be disagreeable in our disagreements. – M.R. DeHann.

The common denominator in all that we do is people. People skills, also referred to as soft skills, encompass our ability to communicate and interact effectively with others, which are skills that can be developed and improved. If you can learn how to disagree without being confrontational, you will have discovered the secret to getting along with people, especially with those you disagree with. It will serve you well in business, family relations and life. Conflict in itself is unavoidable; how you resolve it is optional. There is a more intelligent way to disagree.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced with permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning a training session at your location? Brian works with people who want to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams, resolve conflicts or motivate others to perform at their best. He will tailor a presentation that is right for you, your team, and your organization.

Don’t Let Difficult People Sabotage Your Career

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Personal Development, Personality Types, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: ,

Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, Oh, yuck – what a dink? And I don’t mean Double Income No Kids. You didn’t know why; you just felt there was something about them that you didn’t like. But after spending time with them and getting to know them better, you changed your mind. Establishing a rapport and building a relationship with the people you work with and interact with is crucial to your success as a team member, manager or leader. You don’t have to socialize with everyone you work with, but you must learn how to get along with them. Don’t let difficult people sabotage your career.

Your ability to get along with others, will determine your happiness and success as much as any other factor. – Brian Tracy.

People tend to work more effectively with those they like. The 3-Rs – Rapport, Relationship, Respect will help you establish those all-important connections.

Step One – Rapport. Try to learn something about the people you work with, beyond their job responsibilities. Do they have any hobbies? What do they like to do in their spare time? To establish a rapport, you need to engage in a friendly conversation on a topic that interests them. Idle chit-chat is essential to establishing rapport.

Step Two – Relationship. Once you have established a rapport, the next step is to build a relationship. Successful salespeople recognize the importance of cultivating strong relationships with their clients. People like to do business with people they like. The same holds true for the people who work with you. They prefer to work with someone they like.

Step Three – Respect. You won’t respect anyone you haven’t built a relationship with. Mutual respect evolves. But you have to give it to get it. Being a good team member, manager, or leader isn’t about being popular, although that doesn’t hurt. If I had to choose between being liked or respected, I would choose respect. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions that may not be popular with everyone. They may disagree with the decision you made, but they will still respect you.

Unity is strength. With teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved. – Mattie Stepanek.

You have to go along to get along. However, you must also recognize that the strength of the team is comprised of individuals with diverse perspectives and personalities. Don’t expect others to be just like you. Not everyone cares as much as you care. Not everyone is as committed as you are. Not everyone has the same career aspirations as you do. Some people choose not to lead, but they do choose who they want to follow. Build those all-important relationships. Don’t let difficult people sabotage your career.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning a training session at your location? Brian works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams, resolve conflict or motivate others to perform at their best. Contact Brian to discover how he can assist you and your team.

The Top Ten Sins Mosr Managers Make and How To Avoid Them

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

We all start our management careers by making certain assumptions based on our perception of what a manager or leader should be, but we know our assumptions can be wrong. And I’m no exception. I’ve committed each one of these top ten sins at one time or another in my 40-plus-year career as general manager of a major retailer, an award-winning entrepreneur and a college professor. You can decide what kind of manager or leader you want to be. I hope you don’t make the same mistakes I did.

1 – There is no such thing as common sense. Don’t rely on common sense as part of your training program. If you haven’t taught someone how to complete a task the way you want it done, don’t assume they know how. Common sense is not common practice.

2 – You can’t motivate people. You can’t motivate people to do anything they don’t want to do. However, you can create an environment where they want to motivate themselves. If you know what they want and help them get theirs, more than likely, you’ll get yours.

3 – You ruin good people by promoting them. Just because someone is good at what they do, it doesn’t mean they will be good at doing something else. Not everyone has what it takes to manage or lead others. Promote someone who likes to work with and hang around with people. They must be teachers first and technically competent second.

4 – You don’t have to know everything. Admitting you don’t have all the answers is ok. What’s important is you know where to go to get them. Always be honest and upfront with your people. Don’t make shit up.

5 – You’re not the most important person in the conversation. Communication is everything. If the other person doesn’t receive the message as intended, then whatever you say will mean absolutely nothing. Ask open-ended questions to make sure they understand what you said.

6 – Park your ego at the door; it’s not about being right. We both know there are several ways to complete the task. It doesn’t have to be just your way. Solicit their import and build collaborative teams. The more you involve them in the process, the more likely they will want to come along.

7 – You can’t control everything all of the time. Your job as a manager or leader to teach someone what they need to know. You aren’t doing that if you aren’t sharing some of your responsibilities with the people around you. Resist the urge to micromanage them. If you don’t delegate, you rob them of their growth opportunities.

8 – You can’t demand respect; respect is reciprocal. You’ve got to give it to get it. Gaining someone’s respect is a three-step process. The first step is establishing rapport and then developing a relationship that will eventually lead to mutual respect. They won’t trust anyone they don’t respect first.

9 – People hear what they see, not what you say. You must lead by example. It’s not what you say that’s important. It’s how you go about doing it that matters most. If you look and act like one, people will believe you’re a pro.

10 – There aren’t any negatives; everything is positive. Your attitude and how you react to any situation are the only thing you can control 100 percent of the time. Bad things will happen. You need to learn the lesson and move forward. People want to follow winners, not whiners.

Copyright 2024. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning an in-house training session. Brian works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams or resolve conflict. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit his website. https;//briansmithpld.com.

Conflict is Inevitable – How You Resolve It is Optional

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personality Types, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

Conflict is inevitable when working with and interacting with others. It can diminish creativity, reduce productivity, impact decision-making and lead to a dysfunctional working environment. Building solid relationships with the people you work with and interact with is essential to resolving conflict and finding creative solutions. You don’t have to socialize with everyone you work with, but you must learn how to get along with them.

Peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope. – Gandhi.

A recent study conducted by the HayGroup, a leading authority on emotional intelligence, concluded that EQ – soft skills – are twice as important as IQ – your technical ability – for most jobs. Soft skills are the new currency in today’s workplace. If you can’t communicate effectively, actively listen to what others say and get along with them, you stand little chance of successfully resolving conflict, finding creative ways to solve problems or negotiating wins.

If we can manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development. – Kaye

Generally speaking, there are three types of conflict; Disagreement, Misunderstanding and Actual Conflict. Here is what you’ll be able to do to resolve them.

Disagreement: When you have different opinions about a subject and neither has the authority to change them, resolve them quickly. When the discussion gets old, respect each other’s views and agree to disagree.

Misunderstanding; When communication breaks down, and only part of the message gets through, resolve it with courtesy, respectful assertiveness and, most importantly, good active listening skills. You may have missed something that the other person said. Have them restate their position, and you restate yours.

Actual Conflict; You may not like them, and they may not like you. Try to separate the person from the problem and focus on their needs. Come up with all the options available to you to resolve the situation. Be sure the solutions are based on objective standards. They can’t be because you said so.

Conflict is good in a negotiation process – it’s a clash of two ideas, which then, all being well, produces a third idea. – Roberts.

When conflict happens, step back momentarily and decide what you are prepared to do to fix it. Communication is the breakfast of champions. If you can learn to communicate your point of view so that the other person will understand and actively listen to what they have to say. In that case, you will be better positioned to resolve the conflict and find a creative solution you can agree on. Conflict is inevitable; how you resolve it is optional.

Copyright 2024 – Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. This post was written by Brian without AI assistance. Are you searching for a training provider for yourself or your management team? Brian specializes in soft skills training and leadership development. He helps others to communicate more effectively, establish rapport and build strong collaborative relationships regardless of gender or generation. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit – https;//briansmithpld.com.