Category Archives: Mentorship

Me Thinketh a Monologue Doth Not a Dialogue Maketh

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

Communication isn’t just something – it’s everything. I can’t think of a more valuable skill than communicating effectively. However, communication is a two-way street. It’s an exchange of thoughts and ideas amongst one or more persons. Me thinketh a monologue doth not a dialogue maketh.

I know you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. – Alan Greenspan.

It takes a great deal of effort on both the sender’s and receiver’s part to ensure the message has been sent, received, and, most importantly, understood. I haven’t even mentioned yet how each generation and gender communicate differently. Sometimes, they are not on the same wavelength. When you add that to the mix, it’s no wonder communication can break down.

A study on gender differences by Professor Deborah Frances Tannen of Georgetown University and Professor Julia Wood of the University of North Carolina noted that;

  • Women are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking, while men are more likely to look away.
  • Men tend to jump from topic to topic, but women talk at length about one topic at a time.
  • Women are inclined to express agreement and support, while men are inclined to debate.
  • Women see communication as a way to connect and build relationships, while men see it as a way to accomplish an objective.
  • Women seek out and welcome relationships, while men think relationships will jeopardize their independence.

Avoid fight or flight; always talk through your differences. – Stephen Covey.

We aren’t born great communicators. It is a learned behaviour. Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively.

  • Ask open-ended questions for clarity to promote dialogue to ensure they have received the message.
  • Listen twice as much as you talk. You won’t learn anything if you keep talking.
  • Be more intuitive to non-verbal cues to check for points of disagreement or misunderstanding. Based on the work of Dr. Ralph Nichols, we communicate 55 percent of the time using body language alone.
  • When giving instructions, be direct and to the point. Too much information tends to overwhelm the receiver.

If the essence of communication is sending and receiving the message as intended, you must remember that you are not the most important person in the conversation. Me thinketh a monologue doth not a dialogue maketh.

Copyright 2025. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning an in-house training session. Contact Brian to learn what he can do for you, your team and your organization. Brian’s training programs include individual coaching at no extra cost.

The Top Ten Sins Mosr Managers Make and How To Avoid Them

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

We all start our management careers by making certain assumptions based on our perception of what a manager or leader should be, but we know our assumptions can be wrong. And I’m no exception. I’ve committed each one of these top ten sins at one time or another in my 40-plus-year career as general manager of a major retailer, an award-winning entrepreneur and a college professor. You can decide what kind of manager or leader you want to be. I hope you don’t make the same mistakes I did.

1 – There is no such thing as common sense. Don’t rely on common sense as part of your training program. If you haven’t taught someone how to complete a task the way you want it done, don’t assume they know how. Common sense is not common practice.

2 – You can’t motivate people. You can’t motivate people to do anything they don’t want to do. However, you can create an environment where they want to motivate themselves. If you know what they want and help them get theirs, more than likely, you’ll get yours.

3 – You ruin good people by promoting them. Just because someone is good at what they do, it doesn’t mean they will be good at doing something else. Not everyone has what it takes to manage or lead others. Promote someone who likes to work with and hang around with people. They must be teachers first and technically competent second.

4 – You don’t have to know everything. Admitting you don’t have all the answers is ok. What’s important is you know where to go to get them. Always be honest and upfront with your people. Don’t make shit up.

5 – You’re not the most important person in the conversation. Communication is everything. If the other person doesn’t receive the message as intended, then whatever you say will mean absolutely nothing. Ask open-ended questions to make sure they understand what you said.

6 – Park your ego at the door; it’s not about being right. We both know there are several ways to complete the task. It doesn’t have to be just your way. Solicit their import and build collaborative teams. The more you involve them in the process, the more likely they will want to come along.

7 – You can’t control everything all of the time. Your job as a manager or leader to teach someone what they need to know. You aren’t doing that if you aren’t sharing some of your responsibilities with the people around you. Resist the urge to micromanage them. If you don’t delegate, you rob them of their growth opportunities.

8 – You can’t demand respect; respect is reciprocal. You’ve got to give it to get it. Gaining someone’s respect is a three-step process. The first step is establishing rapport and then developing a relationship that will eventually lead to mutual respect. They won’t trust anyone they don’t respect first.

9 – People hear what they see, not what you say. You must lead by example. It’s not what you say that’s important. It’s how you go about doing it that matters most. If you look and act like one, people will believe you’re a pro.

10 – There aren’t any negatives; everything is positive. Your attitude and how you react to any situation are the only thing you can control 100 percent of the time. Bad things will happen. You need to learn the lesson and move forward. People want to follow winners, not whiners.

Copyright 2024. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a keynote speaker for your next event or planning an in-house training session. Brian works with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively, build collaborative teams or resolve conflict. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit his website. https;//briansmithpld.com.

How To Future-Proof Your Career

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

Soft skills are people skills. They are your ability to communicate and interact more effectively with others. They are your ability to negotiate and resolve conflict, devise creative ways to solve problems and build collaborative teams. Soft skills are the new currency in today’s multi-generational and diverse workplace. Without them, you will have difficulty advancing your career, managing and leading others or getting that promotion.

Worth Remembering – Don’t underestimate likeability. Likeability is a soft skill that leads to hard results. – Mo Bunnell.

If you want to future-proof your career – start here.

Learn to be more patient. There aren’t dumb students, only dumb teachers. If the student didn’t learn, the teacher didn’t teach. Adults can learn new things, but not everyone learns the same way or at the same pace, especially if they are learning something for the first time. Be patient. Don’t hurry progress.

Be open-minded. There are several ways to achieve the same result. It doesn’t have to be just your way. Resist the urge to micro-manage. Solicit input from those on your team. A good idea becomes a great idea when others participate in the process.

Become more empathetic. Try to see things from their point of view. There may be things going on that you aren’t aware of. Ask open-ended questions and discover what’s happening behind the scenes before deciding on an action plan.

Communicate in a way that others will understand. If you don’t send and have them receive the message as intended, then whatever you say means nothing. Gen Z is the most wired generation and prefers to communicate virtually. Embrace technology and connect with them the way they choose.

Listen more than you talk. You won’t learn a thing if you keep talking; that’s why you have two ears and only one mouth. Give people your undivided attention. Ask great open-ended questions to promote dialogue, and sit back and really listen to the answers. You will be amazed at how much you will learn.

Worth Remembering: The quality of your working relationships determines your success and happiness. Stop leaving it to chance and start building the best possible relationships. – Michael Bungay Stanler.

You have the potential to work with four different generations at the same time. Each generation – Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z, the newest generation to enter the workforce en masse – wants to be included, not excluded. If you want to future-proof your career, make them feel important. Take the initiative and develop your soft skills. Learn to be patient, open-minded, a great communicator and an even better listener.

Copyright 2024. Brian Smith—Power Link Dynamics. Brian specializes in soft skills training and leadership development. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you or your organization, visit his website: https;//briansmithpld.com. If you have questions and want answers about your challenges when managing and leading others, contact Brian at brian@briansmithpld.com. He is here to help.

This article was written by Brian Smith without AI assistance and may not be reproduced without permission.

Celebrating Emotional Intelligence Month

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized • Tags: , , , ,

EQ – Emotional Quotient – emotional intelligence or soft skills is the ability to understand, use, and positively manage your emotions to reduce stress, communicate more effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflicts. Daniel Goleman said it best in his groundbreaking book- Working With Emotional Intelligence. ‘A new yardstick is judging us; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.’ Sixty-seven percent of the competencies needed to manage and lead others are emotional-based. If you can’t make an emotional connection and establish a relationship with those on your team, you will be an ineffective manager or leader. To retain and attack talent, you must up your leadership EQ.

One of the most important things about being a good manager or leader is to rule with a heart. You have to know the business, but you also have to know what is at the heart of the business – and that’s people. – Oprah.

We live in a hi-tech world, but your soft skills – empathy, patience, flexibility, open-mindedness, and the ability to communicate and interact with others- will play a more significant role in your success. For the first time in our lives, we have the potential to work with four different generations at the same time. Each generation – Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and the newest generation – Gen Z; communicates, interacts with others, manages and prefers to be managed differently. Each generation has different wants and needs. The successful manager or leader will be the one who can adapt their management or leadership style to build those all-important relationships and work with others the way they like.

Soft skills won’t guarantee a promotion, but not having them puts you at risk of not getting the offer. – Brian Smith.

Research conducted by McClelland, Goleman, Kouzes and others tells a compelling story about the link between an organization’s success and its leaders. Emotional intelligence / soft skills are the magic ingredient that separates the so-so from the exceptional companies. Senior managers and leaders with a high EQ component were 20 percent more profitable and had less staff turnover. People like to work with people who make them feel respected. People want to work with organizations that make them feel accepted and valued as an essential part of the team. How often do you leave your office and have a friendly conversation? How frequently do you sit in the lunch room talking with people and getting to know them better for more than just the work they do. If you want to build a collaborative team and retain and attack talent, up your leadership EQ.

Copyright 2024. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. This article was written by Brian without the assistance of AI and cannot be reproduced without permission.

Are you searching for a training provider or keynote speaker for your next event? To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your team, visit his website at https;//briansmithpld.com or email him at brian@briansmithpld.com.