Category Archives: Self-Help

Answering The Why Not Me Question?

Personal Development, Personal Values, Personality Types, Planning, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , ,

Let's Get Focused ImageWe have all experienced heart ache, disappointment and tasted defeat at some point in our lives. As painful as they might be, they are all part of life. They are all part of the process. If you aren’t happy with the way things have turned out so far,  you have the power within you to change it. You have a choice. You can let your past dictate your future or, you can change the here and now. You can live a deliberate life. You can live the kind of life that you envisioned for yourself. Your life is the result of the choices you’ve made. If you want to change your life – make different choices.

Worth Remembering … “The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment.” – Eckhart Tolle

Where would you rather be, than where you are right now? What would you rather be doing, then what you are doing right now? What career would you rather have, then the career you have right now? I want you to take a moment and write it down on a blank piece of paper. What will you need to do to make that happen? I want you to write all those things down that need to fall into place. (Things like; I need to get a car, move to another city , go back to school, get a better paying job so I can save some money. What ever you need to do to accomplish your life’s goal, I want you to write it down)

Worth Remembering … “I am a firm believer in goal setting. Step by step. I can’t see any other way of accomplishing anything” – Michael Jordan

Congratulations! – You’ve just taken your first step. Now take each one of those things that need to happen and break them down into baby steps. Remember – “Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time”. The only difference between those that realize their full potential and those that don’t – are the ones who are willing to put in the time and effort and do the heavy lifting. If you are willing to do that, then there will be nothing that can stop you from accomplishing what you set out to do. You will fall down, you will feel like giving up, but I promise you – if you hang in there and keep working your plan, you will realize your goals. The only thing standing in your way is you. Are you ready to answer the “why not me” question? I hope so.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a key-note speaker or facilitator who can deliver an informative and entertaining session on a variety of soft-skills topics? Brian will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Visit http://briansmithpld.com

How Much Are You Worth?

Coping with Stress, Personal Development, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , ,

New BeginningHow much are you worth? I posted that question on my Facebook page as a challenge to the majority of women out there who don’t put themselves at the top of their to-do list. Are you worth blocking off one day a week for “Me” time? One day a week to do what ever you want to do for “You”? One day a week to do what ever you want to do for “You” without feeling guilty? Are you disciplined enough to say “No” to family and friends who want to rob you of “Your” time? Based on the responses I got the majority agreed that they aren’t spending enough time, if any, on themselves. That needs to change.

Worth Remembering … “Be selfish with your time. learn to say no to things you do not have an interest in. You are not serving anyone when you spread yourself too thin. Your first obligation should be to yourself. You cannot be any good to for someone else unless you are first good to yourself” – Larry Winget

If I asked you to write down the three most important things in your life – what would you write down? Chances are pretty good that you did not put yourself on that list. Why not? What are you currently doing to cope with the daily stressors in your life? Many doctors estimate that 70 to 80% of the patients they see are exhibiting negative health symptoms either brought on or significantly aggravated by stress. Nine out of ten headaches are due to tension-caused muscle contractions in the neck and shoulders that radiate to the head. Stress can cause forgetfulness, indecisiveness, and an inability to concentrate. Stress is a fact of life. We all have stress in our lives, specially in today’s fast paced, ever-changing world we live in.

Worth Remembering … “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another” – William James

Stress is not always bad. Stress can be a very positive and motivating influence in our lives. A moderate amount of stress can help you to be more creative, energetic, focused and productive. If is only when stress increases beyond our ability to easily cope with it that we begin to feel the negative effects – both physical and emotional. To accomplish more with our lives and achieve a greater feeling of personal satisfaction, we must reduce or eliminate unproductive stressors when possible and improve our ability to cope with stressors we cannot eliminate. What is causing stress in your life? For those stressors you can change, the key is to develop a specific action plan for creating the change you want, then follow through with that plan. For those stressors you cannot change, the key is to change your response to those stressors. Blocking off one day a week for “Me” time is a good place to start.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can deliver an informative and entertaining presentation on a variety of soft-skill topics? Give Brian a call. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

Trust Me – If I Can Do it – Anyone Can

Coaching, Personal Development, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

secret 4When you change the habit – you change the result. I know sometimes that’s  a lot easier said then done, but it can be done. You just need to want it bad enough to motivate yourself to make those changes. Trust me – if I can do it – anyone can. You are the only one who can change you. No one else can make you do something that you don’t really want to do.

Worth Remembering … “Once the “what” has been decided – the “how” will reveal itself”

What needs to change for you to reach your goals? For you to realize your full potential? Do you need to change what and when you eat so you can lose weight? Commit to an exercise routine so you feel better and look better? Do you need to open up a separate savings account and religiously deposit as little as 5% of your weekly pay cheque so you can afford to take the next big step and start your own small business? What’s your WIIFM?

Worth Remembering … “It is only when a person has their own generator that we can talk about motivation. He needs no outside stimulation. He wants to do it” – Frederick Herzberg

People are motivated to act a certain way to get a certain result. Needs plus goal directed behavior equals your payoff – your WIIFM. (What’s in it for me). If I have to do this to get that – and that is important to me – then I will do this to get that. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. You need to be convinced that there is a WIIFM in it for you or you won’t bother to make the effort.

Worth Remembering … “Think it, Act it, Become it. When you change the habit you change the result”

One of my goals for this year is to play better golf. I’m smart enough to know that I won’t get better by myself. The only way I’m going to get better is to work with someone who is better at it then me – to work with a coach. I signed up for winter golf school. So far I’ve changed my grip, stance and swing pattern. Has it been easy? Not a chance. Changing the way you do things to get a better result takes patience, committment and hard work. I know that things won’t get better until I do. I know I need to change the habit to change the result. What’s your WIIFM? What are you willing to change to get a better result? Trust me – if I can do it anyone can.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you – or someone you know – looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call. He’ll work with you one-on-one to insure your event is a overwelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Seven Valuable Leadership Lessons I Learned While Managing Others

Leadership Development, Management, Personal Development, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

millennials-200x192There’s been a great deal of discussion about the difference between managers and leaders. Do we manage more than we lead or lead more than we manage? Is there really that much of a difference between the really good ones to even bother trying to justify one over the other? I think 21st Century managers and leaders need to be both. The role of managing and leading is situationally based. Sometimes you manage – sometimes you lead – but the one constant denominator between both, is the people you work with and interact with. If you can’t communicate and interact effectively with others, then you stand little chance of doing either one well.

Worth Remembering .. “Leadership cannot simply delegate management; instead of distinguishing managers from leaders, we should be seeing managers as leaders, and leadership as management practiced well.” – Henry Mintzberg

To be successful at managing and leading others you need the ability to connect with people, communicate, educate and delegate effectively. You need to be FOCUSED (c).

F – Friendly: Smile, say hello, develop those all important relationships. You need to expand your circle of influence. You need to build collaborative teams. No one accomplishes anything inside a bubble.

O – Organized: Manage your time. Learn to prioritize so you accomplish what’s most important first. How you manage your time is how you manage your life.

C – Competent / Confident: Know what you know and know it very well. But also acknowledge won’t you don’t know and surround yourself with people who do. Some times you have to give up control to get control.

U – Understanding: You need the ability to see it from another person’s point-of-view. Be empathetic, open-minded and flexible. Your way doesn’t have to be the only way to accomplish the same thing.

S – Sincere: If you truly want others to be successful it will be evident in the way that you treat them. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. People like to hang out with people they like.

E – Energized: Be passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing and the direction you are headed and others will want to follow your lead.  If no one is following you aren’t leading.

D – Dependable: Whatever you say you’re going to do – do it. If others can’t trust your word – then they won’t trust you at all.

Worth Remembering  … “Not everyone wants to manage or lead others. But we all get to decide who we want to follow. Be the kind of manager or leader worth following” – Brian Smith

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Someone who can deliver on whats important to you and your organization. Give me a call – let’s talk. Find out about Brian Smith and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com