Avoidance Is Not Conflict Resolution

You can’t ignore a conflict in hopes that it will go away. Avoidance is not conflict resolution. Conflict and disagreements are unavoidable. Whenever you have more than one person in the room you’re going to have some type of conflict or disagreement. Two people can’t be expected to agree on everything. When dealt with in a respectful and positive way, conflict provides an opportunity for both parties to grow.

Worth Remembering … “Problem solving is a having the ability to directly and positively face and resolve difficult situations.”

If you are going to resolve it, you must first understand what caused it. Was it competitive feelings, personal jealousy or resentment, the desire to sabotage someone else’s idea, dissension caused by poor listening skills, lack of good communication skills or a lack of trust? Remember – avoidance is not conflict resolution. It is not going to go away by walking away. You need to deal with it.

Here are five things you can do to resolve conflict.

1 – Provide more information to make discussions productive rather than contentious. Lack of information or not the right information could be the reason behind the conflict.

2 – Ask for solutions. I would never let anyone come to me with a problem and not ask them what would they do to resolve it. If their solution sounds reasonable, and is doable, then go with it.

3 – Establish common goals, In the big scheme of things the differences may not be too far apart. You may discover you both want much of the same thing.

4 – Managing your emotions and keeping your ego in check is key to resolving conflict. Make saving the relationship your number one priority.

5 – Do not force a consensus. Develop a plan of action that is right for both parties. Something that you can both live with. Learn to pick your battles. Sometimes the conflict is not worth damaging or destroying a relationship.

Worth Remembering … ” An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi

My final thought on resolving conflict. We are emotional beings, and sometimes we say things in the heat of the conflict that we wish we could take back. Words are powerful. They can leave an invisible scar. We can use them to build people up or tear them down. Choose your words wisely.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Is Your Cup Half Full or Half Empty?

“For myself – I am an optimist. It does not seem to be much use being anything else”. Churchill was right. Do you walk around thinking that your cup is half-full or half-empty? I choose to see my cup as half-full. I choose to see the positives in everything that happens to me because I believe that everything that happens to me is a learning opportunity. Even the negative things that happen to you, and trust me there will be plenty of them, are really positive ones if you learn to look at them from a different point of view.

Worth Remembering … “The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.” – Amanda Curtis Kane

Attitude – your attitude is a matter of choice. You own it 100% of the time. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. You are the boss of you. You can choose to look at the negative things that will happen to you and wallow down in the muck or you can choose to learn from them and grow. You can choose to learn the lessons the negatives are trying to teach you and move forward. You always have a choice.

Worth Remembering … “Between stimulus and response there is a space. And in that space lie our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices, lie our growth and happiness.” – Stephen R. Covey

Viktor Frankl understood the power to choose. Viktor understood that no one else but he could decide how he should react to any given situation. Viktor was an Austrian born Neurologist and Psychiatrist who was best known for founding a theory he named Logotherapy that is used when working with people who are contemplating suicide. During WWII the Nazi’s had taken away all that was dear to him. He lost his prized manuscripts, his loving parents and siblings. Viktor had a choice to make. He knew he had no control over what they had done to him and his family, but he could control how he choose to react to it. Like Viktor, we all have a choice. We can choose to find the positives in the negatives.

Worth Remembering … “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound. Rebuild those plans and set sail once more towards your goal.” – Napoleon Hill

Having a relationship with my son was and still is very important to me. But in order to have a relationship with my son I needed to have a relationship with his mother, my soon to be ex-wife. I had a choice to make. I could choose to be confrontational and drag out the divorce proceedings or I could choose to negotiate a settlement that we both could agree on. I choose to negotiate a fair settlement.

Is your cup half-full or half-empty?

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Sometimes It’s Best to Park Your Ego at The Door

You and I both know there are a number of ways to accomplish the same thing. Does it really have to be your way? You’re in charge. You’re going to get the credit. However, the more that you allow others to be involved in the process, the more likely it is that they will be interested in the results. Don’t let your ego get in the way of doing the kinds of things you need to do to get others to buy in to what you want to get done.

Worth Remembering … “Drop the idea that you are Atlas carrying the world on your shoulders. The world would go on even without you. Don’t take yourself too seriously. ” – Norman Vincent Peale

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have a healthy ego. Trust me, I have enough ego to fill up any room I walk into. My ego has never been in short supply.. But remember that a strength overused, or used in the wrong situation, can become a weakness. It’s like stress. A little stress in your life is not necessarily a bad thing. Without a little stress in our lives we’d turn into couch potatoes and would never get motivated enough to want to do anything.

Worth Remembering … “Bury your ego. Don’t be the star. Be the star maker.” – Bud Hadfield

A little ego gives us enough self-confidence in our own abilities to step up and take on certain tasks or play a certain role. If you have too much ego you may volunteer to take something on but then have too much pride to admit you’re in over your head and ask for help if things go wrong. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Having some humility and admitting you made a mistake is a sign of strength. Sometimes it’s best to park your ego at the door.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com

Why Women Should Rule The World

Why Women make better leaders can be summed up in just one word – “Empathy”. Empathy, the ability to be able to see a situation from another persons point of view. Women seem to be come by it naturally, while most men have to work at developing it. If there ever was a time for true leadership, it’s now. Dee Dee Myers, author of “Why Women Should Rule The World” believes that women are more successful running businesses because women can make people accountable for their actions, but they are also there to support them.

Women around the world are rewriting history. It’s easy to argue that men haven’t been doing such a great job lately. That’s not meant to be a political statement, I’m just stating the facts. Anna Crowe, CEO and Founder of Crowe PR believes that most women have a strong understanding of what drives and motivates people to perform at their personal best, and how to acknowledge different people for their performance.

“Many women, especially moms, are trained caretakers and know how to deal with crisis situations at home with compassion and patience. These attributes become very relevant when a women leader is dealing with crises situations whether this is related to HR or Clients.”Huma Gruaz

Putting gender aside. Do you have what it takes to be a world class leader?

  • True leaders understand themselves and how their attitude affects others.
  • True leaders understand that they must communicate in a way that others will understand.
  • True leaders understand that every situation is different, so they know they must behave and respond differently. One leadership style does not fit all.
  • True leaders realize that they need their people more than their people need them. They understand that success is a team effort.
  • True leaders know they don’t have to have all the answers, so they need to surround themselves with people who do.
  • True leaders above all, understand that they must lead by example.
  • True Leaders park their ego at the door and do what they need to do to complete the task and to reach the goal.
  • True leaders understand that it doesn’t have to be just their way.

“Women make great leaders because we are flexible and agile. We can see the direction we thought we should take and we regroup and change course for the better. ” – Danita Harris

I could go on, but I think you get my point. Women deserve far more credit then they have been given. Gender shouldn’t be a factor in whether a person has what it takes to be a true leader. True leaders must master the ability to connect with others and build collaborative teams. True leaders must master the ability to communicate in a way that others will understand. True leaders must master the ability to teach others what they need to know and delegate successfully. If you’re looking to develop 21st Century leadership skills, then take a page out of their play book. You’ll be better for it and so will the people you lead.

Copyright (c) 2020. Brian Smith. Power Link Dynamics. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit: https://briansmithpld.com or email: brian@briansmithpld.com