BYOM – Bring Your Own Motivation 4

images (28)If you are waiting for someone else to jump-start your career, promote you because you’re a nice person or get your life back on track, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Everyone has a long list of things that they’d like to accomplish and making sure you’re happy isn’t one of them. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. No one can motivate you – but you. Until you take that first step and show some initiative, everything will remain the same. Nothing changes until you do. Others can help you by creating an environment that is conducive to getting you off your couch, but until you’re convinced it’s the right move to make – it’s a safe bet that you’re staying put.

If you aren’t happy doing what you’re doing, then what’s it going to take to get you doing what you’d rather be doing? What’s getting in your way? What needs to happen for your circumstances to change? Take a moment and write a list of all those things that are holding you back. (Lack of finances, no experience or credentials, etc.) Now for each item that you put down on that list, what do you have to do to change it? Take a part-time job to earn extra money? Go to night school to pump up your resume? Gain some valuable life experience and networking opportunities by volunteering for a worthy cause?

Stop complaining. Put a plan together and start working your plan. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go when you stop making excesses and start producing results. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go when you stop blaming others and start putting the blame squarely on your own shoulders where it belongs. If you don’t believe in yourself – then how to you expect others to believe in you? Repeat after me “Anytime is a good time to start a new beginning. So I might as well start now.” I have faith in you. You can do this.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker? Planning a lunch-n-learn or training session? Contact Brian today. He will customize and deliver a program that is right for you, your people and your organization. To find out more visit http://briansmithpld.com

Even an Old Dog Can Learn a New Trick 3

images (23)Science has proven that most adults never lose the mental capacity to learn new things – they lose the desire. And science has also proven that if you don’t use it (your mental capacity to learn new things) you’ll lose it. Even an old dog can learn a new trick when conditions are right for learning. In a perfect world, your world, where would you rather be than where you are right now? Who would you rather be with then the people you are with right now? What does the perfect life or perfect career look like to you? I’m a student of human behavior and I believe two things for certain about people. I believe we can have and do anything we want to. It depends on two things. Your WIIFM and your ATTITUDE. Both of them are in your control.

Worth Remembering … “If you believe it – you can achieve it. Once the what has been decided the how will  follow” – Unknown

WIIFM:  Have you ever licked a 9-volt battery? When people do something that makes them feel good, what are they more apt to do? If you liked the sensation you got from licking that 9-volt battery, then you’re more likely to lick it again. I believe that people are inherently self-serving and will only do something if they believe they are going to benefit from it. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. Life is all about WIIFM’s. (What’s in it for me). God bless those that volunteer their services or donate money for a good cause. However, I don’t think they would continue to do it if they weren’t getting something out of it. We volunteer our services or donate our money because it makes us feel good about ourselves – that we are making a difference – that we are paying it forward. And feeling good about ourselves and the choices we make is the payoff – it’s the WIIFM. What’s your WIIFM? What will motivate you to take action?

Worth Remembering … “Anything can be taken away from man but one thing – to choose ones attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl 

ATTITUDE:  Try this little experiment. Take each letter of the alphabet and assign value to each letter so that A = 1 all the way down to Z = 26. After you’ve done that, write down the word ATTITUDE and assign the value to each one of those letters. You’ll be amazed to discover that the word attitude adds up to 100%. Think about that for a second. Attitude = 100%. You own your attitude 100% of the time. Only you get to decide how you want to react to any given situation. Yes it’s true that other people or events may be one of the motivating factors that got you to react a certain way but, only you can mentally or physically do it. No one else can do it for you. You are the only one who can have that kind of power over you. Attitude is a choice – your choice. It’s a choice that you get to make 100% of the time.

Is there a connection between your WIIFM and your ATTITUDE? I believe there is. I believe that you need to react to any given situation in a way that is going to get you what you want. You can choose to be happy and do the things that make you happy or not. You can choose a career that is best suited to you and your skills or not. You can choose to allow others to take away your voice and do the thinking for you or not. You have the power to say yes or no. Choose wisely. Make sure you’re getting your WIIFM.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for keynote speeches and facilitating workshops on a variety of soft-skills topics including: communication, time management, coping with stress, problem solving, dealing with difficult people and challenging situations better and developing the leader in you. To find out more visit http://briansmithpld.com

Things Won’t Get Better Until You Do 6

Delegate 2We all feel overwhelmed at times. We all feel tired and can’t seem to find the willpower to carry on. We all have self-doubt, feel unappreciated and wonder why we keep doing what we do. But what separates each and every one of us – is the strength we find within ourselves to get up off the floor and get back in this game we call life. Mind you some are better at it than others. And some decide to give it up all together and walk away. And that’s OK. It just means they haven’t figured out yet what they want to do with the opportunities they’ve been given. They are still searching for meaning in their lives. I believe we all have the capacity within ourselves to lead the kind of life we envisioned for ourselves. We all have the ability to change – to develop the kind of skills we need to be better at what we do.

Worth Remembering … “When you’re up to your neck in alligators it’s easy to forget that the initial objective was to drain the swamp”  – Unknown

The question is – Are you willing to make the kinds of changes you’ll need to be more effective at what you are doing? Are you willing to make the kind of changes needed to learn how to communicate and listen more effectively, get along with others, manage your time or cope with stress?  I believe we are all born a certain style which subconsciously dictates the way we act and react to what’s going on around us. We need to learn to react in a way that is going to get us what we want.  How does a good communicator and listener act? What changes will you need to make to manage your time more effectively, to get along with others or cope with stress?

Worth Remembering … “Between stimulus and response is our greatest power – the freedom to choose.”  – Stephen R. Covey 

There are two things I know for certain about people. Motivation is inside out never outside in. People are motivated to change if they believe there is a payoff. They are motivated to make a change in their lives if they believe it is worth while. It’s what I call a WIIFM. (What’s in it for me). And the second thing I know for certain about people is that they get to decide how they want to react to any given situation. It’s a choice only they get to choose 100% of the time. No one else has the power over them to make them do something they don’t want to do. Now it’s true that we may not like the choices we have to choose from – but it’s a choice none the less.

Worth Remembering … “If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not – you’ll find an excuse” – Unknown 

If you are feeling overwhelmed what changes do you need to make? Do you need to have a shorter to do list? Do you need to learn how to prioritize and manage your time more effectively? If you are feeling tired what changes do you need to make? Do you need to take more “Me” time to recharge your batteries to cope with the stress in your life? Do you need to learn how to say “No” to others so you can say “Yes” to yourself? If you have self-doubts, feel unappreciated and wonder why you keep doing what you’re doing what changes do you need to make? We are adults and adults can change. We can stop doing one thing and start doing another. And if we do it often enough it becomes us. When you change the habit you change the result. You can learn to act in a way that will get you what you want. You just have to decide what that is. Things won’t get better until you do.

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker? Planning a leadership development session or workshop on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

Who Said Your Life Would Be Perfect?

PerfectRepeat after me – “There is no such thing as perfect – there is no such thing as perfect – there is no such thing as perfect”. Besides, perfect is over rated anyhow. It doesn’t have to be perfect – it just has to be good enough. The most important person in your life is you. Don’t worry about trying to please anyone else. If it’s good enough for you – it’s good enough. If it’s good enough for you – then you don’t need to change a thing. However, if you aren’t living the life you envisioned for yourself, then you need to stop talking, quit complaining and do something about it. You either have to change it – or change the way you are thinking about it. You are responsible for you. You are responsible for your own happiness. In the words of Larry Winget, “The Pit-bull of Personal Development” , your life is your own damn fault.

Worth Remembering … The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow is the `Buts`you use today.

Take out a blank piece of paper and write a description of what a perfect life would look like to you. After you have done that – what things would have to happen for you to be able to live that life? Don’t generalize, be specific. To live the prefect life I would have to: Earn X amount of money per year, move to a  warmer climate, get married and have two children. What ever would have to happen for you to live your perfect life, take a moment and write it down. Now I know the list looks daunting, and you might be thinking that there is no way you can accomplish all of that. But trust me, you would be wrong. You would be selling yourself way to  short. If it’s worth dreaming about it – then it’s worth doing something about it. Wishing and hoping won`t make it so. Life – your life – is a planned event. So get busy! Put a plan together and start working that plan.

Worth Remembering … Once the what has been decided – the how will surely follow.  

I know I’m making it sound pretty simple. But, it really is about writing down your goals and then accomplishing them, one goal at a time. Remember.  a journey of a 1000 miles starts with the first step. You took the first step when you wrote down what your perfect life would look like. You took the first step when you listed all the things that would have to happen for you to live your perfect life. You took the first step when you wrote out your plan. Now it’s time for you to take the next step and start to work your plan. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect – it just has to be good enough. 🙂

Copyright (c) 2013. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for speaking engagements, lunch-n-learns and seminars. Contact Brian today. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. Email: briansmithpld@gmail.com. To find out more visit http://briansmithpld.com