If Your Life Sucks It’s Because You Do

Loser 1If you aren’t happy doing with you’re doing, then you need to take a good look in the mirror and realize that the only one getting in your way is you. You need to learn to get out of your own way and live the life you intended. Don’t let shoulda, coulda, woulda be part of your vocabulary. What is getting in the way of you realizing your full potential and accomplishing your goals? I want you to take a moment and write them down. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.

You are the steward of your life. You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you choose the life you lead. It’s a matter of choice – your choice. It is 100% in your control. You choose to be overweight. You choose to be poor. You choose to be miserable. You choose to blame others for your lot in life. When you get knocked down you choose to stay down.

You have the power within you to make a change. You just need to decide what it is you’d like to change for the better? When you change the habit you change the result. Can you create a new habit to get a different result? Replacing old habits with new ones is not easy but it can be done. Just stop doing one thing and start doing another – and if you do it often enough it will become you. You have the capacity within you to make a change. You can learn to act in a way that is going to get you what you want? You just have to decide when you’ve had enough of your old life. Until you get to that point you won’t be motivated enough to make a change. Motivation is inside out never outside in. If your life sucks, it’s because you do.

Copyright (c) 2016. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Not to be reproduced without permission.

Trust Me – If I Can Do it – Anyone Can

secret 4When you change the habit – you change the result. I know sometimes that’s  a lot easier said then done, but it can be done. You just need to want it bad enough to motivate yourself to make those changes. Trust me – if I can do it – anyone can. You are the only one who can change you. No one else can make you do something that you don’t really want to do.

Worth Remembering … “Once the “what” has been decided – the “how” will reveal itself”

What needs to change for you to reach your goals? For you to realize your full potential? Do you need to change what and when you eat so you can lose weight? Commit to an exercise routine so you feel better and look better? Do you need to open up a separate savings account and religiously deposit as little as 5% of your weekly pay cheque so you can afford to take the next big step and start your own small business? What’s your WIIFM?

Worth Remembering … “It is only when a person has their own generator that we can talk about motivation. He needs no outside stimulation. He wants to do it” – Frederick Herzberg

People are motivated to act a certain way to get a certain result. Needs plus goal directed behavior equals your payoff – your WIIFM. (What’s in it for me). If I have to do this to get that – and that is important to me – then I will do this to get that. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. You need to be convinced that there is a WIIFM in it for you or you won’t bother to make the effort.

Worth Remembering … “Think it, Act it, Become it. When you change the habit you change the result”

One of my goals for this year is to play better golf. I’m smart enough to know that I won’t get better by myself. The only way I’m going to get better is to work with someone who is better at it then me – to work with a coach. I signed up for winter golf school. So far I’ve changed my grip, stance and swing pattern. Has it been easy? Not a chance. Changing the way you do things to get a better result takes patience, committment and hard work. I know that things won’t get better until I do. I know I need to change the habit to change the result. What’s your WIIFM? What are you willing to change to get a better result? Trust me – if I can do it anyone can.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you – or someone you know – looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call. He’ll work with you one-on-one to insure your event is a overwelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Resolutions Don’t Work Unless You Do

2015It’s that time of year again when you look back at the year that was and look ahead to the year that will be. I gave up putting a list of New Year Resolutions together a few years ago after reading a Chris Brogan post. Instead of taking the traditional route Chris suggested that you pick 3 action words to help you stay on point. Every action you take throughout the year should be a reflection of one or more of those 3 words. If they aren’t – then don’t waste your time.

If you’re having trouble accomplishing your goals give this method a try. It worked for me and I’m sure it will work for you. Concentrating on those 3 action words helped me stay focused and I ended up accomplishing more. Accomplishing your goals is a planned event, wishing and hoping won’t make it so. It’s not enough just to say it – you’ve got to live it.

Here are the 3 things I’m going to concentrate on in 2015.

Expand my circle of influence: I love what I get to do for a living. I get to work with people who want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively: and who want to discover how to get the best out of themselves and others. I’ve grown my training and consulting business mostly by word of mouth. A satisfied client or someone who saw me speak at an event – mentioned me to someone – who mentioned me to someone – who helped grow my circle of influence by hiring me for their event or they passed on my contact information to someone else. If you’re self-employed and not marketing yourself, then chances are you aren’t growing. And if you aren’t growing you won’t be in business very long. One of my goals for 2015 will be to “Expand my circle of influence” by working with a marketing expert to help me reach more perspective clients.

Improve my golf swing: One thing that I was able to do in 2014 was play more golf. I love playing golf. It’s the one thing I like to do to get away from it all. You need to step back once in a while to recharge your batteries. It’s also a great way to network in a social setting and expand your circle of influence. For those who enjoy playing golf you know it can be a humbling experience. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out – it has a way of reminding you that you still have a great deal more to learn. One of my goals for 2015 will be to strengthen my core muscles and take golf lessons to “Improve my golf swing”. I want to be able to hit more consistent shots and lower my score. If you are going to spend your time doing something, you might as well take the time to learn how to do it right.

Spend more time with my family and friends:  I have a son and a 4-year-old grandchild. One of my goals for 2015 will be to manage my time more effectively by blocking off at least one day a week to hang out with my son and grandchild. The older I get the more I realize how important family and friends are. When I first started out it was all about work. My family came second to my career. Work was a priority for me because I wanted to be able to provide for my family. Mission accomplished. It’s now time to shift priorities and “Spend more time with family and friends”. (Now if I could just get my son interested in playing golf that would be the best of both worlds :-))

What 3 things would you like to accomplish in 2015?: What 3 action words would you pick? What 3 action words will help you stay focused and accomplish those things that are most important to you? What 3 action words would you pick that will give you the best return on your time investment. You only have 168 hours in the course of a week – no more or no less. Those who accomplish the things in life that are most important to them, have learned to invest their time wisely. Spending time on things that won’t get you closer to accomplishing your goals is a waste of your time. Put a plan together and then work your plan. Resolutions don’t work unless you do.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you or someone you know looking for a speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today – http://briansmithpld.com 

Things Won’t Get Better Until You Do

secret 4Life – your life is not about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. It’s about learning how to live the life you imagined for yourself. Are you happy being you? Would you rather be doing something else then what you are doing right now? The only person who can change your current situation is you. If you’re waiting for someone else to come along to improve your lot in life you are going to be waiting a very, very long time. Miracles are great, but they are so hard to come by. Wishing and hoping won’t make it so. Life, your life, is a planned event.

What is getting in the way of you accomplishing those things that seem to be out of your reach? What skills will it take for you to realize your full potential? I believe we are born a certain style which influences how we communicate and interact with others, how we manage our time and deal with stress. And how we solve problems and resolve conflict. I also believe we aren’t born knowing what we need to know to accomplish those things that are most important to us. But I also believe we have the capacity to learn how. When you change the habit you change the result. All you have to do is stop doing one thing and start doing another. And if you do it often enough – it will become you.

You can learn to manage your time more effectively, cope with the daily stressors in your life and deal with difficult people and challenging situations better. The only person getting in your way of accomplishing those things that are most important to you – is you. You just need to learn how to get out of your own way. It starts with you believing in you. It starts with you believing you can. Once you believe in yourself the rest will fall into line. I know I’m making this sound pretty simple. But it really is. We just make it seem impossible. If you can dream it you can do it. Success and being successful is a learned behaviour. It’s time you got busy and start doing what needs to be done. Nothing will get better until you do.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics? Contact Brian today. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com