Life’s a circle. You get back what ever you put out. Attitude – your attitude is everything – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can – or can’t – you’re right. The difference between those who accomplish what they set out to do – and those who don’t – are those who have an unshakeable belief in themselves. They truly believe they will achieve what ever they set out to do. They don’t let self-doubt creep in and sabotage themselves.
Worth Remembering … “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams and endeavors to live the life that they imagined, they will meet with success unexpected in common hours” – Henry David Thoreau
I’m not going to get too deep here – but your internal dialogue (what you say to yourself) has everything to do with how you see yourself. We all feel insecure and unsure of ourselves at times. We all have self-doubt – especially if we are attempting to do something for the very first time. Don’t let failure get in the way of you taking that first step. Self-doubt translates into a lack of confidence – which causes us to think negative thoughts – which in turn causes us to hold back and give up easily rather than face tough challenges. Have enough confidence in yourself – and your abilities – that you can accomplished anything you set out to do.
Worth Remembering … “Lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from the lack of confidence.” – Seneca.
World class athletes, just like world-class actors visualize a gold medal – Oscar-winning performance. They set themselves up for a positive experience by visualizing in their mind’s eye what their performance will look like. They see themselves being successful. They see themselves as winners not whiners. You need to start acting like a winner. The more you do it – the more you will become it. (Think it, act it, become it) The better people think they are, the better they will be.
Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your self-confidence:
- Look for a role model or a mentor: What do they do that makes them appear confident? Act like they act and you’ll eventually begin to act like they act. When you change the habit – you change the result.
- Focus on your achievements not your failures: Focus on what you did well – and what you are going to improve upon the next time. We can all improve. Failure is not fatal. Not getting back up and trying again is.
- Be prepared for any task: Nothing beats thinking and planning it out. You can’t be prepared for everything but you should be able to predict the kinds of things that could go wrong and what you’ll do if it happens.
- Expect the unexpected: Remember nothing – and I mean nothing – ever goes exactly as planned. You need to learn to go with the flow and have confidence in your own ability to deal with what ever gets thrown your way.
Remember – You are what you think and do.
Dr. Nathaniel Branden – a Lecturer and practicing psychotherapists who has done more that any other theorist to advocate the importance of self-esteem to human well-being – and author of “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” believes that the value of self-esteem lies not merely in the fact that it allows us to feel better but that it allows us to live better – to respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully and more appropriately. Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important as the one we pass on ourselves. 🙂
Copyright 2012. Brian Smith. Excerpts for this article were taken from Brian’s soon-to-be published book self-help book “Get-A-Grip – Wishing and Hoping Won’t Make it Happen”
I know there’s no such thing as a perfect world. But let’s suppose for a moment that there is. What would that world look like to you? What would you rather be doing than what you are doing right now? If you knew you couldn’t or wouldn’t stumble and fall where would you rather be than where you are right now? We truly are masters of our own successes – only we get to decide what path to take and what choices to make. Only we get to decide what success and being successful looks like to us. What’s getting in your way from doing what you’d rather be doing? And what are you prepared to do about it?
I know I make this sound simple – but it really is. Life – your life – my life – everyone’s life – is a planned event. And where we end up is determined by the choices we’ve made. You may not like some of those choices – but – none the less – you do have a choice. You can either choose to sit back and do nothing or you can choose to do something. Each step we take can either move us closer to where we’d rather be or take us farther away. We truly are masters of our own successes. We have the power within ourselves to do those things that make us happy – satisfied and fulfilled or not.
Anytime is a great time to start a new beginning – so why not now? Wishing a hoping won’t make it so. Your past is not your future if you decide to change the here and now. Go ahead – get out of your comfort zone and take one more giant step towards the life you envisioned for yourself. And if you happen to stumble and fall – that’s ok – just take a moment to collect yourself – and then get back up and press on. We all stumble and fall. That’s part of the learning process. If you aren’t stumbling and falling you aren’t stretching enough – you aren’t trying hard enough. Nothing worthwhile comes by chance. If you are willing to put in the time and effort you will end up right where you should have been all along. 🙂
It’s time to stop talking about the life you want and start doing something to make it happen. Life is a planned event – wishing and hoping won’t make it so. Instead of writing out your list of New Year Resolutions try something different this year. Think of 3 action words that will motivate you and help you to move closer to your goals. I got this idea from Susan Murphy (http://www.suzemuse.com) – who got the idea from Chris Brogan (http://www.chrisbrogan.com) – who started using this goal setting technique back in 2006. As Chris explains it “Think of a word that gives you the HUGE picture, not the small picture”.
Everything you set out to do – should be reflected in your 3 words. If it isn’t then that’s a strong indication that you are spending time and energy doing something that won’t help you accomplish your goals. And if it’s not going to move you closer to accomplishing your goals – then you have to ask yourself why are you doing it?
The 3 words I’ve chosen for myself this year are – Ask, Health and Network. I’m going to concentrate on these 3 things to motivate me to achieve the goals I’ve set for myself.
ASK – I’m going to ask more this year. I’m going to ask for more of the things that I want – instead of hanging back hoping someone will offer them to me. I figure if I don’t ask – I won’t get. If I ask for what I want – what’s the worst thing that can happen? Either they say no – and if the answer is no I really haven’t lost anything because you can’t lose something you never had. Or they can say yes. And if they say yes – then mission accomplished.
HEALTH – I haven’t been treating myself as well as I should be. I’m going to take better care of myself. I realize without my health – everything else falls by the wayside. I was never big on eating 3 meals a day – specially breakfast. But everything I read – and everyone I talk to – tell me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So this year – I’m going to eat breakfast. I’ll have a light lunch and a healthy dinner. (I’m going to pay close attention to my portion size and sugar intake – limiting my sugar intake to 15 grams a day) I’m going to exercise more. I’m going to spend 20 minutes a day – stretching – doing push-ups and sit-ups to help strengthen my center core. I’m going to take more “Me” time this year. I’m going to schedule more time off to do things other than work. I’m going to read more, relax more and play more.
NETWORK – Marketing has never been my strong suite. I’ve never been the one to knock on doors to get the word out. I’m not a joiner. I’ve never been big on joining social clubs or associations. But this year I’m going to expand my circle of influence. I’m going to reach out more – attend social functions – and networking events. I’m going to give more of myself to those who have a need for my expertise without expecting anything in return. I’m going to pay it forward more.
What 3 words are you going to pick? What 3 words will help motivate you to achieve your goals? Give it a try. You’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain. Make this year your best year yet. – Cheers 🙂
When you change the habit – you change the result. Sounds simple enough – right? Just stop doing one thing and start doing another – and if you do it often enough – it will become you. (Behaviorists suggest that if you do something 21 times in a row – you’ve developed a new habit) Everything we chose to do alters our brain and it fundamentally changes who we are, a process that continues until we die. Dr. Richard Restak – author of “Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot: Unleashing Your Brain’s Potential” believes that the human brain has the ability to reprogram itself and that most adults have the capacity to learn new things. If you could only pick one thing – that would benefit you the most – what would it be? What one thing is getting in the way of you being more successful at what you do?
Anytime is a good time for a new beginning. So why not start now. Why not make the CHANGE. You’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain. Do you want to learn how to manage your time more effectively? Problem solve or deal with difficult people and challenging situations better? Do you want to learn how to communicate and interact more effectively with others? You just need to decide what it is you want to improve upon. What one thing do you want to get better at?
C – Commit to a new beginning. If you aren’t willing to give it your all – then don’t bother. No sense wasting valuable time on trying to accomplish something that you aren’t 100% committed to doing.
H – Habit – Stop doing one thing and start doing another. What new habit or habits will you need to learn to accomplish what you’ve set out to do?
A – Action. Start now. Have a plan and then work your plan. Commit your action plan to writing. That way you can refer back to it often to make sure you are still on track.
N – Never ever give up. There will be times that you will revert back to the familiar. It’s human nature. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just keep going.
G – Goal orientated. Visualize the end result. See yourself in the winners circle. Keep reminding yourself about how much you are going to benefit by making the change.
E – Evaluate your plan and reward yourself. Celebrate small victories along the way. If you aren’t getting the kinds of results that you hoped. Not to worry – time to put a new plan together and start again.
Think it, Act it, Become it. Make this year your best year yet. Commit to a new beginning – make that change.