Rarely can you accomplish all that you set out to do without the help of someone else. You don’t have to like the people you work with but you do need to learn how to get along with them. “Soft-Skills” or emotional intelligence as Daniel Goleman likes to refer them too – is a learned behavior.
Worth Remembering …
“A common core of personal and social abilities has proven to be the key ingredient in people’s success, emotional intelligence” – Daniel Goleman
Understanding yourself well and studying the behaviors of others allows you to improve your performance in relationships, both at work and at home. Your technical ability no longer guarantees success. Results of a study conducted by the HayGroup – a leading authority on emotional intelligence, shows that for most jobs that involve working with people, EQ (Emotional intelligence) is twice as important as IQ. Sixty-seven per cent of the competencies needed to manage or lead people effectively are emotionally based. (Often referred to as soft-skills – our ability to communicate and interact effectively with others)
Worth Remembering …
“In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviors. They don’t need a policy for every mistake … people in these trusting environments respond with enormous commitments and creativity” – Walter Wriston
Establishing a relationship built on mutual respect and trust is a process all humans have to go through when they meet someone for the very first time. We take direction from and hang out with people we like. Trust and respect do not come automatically – you must earn both – one person at a time. You must learn how to get along with people even if you don’t like them. Success is a team sport. Just like it takes a village to raise a child – it takes a team to manage and lead an organization. Think of someone you are having difficulty with – for what ever reason you two aren’t getting along. (This could be someone at work or at home) I want you to take on this challenge and turn that situation around. I want you to apply a 3-step process known as the 3R’s – I promise you’ll be amazed at how effective it is in establishing those all important relationships.
Step One: Rapport: Find out something about the other person other than the work they do. What are their hobbies? – Are they married? – Do they have children? – What do they like to do in their spare time? The easiest way to establish rapport with someone is to get them talking about themselves. Ask questions – get interested in them and then they will be interested in you.
Step Two: Relationship: You can’t have a relationship with anyone that you haven’t first established a rapport with. The more that you can carrying on a conversation with them on subjects that they are interested in – the more likely you are building a relationship with them. You are beginning to break down the barriers between you and the other person. You are starting to like each other.
Step Three: Respect: You won’t respect anyone that you haven’t developed a relationship with first. Respect is reciprocal. You have to give it to get it. The more that you treat someone the way you’d like to be treated the more likely it is that they will respond in kind. You get back – what you send out.
After respect comes trust. You never trust anyone you don’t respect first. If you have established mutual respect in your relationship with the other person, then they will trust you. They may not always agree with you – but they will respect the fact that you have an opinion and you have a right to express it. So go out and give it a try – You’ve got nothing to lose – but a whole lot to gain. – Hey remember – You can trust me 🙂
Every time I hear that Katy Perry song – “The One That Got Away” I think of Annie. I’m sure we’ve all had that one person in our lives who we let get away for what ever reason. Blame it on bad timing, those outside forces that pulled you apart or there where just too many obstacles in your way so you gave up and moved on.
“The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn” – Amanda Kane
We are all running out of tomorrows. Banish the words shoulda, coulda, woulda from your vocabulary. Muster up the courage to step out of your comfort zone. Have enough faith and confidence in yourself that you will bounce back no matter the outcome. After all – what’s the worst thing that could happen? So big deal – you fell short of what you set out to accomplish. Don’t let your “Annie” get away. You want to make sure that when it’s your turn to make that final journey to a higher plain that you can look back on your life with no regrets.
“The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow is the “Buts” you use today” – Author Unknown
I have more years behind me than in front of me. It’s hard to connect the dots looking forward. It’s only when we slow down or stop to reflect on our past – that we see the path that we’ve taken and the legacy we will leave behind. It is only then that we think about those missed opportunities – the “if only’s” we let get away. It’s rare that we get a second opportunity in life to right a wrong. The next time you have a chance to grab the brass ring – don’t blink – don’t hesitate – not even for a second – just do it. Just do it because no matter the outcome you are far better off for having done it – then not.
Every successful business has one. It defines who they are, what they are all about and how they expect everyone who works for the organization to conduct themselves. Their mission statement gives them a sense of purpose – a beacon that keeps them on course. Successful businesses never waver from it, not even for a moment. Every decision they make must be a reflection of it or they won’t do it. They must be true to it no matter what because to deviate from it would send out the wrong message. Successful businesses create it by putting a great deal of thought into it to ensure that it will stand up to any test. That it is a true reflection of what they believe is their reason for being. I’m talking about an organization’s mission statement. A declaration to their staff, clients and potential customers what they can expect if and when they choose to do business with them.
“Once you know the “Why” – the “How” will become clear”
You are in charge of “You” Inc. You are the President, CEO and Chairperson of you. What is your mission statement? Why are you here? What are you wanting to accomplish? Are you being true to you and what you’ve set out to be? Or are you veering off the course you set for yourself and need to make an adjustment to get back on track? Remember – It’s never too late to start a new beginning. It’s never to late to adjust your sails and steer your rutter in the right direction. One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. To be the person you wanted to be. Take a moment to reflect, recharge and rededicate yourself to completing your “Mission” in life. To living a purposeful life – a life a purpose.
“It is only when a person has their own generator that we can talk about motivation. He then needs no outside stimulation. He wants to do it” – Frederick Herzberg
Ask yourself – What do you want? What are you looking to accomplish? And what are you prepared to do to make it happen? The words coulda – shoulda – woulda – must not be part of your vocabulary. You are what you consistently do. Do those things that will help you fulfill your mission in life. Do those things that will help you live a purposeful life – the life that you envisioned for yourself. The more that you do them – the more they will become you. And I promise you – you will be better for it and so will the people around you. Cheers, 🙂