Category Archives: Self-Help

Going Along to Get Along – The Art of Working With People You Don’t Like 1

Dealing with Difficult People, Leadership Development, Management, Networking, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

grumpy ladyYou may not like some of the people you work with – but the truth is – you need to learn how to get along with them. Think of a job that you could do in your life time that didn’t involve working with people. You’d be hard pressed to come up with one.  Dealing with difficult people and challenging situations is a learned behavior. You just need to decide if it’s worth it. But trust me – If you are looking for a career in sales, owning and operating a business some day or managing and leading others then it’s not open for debate – the ability to get along with others is a must have.

Think of someone you are having difficulty connecting with. You don’t know why but there is something about them that drives you crazy. There is something about them that makes you want to pick up a heavy object and smack them across the side of the head. Before you do something that might get you arrested give this 3-step process a try. Remember – you don’t have to like them you just need to learn how to work with them. The 3 R’s will teach you how.

Rapport: Find out something about them that you could use to strike up a conversation. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children or grand children? What do they like to do in their spare time? Do they like to hunt, fish, play golf or read books? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they like. You need to get them talking. Idle chit-chat is important to establish rapport. And you need to establish rapport to move to the next level. You can’t develop a relationship with someone until you’ve established rapport first.

Relationship: Successful sales people understand the value of developing a relationship with their clients. People like to do business with and buy products or services from people they like. You need to develop a relationship with the people you work with and interact with. You need to develop a relationship with the people you’re going to manage or lead. No one wants to let a friend down. If they like you they will go to great lengths so they don’t disappoint you. You need to develop a relationship before you can move on to the final step – respect.

Respect: The final step in this 3-step process is respect. If you have established a rapport and developed a relationship with the people you work with and interact with, then chances are they will respect you for you. They may not like what you said or what you did but, they will respect you and will most likely forgive you. However, keep in mind that respect is reciprocal. You must give it to get it. You can’t demand it. People respect people that they have developed a relationship with.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can deliver an entertaining and informative session on a variety of soft-skills topics including; communication, time management, coping with stress and dealing with difficult people and challenging situations better? Contact Brian today. He will work with you to insure your event is an overwhelming success. http://briansmithpld.com

BYOM – Bring Your Own Motivation 4

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , , ,

images (28)If you are waiting for someone else to jump-start your career, promote you because you’re a nice person or get your life back on track, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Everyone has a long list of things that they’d like to accomplish and making sure you’re happy isn’t one of them. Motivation is inside out – never outside in. No one can motivate you – but you. Until you take that first step and show some initiative, everything will remain the same. Nothing changes until you do. Others can help you by creating an environment that is conducive to getting you off your couch, but until you’re convinced it’s the right move to make – it’s a safe bet that you’re staying put.

If you aren’t happy doing what you’re doing, then what’s it going to take to get you doing what you’d rather be doing? What’s getting in your way? What needs to happen for your circumstances to change? Take a moment and write a list of all those things that are holding you back. (Lack of finances, no experience or credentials, etc.) Now for each item that you put down on that list, what do you have to do to change it? Take a part-time job to earn extra money? Go to night school to pump up your resume? Gain some valuable life experience and networking opportunities by volunteering for a worthy cause?

Stop complaining. Put a plan together and start working your plan. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go when you stop making excesses and start producing results. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go when you stop blaming others and start putting the blame squarely on your own shoulders where it belongs. If you don’t believe in yourself – then how to you expect others to believe in you? Repeat after me “Anytime is a good time to start a new beginning. So I might as well start now.” I have faith in you. You can do this.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a keynote speaker? Planning a lunch-n-learn or training session? Contact Brian today. He will customize and deliver a program that is right for you, your people and your organization. To find out more visit http://briansmithpld.com

Selfless or Selfish – Depends on Your Point of View

Leadership Development, Personal Development, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , ,

7-ways-your-wasting-timeOne of my three “Action” words for this year is “No”. If  I’m going to accomplish what I want to accomplish then I need to say “No” to those things that will distract me and pull me away from doing what I need to do, to get to where I want to go. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m all in favor of paying it forward – however, I think there needs to be limits to the number of times I say yes. How about you? Are you accomplishing all that you want to accomplish – specially those things that are most important to you – or – are you saying no to yourself so you can say yes to someone else?

Worth Remembering … “How you manage your time is how you manage your life” 

You have 168 hours in the course of a week. No more, or no less. How well are you managing your 168? Keep track of where your time goes over a 2 week period and then analyze the results. Are you spending it wisely? Who is robbing you of your time? Are you wasting it by spending it on things that won’t help you reach your goals? You are the boss of you. Only you get to decide where you spend your time. Be sure you are spending some of it on things that matter most to you and that will help you get to where you want to go. Don’t allow others to steal yours away. Time is not a renewable resource. It’s OK to be stingy. Learn to say “No” to others, including your family and friends, so you can say “Yes” to yourself. Are you being selfless or selfish? I guess it depends on your point of view.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for speaking engagements and conducting seminars on a variety of soft-skills topics including: communication, leadership development and dealing with difficult people and challenging situations.

Failure is a Detour – Never a Dead End Street

Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Personal Development, Personal Values, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Pot of Gold“Failure is a detour – never a dead-end street”. I love that quote by Zig Zigler. No one – and I mean no one is perfect! We have all experienced failure at one time or another. In spite of all the pre-planning we do, nothing seems to go off without a hitch.  Getting knocked down has never been an issue for me. I get knocked down all the time. But not getting back up is. I look at the mistakes I’ve made – and trust me I’ve made plenty – as simply an opportunity to learn from them, make the necessary adjustments so I don’t make the same mistake too many times, and then begin again.

Worth Remembering … “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have discovered 10,000 ways that do not work.” – Thomas Edison.

How you look at failure – your failures and the failures of others, makes all the difference in the world. Attitude – your attitude and how you choose to react to any given situation, is a choice that only you get to make. You can beat yourself up over them – or you can choose to learn from them. No one can force you to react a certain way. When you get knocked down I want you to react in a way that is going to get you what you want. When you think about your failures – think of them as opportunities to grow.

Worth Remembering … “Your attitude determines your altitude.” – Covey

I can’t help but get inspired watching the Olympic’s.  The hard work and dedication that each athlete has put into preparing themselves over the last four years for this moment, is incredible. All they can do now, is do their best. All they can do is walk away from that experience knowing that they gave it their all. Winning a medal is a bonus. Discovering who you are and what you are capable of doing when you put your heart and soul into something, is the real prize. Believing in yourself – knowing that there is nothing that you can’t overcome – makes it all worthwhile. Always remember that failure is a detour – never a dead-end street.

Copyright (c) 2014. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for keynote speeches and delivering seminars on a variety of soft-skills topics including: communication, team building, coping with stress, dealing with difficult people and challenging situations better and developing the leader in you. To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com