Category Archives: Leadership Development

If You Aren’t Failing You Aren’t Trying Hard Enough 1

Leadership Development, New Year's Resolutions, Personal Development, Planning, Self-Help • Tags: , , , , , ,

bulls eye 2“A good goal is like a strenuous exercise – it suppose to make you stretch” – Mary Kay. Personal growth happens just outside your comfort zone. When was the last time you tried something you’ve never done before? Are you guilty of letting your fear of failing  hold you back? Setting and achieving your goals doesn’t happen by chance – it should be a planned event. If you are mentally and physically capable of accomplishing what you set out to do – then the only thing stopping you is you. There will be roadblocks, detours, and highways under construction along the way, but if you don’t lose sight of where you want to end up, you’ll get there.

Here are some basic guidelines on goal setting and performance improvement. Remember that a good goal starts with the end in mind. Once you decide what it is you want to accomplish put a step-by-step plan together to get there.  Think of your plan as creating a SMART Target and aim for the bull’s-eye.

S – Specific: Write down what you want to accomplish. Don’t generalize. You’ve got to name it to claim it. If you want to lose weight – how much weight do you want to lose? If you want to save some money – how much money do you want to save? If you want to improve your golf game – how many strokes do you want to shave off your average score?

M – Measurable: You’ve got to be able to measure your progress. Break your goal down into bite size pieces. Anyone can eat an elephant one bite at a time. What results do you want to see in a week, month or year? If you can’t measure it then don’t do it. Because if you can’t measure it you won’t know if you are working the right plan.

A – Attainable: Don’t set yourself up for failure. Don’t commit to completing a task in 20 minutes if you think it might take you 40? If you do that you’re beat before you start. You need to believe that the target can be reached  – that you aren’t just wasting your time.

R – Realistic: To try to lose 20 pounds in a week might not be healthy or realistic. To loose one pound a week may be more inline. It must be doable or you’ll most likely give up trying or not even bother trying at all.

T – Time-Based: An expected date of completion is a great motivator. It helps you create a sense of urgency. Don’t sell yourself short here. Add in some extra time to compensate for those roadblocks, detours, and highways under construction that you may bump into along the way.

Be sure to commit your plan to writing. It will give you something to refer back to as you monitor your progress. Give your written plan the same status that you’d give any contractual agreement. Honor your commitments and never ever give up. “Only those who fail greatly can ever achieve greatly” – Robert Kennedy. If you aren’t failing you aren’t trying hard enough.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a keynote speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Give Brian a call. He will work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find out what Brian can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com

Some Have to Work at It – For Others it Comes Naturally

Dealing with Difficult People, Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Personal Development, Personality Types, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , ,

grumpy ladyHave you ever met someone for the very first time and thought, “Oh, yuck – What a dink? And I don’t mean double income no kids. You didn’t know why – you just knew there was something about them that you didn’t like. But, after you spent some face time with them, and you got to know them better, did you ever change your mind? Building relationships and establishing mutual respect with the people you work with and interact with, is crucial to your overall success. (Not to mention your sanity).

You have two choices; You can either learn to get along with them – or you can dis-associate yourself from them. If it is someone you have to work with. or interact with. then you’ll have no choice but to learn how to get along with them. You don’t have to socialize with them outside of official company functions and you don’t have to go to the local watering hole after work and buy them their favorite beverage, but you will need to learn how to coexist.

If it is someone in your social circles and it won’t impact your relationship with your other friends. then just walk away.  You get to pick and chose who you want to hang around with. There aren’t any rules that say you have to like everyone.

Three Steps To Establishing Those All Important Relationships

Step One: Establish Rapport – Find out something about them that they like. Do they have a hobby? What do they like to do in their spare time? You need to be able to carry on a conversation with them on a subject that they enjoy talking about. Once you get them talking about the things they like – you’ll learn everything you need to know about them to move on to the next step.

Step Two: Develop a Relationship. You can’t develop a relationship with anyone you haven’t established rapport with first. People like to hang around and work with people they like. The more that you interact with them, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to develop a relationship with them. Be patient. This step takes time. Keep at it. Trust me – they will eventually start to open up to you.

Step Three: Build Respect – No one respects anyone that they haven’t developed a relationship with first. Some people will move through this three-step process quicker than others, but it’s a process we all need to go through. If you have navigated the three-step process successfully you will have established mutual respect. They may not agree with everything you say or do but they will agree that you have the right to say it. Respect is reciprocal. You get what you give. If you treat someone with respect. eventually you will get it in return.

Try this 3-step process the next time you have to go along with someone to get along. Some have to work at it – for others it comes naturally.  Give it a go – Let me know how it works out.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Looking for a speaker or workshop facilitator who can inform and entertain on a variety of soft-skills topics?  To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you, your people and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com – You’ll be glad you did.

Pushing Through The Glass Ceiling

Enduring Principles, Ethics, Leadership Development, Management, Personal Development, Personal Values • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

shattered glassSuccess and being successful has nothing to do with gender, colour or social status. Success and being successful has everything to do with committment, hard work and a can-do-it-attitude. It’s nice to see that women all over the world are starting to push through the glass ceiling to take their rightful place managing and leading Fortune 500 Companies. Women are now out pacing men in starting small businesses. According to research  conducted by The Centre for Women’s Business – well over 10.1 Million firms in the USA are owned by women – employing more than 13 Million people.

“It may be the Cock that crows, but make no mistake that it’s the Hen who decides when and where to lay the egg” – Margaret Thatcher

Dee Dee Myers – author of “Why Women Should Rule The World” believes that women are more successful at running small businesses because women can make people accountable for their actions but, they can also be there to support them. “Females have that trait, where maybe most men do not”. What women seem to come by naturally is empathy – the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. An important 21st Century skill. Unfortunately most men still have to learn it. Mary Matalin, former counselor to President George W. Bush was quoted as saying – “Women around the World are rewriting history at a ferocious pace with or without mans permission”. It’s easy to argue that men haven’t been doing such a great job of managing things lately.

“Be selfish with your time. Learn to say no to things you do not have an interest in. You are not serving anyone when you spread yourself too thin. Your first obligation should be to yourself. You cannot be any good for someone else unless you are first good to yourself.” – Larry Winget

A very dear and close personal friend of mine likes to remind me now and again that she doesn’t need a man in her life to “complete” her. She’s capable enough to do that all on her own. After all – she’s be operating her own very successful small business now for over 30 years. She knows who she is and she’s not afraid to speak up and ask for what she wants. That’s one of the many qualities I love and admire about her. Men who feel threatened by that are neanderthals, still living in the past. They need to get over themselves and wake up to the realities of a new order of things where women have a seat at the table. It’s great to see that more and more women feel the same way. We are all going to be better for it.

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Brian is available for workshops or keynote speeches on a variety of soft-skills topics. He’ll work with you one-on-one to insure your event is an overwhelming success. To find our more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization visit http://briansmithpld.com

Seven Valuable Leadership Lessons I Learned While Managing Others

Leadership Development, Management, Personal Development, Self-Help, Soft-Skills Training • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

millennials-200x192There’s been a great deal of discussion about the difference between managers and leaders. Do we manage more than we lead or lead more than we manage? Is there really that much of a difference between the really good ones to even bother trying to justify one over the other? I think 21st Century managers and leaders need to be both. The role of managing and leading is situationally based. Sometimes you manage – sometimes you lead – but the one constant denominator between both, is the people you work with and interact with. If you can’t communicate and interact effectively with others, then you stand little chance of doing either one well.

Worth Remembering .. “Leadership cannot simply delegate management; instead of distinguishing managers from leaders, we should be seeing managers as leaders, and leadership as management practiced well.” – Henry Mintzberg

To be successful at managing and leading others you need the ability to connect with people, communicate, educate and delegate effectively. You need to be FOCUSED (c).

F – Friendly: Smile, say hello, develop those all important relationships. You need to expand your circle of influence. You need to build collaborative teams. No one accomplishes anything inside a bubble.

O – Organized: Manage your time. Learn to prioritize so you accomplish what’s most important first. How you manage your time is how you manage your life.

C – Competent / Confident: Know what you know and know it very well. But also acknowledge won’t you don’t know and surround yourself with people who do. Some times you have to give up control to get control.

U – Understanding: You need the ability to see it from another person’s point-of-view. Be empathetic, open-minded and flexible. Your way doesn’t have to be the only way to accomplish the same thing.

S – Sincere: If you truly want others to be successful it will be evident in the way that you treat them. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. People like to hang out with people they like.

E – Energized: Be passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing and the direction you are headed and others will want to follow your lead.  If no one is following you aren’t leading.

D – Dependable: Whatever you say you’re going to do – do it. If others can’t trust your word – then they won’t trust you at all.

Worth Remembering  … “Not everyone wants to manage or lead others. But we all get to decide who we want to follow. Be the kind of manager or leader worth following” – Brian Smith

Copyright (c) 2015. Brian Smith – Reformed Control Freak. Are you looking for a speaker who can entertain and inform on a variety of soft-skills topics? Someone who can deliver on whats important to you and your organization. Give me a call – let’s talk. Find out about Brian Smith and what he can do for you visit http://briansmithpld.com