Category Archives: small business owner

How To Get Along With People Even If You Don’t Like Them

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Dealing with Difficult People, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized

Rarely can you accomplish all that you set out to do without help from someone else. You don’t have to like the people you work with, but you must learn how to get along with them. Daniel Goleman believes that soft skills – often called emotional intelligence – are a common core of personal and social abilities that have proven critical to people’s success.

Worth Remembering – “One of the most important things about being a good manager is to rule with a heart. You have to know the business, but you also have to know what is at the heart of the business, and that’s people.” – Oprah.

A better understanding of yourself and understanding others’ behaviours allows you to improve your performance in relationships at home and work. Your technical abilities alone no longer guarantee success in working with others. Results of a study conducted by the HayGroup, a leading authority on emotional intelligence, show that EQ (emotional intelligence) is twice as important for most jobs involving working with people than IQ. You don’t have to be the most intelligent person in the room to be the most effective. Sixty-seven percent of the competencies needed to work with others are emotionally based. You can learn to be more empathetic, open-minded, and flexible and communicate and interact more effectively with others.

Worth Remembering – “In organizations where people trust and believe in each other, they don’t get into regulating and coercing behaviours. They don’t need a policy for every mistake. People in trusting environments respond with enormous commitment and creativity.’ – Walter Wriston.

Establishing a relationship based on mutual respect and trust is a learned behaviour. It is a process that all humans go through when meeting someone for the very first time. We take direction and like to hang out with people we like. Trust and respect don’t come automatically. You must earn it one person at a time. You must learn to get along with people even if you don’t like them. Working with others is a team sport. Just like it takes a village to raise a child – it takes a team to manage and lead an organization.

Take the 3-R Challenge and learn how to get along with people even if you don’t like them.

Think of someone you are having difficulty working with. For whatever reason, you two are not getting along. It can be someone at work or in your social circles. Please take on this Challenge and turn that situation around. I want you to apply a 3-step process known as the 3-Rs. (Rapport, Relationship, Respect) I promise you will be amazed at how effective it is to establish those all-important relationships.

Step One: Establish Rapport. Find out something about them other than the work they do. Do they have hobbies? Are they married? Do they have children? What do they like to do in their spare time? The easiest way to establish rapport is to get them talking about themselves. Ask questions, and show interest in them. If you show interest in them – they will be interested in you.

Step Two: Develop a Relationship. You cannot develop a relationship with anyone unless you have established rapport first. The more you converse with them on subjects they are interested in – the more likely you are to develop a relationship with them. You are beginning to break down the barriers between you and them. You are starting to like each other or at least tolerate each other.

Step Three: Mutual Respect. You will not respect anyone until you first develop a relationship with them. Respect is reciprocal, but you have to give it before you get it back. The more you treat someone how you want to be treated, the more likely they will respond in kind. You get back what you send out.

Build Trust; You will never build trust with anyone you don’t respect first. If you establish mutual respect in your relationships with the other person, they will trust you. They may not always agree with you, and you may not always agree with them, but they will respect that you have a right to express your opinion.

Take the 3-R Challenge.

Take the 3-R Challenge and establish those all-important relationships. Contact me at – brian@briansmithpld.com and let me know how you made out. I am here to help you succeed. Remember – You don’t have to like them, but you do need to learn how to get along with them.

Copyright (c) 2023. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you looking for a corporate training provider, a keynote speaker for your next conference or planning an in-person or virtual workshop? Contact Brian – he will customize a program for you and your organization. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you, visit https://briansmithpld.com – All four of Brian’s published books are available on Amazon – https://amazon.com/author/brsmith.

It’s Time Leaders Got FOCUSED On People

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Enduring Principles, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personal Values, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized

People like to work with and socialize with people they like. Building relationships at work is just as meaningful as building relationships with those you interact with outside of work. The newest generation to enter the workforce – Gen Z – prefers to work for an organization that allows fun, friendships and life-enriching activities. How much fun are you and your leadership team to be around?

Worth Remembering – “Good coaching is about leadership and instilling respect in your players. Dictators lead through fear – good coaches like good leaders don’t.” – Unknown

It’s time leaders got FOCUSED on People.

F – Friendly – Smile, say hello, and develop those all-important relationships. You need to expand your circle of influence. Lead by walking around and getting to know everyone on your team.

O – Organized – My Dad told me you’re late if you don’t show up 15 minutes before you said you would. You’re sending the wrong message if you don’t arrive on time – you’re telling everyone that your time is more valuable than theirs.

C – Courteous – Treat people respectfully, even if you don’t like them. It costs you nothing to be respectful of others. But it pays dividends.

U – Understanding – You need to see things from another person’s point of view. You only know what you know – and you can’t know everything. Be empathetic, open-minded and flexible.

S – Sincere – What you say and do must be congruent. If you genuinely want to build relationships with others, how you treat them will be evident.

E – Energized – Be passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing and the direction the organization is headed.; others will want to follow.

D – Dependable – Whatever you say you will do – do it. People must be able to depend on you. Your word must be your bond. If others can’t trust your word – they won’t trust you.

Worth Remembering – “Show respect to others even when they don’t deserve it. Showing respect to others reflects your character – not theirs.” – Unknown.

People won’t care about you or your organization unless they know how much you care about them. People won’t respect you or your leadership team – unless they know you respect them. Respect is reciprocal – you have to give it to get it. You can’t demand respect – you must earn it.

Copyright (c) 2023. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit: https://briansmithpld.com. All four of Brian’s books are available on Amazon in print and e-reader editions. https://amazon.com/author/brsmith

The Key To Stress-Free Goal Setting For 2023

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Coping with Stress, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Management Training, Mentorship, Personal Development, Planning, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Teacher, Uncategorized

Well, that’s a wrap. You can say goodbye to 2022. It’s another year in the books. How did you make out? Did you accomplish everything you set out to do? What’s left on the to-do list that you didn’t accomplish and want to carry over to 2023? The key to stress-free goal setting is to plan them the way you plan your vacation. Like a great vacation, a great plan always starts with the end in mind. You need to decide what goal you want to accomplish – write down all the things that need to fall into place to reach your goal and then put together your itinerary so you end up where you want to go.

Worth Remembering … “Our goals can only be reached through the vehicle of a plan. There is no other route to success.” – Pablo Picasso.

1. Specific: You’ve got to name it to claim it. You need to decide where you want to go. If it is Florida – where in Florida? What city, town, hotel or resort? Are you flying there, taking a bus or driving your vehicle? If you are driving, do you have a map? If you fail to plan your route of travel – then don’t be surprised where you end up. Be specific; don’t generalize.

2. Measurable: You need to decide how long it will take you to get there. Are you going to stop along the way – or drive straight through? If you are going to stop along the way – how many miles a day are you going to drive, and where will you stay for the night? You need to measure your progress to know you have the right plan to get you to your final destination at the allotted time.

3. Attainable: Have you put together a budget? Your goal isn’t attainable if you don’t have all the resources you’ll need to vacation in Florida. You might have to put that goal on your wish list and revisit it later. If you decide your goal isn’t feasible, don’t waste time planning it.

4. Realistic: You need to decide how long you will stay in Florida so you know when you need to leave to get back home. You have to be honest with yourself. Can you do everything you want to do in the time you have? Your goal needs a realistic timeline, so you aren’t setting yourself up to fail.

5. Time-Based: You need to decide when is the best time to take a vacation? Do you have a specific date in mind? Time-based goals give you a sense of urgency. They can motivate you to take action. They can keep you on track and help you manage your time. Don’t spend your free time working on something that won’t help you accomplish your goal. Every minute you spend putting your plan together will save you time implementing it.

Worth Remembering … “Personal excellence can be achieved by a visionary goal, through planning, dedicated execution, and total follow-through.” – Gerald Ford

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect plan. Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain caused by adverse circumstances. Adverse circumstances are issues that are beyond your control. Be prepared to roll with the punches if you hit a roadblock or something unexpected happens. You may have to adjust your plan on the fly. The key to stress-free goal setting is to plan them like you are planning your vacation, but have a plan B just in case plan A doesn’t work out as you hoped.

Copyright (c) 2022. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. To learn more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit – https://briansmithpld.com. All four of Brian’s books are available on Amazon in print and e-reader formats. https;//amazon.com/author/brsmith

Different Strokes for Different Folks – The Sweet Science of Great Coaching

brian smith-pld, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Leadership Development, Management, Mentorship, Personal Development, Personality Types, Professional development, Reformed Control Freak, Self-Help, small business owner, Soft-Skills Training, Teacher, Uncategorized

Think of a coach you admire – what about their style that you like? What don’t you like? If you were to write down ten key traits that you believe a great coach should possess – what would you write down on your list? (Traits like patience, open-mindedness, flexible, empathetic, good communicator, excellent listener, a problem solver, knowledgeable, etc.) I don’t believe you are born a great coach. I think great coaches are made. You can be the kind of coach you want to be. You don’t have to be the most intelligent person in the room to be the most successful coach.

Worth Remembering – “The main ingredient for stardom is the rest of the team.” – John Wooden

I believe we are born with a particular style – a particular way of behaving – that heavily influences how we communicate and interact with others. Great coaches can assemble a group of people with different personalities, different skill sets, and varied backgrounds and mould them into a cohesive, collaborative team by identifying how they prefer to be coached and working with them in the way they like. If you can adapt your coaching style to be more in tune with how they want to be coached – chances are they will be more receptive because you are coaching them the way they like.

Worth Remembering – “The task is not to change human beings. The task is to multiply team performance by putting to use whatever strength there is in individuals.” – Peter Drucker.

Understanding yourself well and the behaviour of others will improve your relationships at work and home by increasing your willingness to change how you interact and respond to others who have a different type of behaviour than yours. Several assessment tools are available to help identify a person’s behavioural type. I use an assessment tool based on Dr. William Marston’s DISC Theory. Marston believed that are four distinct styles of behaviour: Dominate, Interactive, Steadiness and Conscientious, and each type communicates, interacts and prefers to be coached differently.

Worth Remembering – “To reach your goals and dreams, you must learn to assist others in reaching theirs.” – Joe Gibbs

If you are a coach that believes in science, then you should have four different approaches to coaching.

Dominate Personalities: Be direct. Make communication brief and to the point. Respect their need for autonomy. Be clear about rules and expectations. Resist the urge to micromanage.

Interactive Personalities: Be relaxed and friendly. Let them verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Provide written details. Keep the conversation light – use humour.

Steadiness Personalities: Provide a consistent and secure environment. Be logical and systematic in your approach. Be patient and let them adapt slowly to changes. Provide written instructions.

Conscientious Personalities: Give clear expectations and deadlines. Be precise and focused. Let them know your high standards are not negotiable, but how you accomplish them could be.

If want to be a great coach, then remember different strokes for different folks and the sweet science of great coaching.

Copyright (c) 2022. Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics. Not to be reproduced without permission. Are you searching for a corporate trainer for yourself or your team? To find out more about Brian and what he can do for you and your organization, visit https://briansmithpld.com